Crimson Vow
by HelenaHills
Summary: "You can do whatever you wish with me until you're satisfied. But in return, you'll never drag other people in this!" Neuhaus hatred for Satan's son Okumura Rin drives him into doing horrible things to the boy. Until he grows to love him. Rape, violence.
1. The Vow

**A/N: Hello everyone! As you may have already guessed, I love the Blue Exorcist anime, and I also love angsty and okay, sick kind of relationships. I couldn't find my favorite yaoi pairing of Blue Exorcist anywhere, so I decided I should just write about it myself. I don't know how, but this pairing struck me right away. Please, lovers of angst, enjoy! This starts from where Neuhaus first fought Rin and then the storyline changes between them. **

"You fucking bastard's spawn! You think I'll ever forgive you? Satan killed my family before my very eyes! It's time to get my revenge!"

"Neuhaus, stop it!" Yukio screamed. His colleague had lost a lot of blood, but he was still out of it, ruled by his anger and hatred. For his brother's blood, for killing Satan's child, it didn't matter to him if he died trying. The man was blinded, attacking without any second thoughts, and Yukio was there, left, lying down, and totally incapable of helping his twin brother.

Rin sheathed his demonic sword, in front of the shocked eyes of his raging teacher. He opened his arms, and Neuhaus attack stabbed him at the left side of his belly, passing through. The blue flames surrounding him subsided, and so did his demonic features. He was in pain. "I understand." He was in pain, but he was bearing with it, strong and determined. His blue eyes were wild and resolved. "So if it eases your pain, you can do with me anything you like. You can hurt me as much as you need. But don't involve other people in this!" Paku was hurt, everybody else was in danger because of this!

Neuhaus eye, the one he had left, twitched. Was this how Satan's son had deluded everyone? He pulled his weapon out of the half-demon's body, and he let out a small scream in reaction to the pain. "How noble words, coming from Satan's offspring." His breathing had settled, his self-control had started to fall back into place. He had just found a way. He had found a way to reveal the true nature of that miasma to all of those stupid kids that worshipped and trusted him. "If only those words were true, wouldn't it be nice?"

"I mean them!" Rin was stumbling, cringing by the pain in his waist. He was clinging at his wound, his hands were all red and dyed in his blood, but he'd still look at Neuhaus fiercely in the eye. "I'm serious, I'm not lying. Do to me anything you want if it helps you!"

Neuhaus shot a look at Yukio. The youngest twin was unable to move. Still, he was a professor in this academy? Then he would at least understand the meaning of his following words: "Satan's son, are you familiar with the Crimson Vow?" Yukio's eyes doubled at those words. He tried screaming something at Rin, but one of Neuhaus tamed demon parts shut his mouth.

"Crimson Vow? What is that?" Rin questioned. His wound had already started healing.

"If you really believe those words you just said, then you should prove them by taking this Vow with me." Neuhaus explained. "This Vow was created by Exorcists to prevent betrayals among them. Since you've taken it, it compels you to follow by your sayings. You can't back down on it. At first, it would kill the ones disobeying, but better now, it makes them actualize their words. Once you take it, it binds you." Neuhaus noticed that Rin's expression hadn't changed. "But you'd never do that, would you? You're lying after all." He smirked. "Someone like you would never go that far to save those people. Demons only know how to lie well."

"I'm not lying!" Rin yelled at him angrily, once again. "And I'm taking that Vow!" He walked towards his teacher.

Yukio somehow managed to free his mouth. "NII-SAN, NO!" He screamed. "Don't you understand what you're doing?"

Rin gave Neuhaus his right arm. "He can do whatever he wants." He said, never breaking eye contact with his teacher. He wouldn't give this bastard the satisfaction of disregarding him as a demon. He would prove to everyone that he was not 'Satan's son' but Okumura Rin! No matter the lengths he'd have to dive into.

Neuhaus smirked. "I wonder how long you will keep that act on." He grabbed Rin's hand and started drawing some weird circles on it with his blood, which has still dripping from his arms. "You see, the Crimson Vow is completely legal. No matter what I'll do to you once we've taken it, _I_'ll be completely legal." Rin didn't answer, he just kept staring at him. _He's bluffing a great deal. _Neuhaus thought. _Well not for long. _

After he finished the circles, he looked at Rin's eyes once again. Never did they show any signs of backing down. "Tell me what you told me before." He ordered Rin, entangling their fingers together, Rin's right hand and his left. Yukio opened his mouth to speak, to stop his brother, but no voice would come out of it.

"You can do anything you wish with me until you're satisfied." Rin said seriously, without any hesitation. "But in return, you'll never drag other people in this."

_Stupid kid, you can't do it. I'm not buying it. _"I accept that vow." Neuhaus responded. A golden glowstarted surrounding their hands. _Come on, back off! How long are you going to continue this? Cower up and show me that disgusting, little, cheap demonic side of you!_

Yukio watched terrified as the golden glow shined brightly for a moment and then disappeared, sealing the deal. Rin was still as determined as when it first started, but Neuhaus expression was unreadable. Yukio couldn't take it anymore. "Please!" He started begging. "Please Neuhaus! Don't kill my brother! Don't kill Rin! Please, please! Don't kill Rin!"

The tall dark-haired man slowly lowered his hand and parted from Rin's. Without saying anything, he looked at Rin's eyes for some moments and then left and walked away, disappearing in the shadows. The tamed demon parts were extinguished and Yukio was released. Rin ran over to his brother. "Yukio! Are you okay?"

"What did you do, Nii-san?" Yukio was trembling out of worry for his older brother. At Rin's arm, a little lower from his shoulder, a black daedal line had appeared, much like a tattoo. "Don't you understand that you gave him every right to kill you without even being prosecuted?"

"Yukio, if he was planning to kill me all along I don't think he'd worry that much about prosecution…"

"No nii-san, but then you could have fought back!" Yukio stated desperately. "Don't you understand? The Crimson Vow takes away from you the right to defend yourself! If he does decide to do anything, you'll be unable to stop him!"

Rin contemplated about for some seconds. Even if that was true… He didn't think Neuhaus would kill him. If so… "He didn't do anything. If he wanted, he would have."

Yukio sighed. "Let's hope that is indeed the case…"

Not so far away, hidden in the shadows, Neuhaus needed time to comprehend what had just happened. His mind had drawn a blank. Did a demon truly take the Crimson Vow with him? Did Satan's child just sell himself like it was nothing, only to protect mere humans? Either that kid was a pure idiot and didn't understand what his actions meant, or… Or he was bluffing. Yeah, that must be it. He was bluffing. He only took the Vow because he thought that Neuhaus would never use it. So this way he could appear like always, wearing his stupid smile, goofing around without a care in the world, winning the other kids liking and approval, while striking back when it's least expected… That's what demons do! He only disguises himself as a good guy so he can destroy us easily afterwards! Thinking that now he has everyone on his side…

Neuhaus gritted his teeth and curled his hands into fists as he took the decision of his next act.

_Cursed demon, aren't you wrong! I'll teach you how this deal was the worst thing that could have happened to you! _


	2. First Mistake

**A/N: The Blue Exorcist's anime staff had no business to resurrect Neuhaus's wife and kill them together at the latest episodes… Damn it all! T.T**

"Nii-san, are you sure going to be alright?"

"Oh come on Yukio, stop worrying!" Rin grinned. "Classes are continuing just fine! Shura's training is going well and she said I would soon get Kurikara back! Neuhaus sensei and Sir Pheles are in the Academy too, and it's fully protected, so nothing bad is going to happen! Also, we said with the guys that we could go camping…"

"That's what I fear. You and camping together usually means disaster." Yukio sighed exasperated as he carried out a final check of his belongings. "Please nii-san, promise me that you'll stay in the Academy and will create no mess while I'm gone?"

A couple of months had passed since Rin had taken the Vow. In the meanwhile, everybody had learnt the truth about his origin, the Vatican had accepted him but was still rather hesitant, Shura had taken his sword away from him until he could control his flames, and now Yukio was leaving for an important mission. Rin remembered of the Vow only the rare times he'd see and actually take notice of it. It was covered by the school uniform's short sleeve, and seemed like a very cool tattoo like a bracelet high on his arm, so he just dismissed the thought of what it stood for. Neuhaus also acted in class like nothing had ever happened so Rin just concluded everything was a closed chapter. For the time being, he cherished the thought that he'd have all the building by himself with Yukio's departure. He would invite Bon, Shima and Konekomaru over so that they could play video games all night, maybe some time even Izumo and Shiemi for a sleep-over… Rin practically drooled, picturing himself and cute Shiemi cuddled up together. Shiemi was so sweet! And she had really nice boobs… Rin blushed at his perverted thoughts and started rolling on his bed, full of wishful thinking.

Yukio sweat-dropped. "Hey nii-san… I'm not wasting my breath, am I?"

"Uh? Sorry Yukio, you said something?"

_He's SO going to mess things up!_ Yukio had already given up hope. "Nothing, forget it. I'm going." He picked his suitcase up. "Just so I will get a bit of peace; please say that you'll at least try to act your age?"

"I'm only fifteen!"

"Almost sixteen! ...And a bit more mature than that would actually be nice."

"Oh fine, fine!" Rin shouted, but not really irritated. "I promise that I will behave. For real. Happy now?"

"Eh." Yukio made the so-so gesture. But then he kindly smiled. "Nii-san, I'm going now. Take care, okay?"

"You too, Yukio." Rin smiled back. "Be careful." Yukio waved and got out of the room, taking his stuff with him. Rin remained looking at the door for some moments. He had faith in Yukio, but that didn't mean he couldn't worry about his brother, no matter how much of a trained exorcist he might be. Oh well. It was pointless to think about that now. He bounced on the bed. Today was Saturday, he didn't have many things to do, and all of his classmates had gone to their homes. He reached down his bed and grabbed one of his favorite manga. He would just indulge himself in fiction until the day was over.

It must have been approximately an hour afterwards when he heard a knock on his door. He looked up perplexed. No one should be in the academy anymore, at least not someone that had business with him. "Who is it?" He asked, as he approached. In response, the knock was repeated. "I'm coming, I'm… Sensei!" Rin exclaimed surprised as he opened the door and met Neuhaus. "What's wrong?"

"Take a guess." Neuhaus didn't waste any time to grab Rin by the hair. He tightened his fist around the black locks, making sure it hurt the young half-demon.

At first, Rin was plain shocked. Then he got angry. "What the fuck are you doing? Let me go!" He tried swinging a fist towards his attacker. He was even more shocked to discover that his power dropped to zero instantly, managing only a weak tap. He tried again, and again and again, but all attempts failed. Rin couldn't believe his eyes. He always had quite the strength, no need to mention after his powers awoken. "W-What? Why…?" He stuttered, unable to understand.

Neuhaus barely smirked. "Remember this?" With his free hand, he tugged Rin's right sleeve up, revealing the mark of the Vow. "You can do nothing, and I can do anything." He tugged at Rin's hair even more violently than before, and Rin let out a small yelp. "Drag your feet, demon." And with that, he got him out of his room.

Rin twitched at how the roots of his hair were stinging his scalp. "Wait! Where are you taking me?" He still wasn't scared, but he was very angry. "Answer me!" He demanded, trying to free himself from the man's grip. No such luck. His teacher never responded to his calls, until they reached a part of the academy Rin had never stepped foot in. When they reached a certain door, Neuhaus finally let go of his hair, but grabbed his wrist instead. "I said let me go!" Rin tried to yank his hand away, but to no avail.

"I'm going to make use of our deal, Satan's son." Neuhaus finally spoke as he opened the door and practically tossed Rin in. Rin had no time to take in his surroundings, as he had suddenly found himself in the middle of what he would call a living room. Apparently, this was where his teacher was living. Before he could open his mouth, Neuhaus grabbed him by the collar and guided him further into the apartment, finally throwing him into the bedroom. Rin fell on the carpet right beside the bed. He shot up immediately, baring his fangs. He tried calling forth his flames, but they just wouldn't obey him. Neuhaus raised his eyebrow. "What? You're not going to accept the terms? Of course I should have expected it from a demon… Somehow, you don't seem so eager to offer yourself to me anymore."

Rin breathed heavily in order to restrain himself and prevent him from doing anything stupid. Not that he could do anything whatsoever… It had passed a long time since he took the Vow, this was coming to him too sudden, and his instincts for survival were getting the best of him. "Why now?" He spat. "If that's what you were going to do from the start, what took you so long?"

"My terms of agreement, of course." Neuhaus started circling Rin like a shark preparing to snap at his prey. "That and you've caused quite uproar recently. But now that your brother is gone, I don't risk breaking my pact… Do you even remember the Vow?"

Rin used the opportunity of the small talk to calm himself down. Neuhaus wasn't scaring him. But something inside him told him that he _should_ be afraid. He regained his composure and mustered his courage and seriousness. "What are you going to do with me?" He steadily asked.

"Killing you is not such a good idea." Neuhaus informed him. "I may get in trouble for that by Sir Pheles, maybe even by some circles in the Vatican." He leaned in behind Rin to whisper in his ear: "But don't worry. I'm definitely going to do to you the next worst thing there is. I'll make you regret that fucking damned day you were born, you filthy abomination." Rin gritted his teeth, trying to control himself. Mostly because he knew it wouldn't get him anywhere. Neuhaus leaned at the other side of his head, to whisper at his other ear: "Want to guess what that is?"

"You're going to torture me…" Rin realized. He tried gathering up his power. The way things had progressed, only strong willpower would get him through this. Deep down, he knew he wasn't responsible of any of Satan's evil deeds, but he did wish to help all the people Satan had hurt. Now he didn't know what exactly he was doing, or what he should do. Things just happened in a way that trapped him and he just had to bear with it. He just had to be strong…

"No shit Sherlock." Neuhaus scuffed as he came to stand in front of Rin. "Tell me how."

"I'm not playing that fucking game with you. Whatever it is, do it and get it over with." Rin glared at him. He wouldn't let that bastard toy with him as he pleased, not whenever he could prevent it.

Neuhaus couldn't resist. He laughed. "Oh my… You're such a kid after all." He just couldn't stop laughing at that weird form of demon innocence.

"Kid… Hey! What do you mean?" Rin got irritated at the spot.

"You don't have the slightest idea, do you? What's the worst thing next to murder…" Neuhaus laughter ceased. He ran his fingers on Rin's neck, making him shudder. Rin was sure that he'd grab him by the neck and try to strangle him. Instead, his fingers continued to ran down at his stern, until he got a firm grasp of Rin's necktie. He took it off with a mere, strong pull, and held it in his hands. This action didn't confuse Rin as much as the next one.

When his teacher started unbuttoning his white shirt.

"W-What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing."

"I know, but why does it have to…"

Neuhaus looked at the boy. His face was genuinely perplexed. Not only didn't he understand, he couldn't even imagine what would follow. A pang of guilt shot through him. Maybe he should just stop. Forget about the whole thing. Forget? Forget so easily? Should he forget when the visions of his wife and children when they were tortured and burned to ashes followed him even in his sleep? And now that he had the son of the culprit right in his hands, he should forget? Rage started accumulating inside him all over again. Rin noticed the change of his expression and this time, he started to cringe. He hadn't done anything, so why did his teacher suddenly seem to be so enraged?

Before he could make a move to try to protect himself, Neuhaus tore that white shirt away from his body, turned him around and used his necktie to firmly tie his hands behind his back. Rin didn't resist, he couldn't. But now he was seriously getting scared. He wasn't used to not being able to defend himself or strike back when somebody was coming onto him. Usually, due to his short temper and violent outbursts that originated from his demon nature, he rarely found himself in a totally hopeless situation. When he took that Vow, he had felt sorry for what had happened to Neuhaus and his family, and at the time he thought that he could take away all of his pain by accepting his wrath. Now that the time had come, he had much less courage, because he wasn't the one that decided he should do so at that moment. He tried reminding himself that whatever it was, if it wasn't death, he could take it.

His confusion grew even bigger when Neuhaus tossed him onto the bed, face down, grabbed his legs and started taking off his shoes and his shocks. "What are you doing?" He asked again, he couldn't understand. He had heard about a way of torture called phalanx. You strike with a bat on the soles of the victim. Maybe that was it?

Neuhaus adjusted Rin's body better onto the mattress, and climbed on top of it, straddling him. Rin started catching on what was going on, but this time he chose to refuse to believe it. As his back was facing his teacher, Neuhaus leaned in to place his face exactly next to Rin's. "Let me tell you a story." He whispered in his ear again, and Rin felt hands at the belt of his pants. Pure fear dug his way in. "Remember how I told you my family was burned by your damn father?" The belt was gone, and the older man's hands started working at the buttons. "That's only half part of the story."Buttons were off; he slid his fingers through the fabric supported by the hips. "They were also raped in front of my eyes." With those words and one swift movement, he pulled down both trousers and underwear, leaving Rin naked, for the first time in front of someone else.

Rin tried to grasp what he had just heard, what had just transpired, and what would come to follow. Words stuck at his throat. He felt the other man taking his garments completely off his body, but he couldn't kick his legs to try to stop him, the seal made sure about that. So many things were passing through his mind that he could no longer think. Would he really get raped? How would it feel to get raped? He got dizzy and nauseous. Neuhaus was a guy, _he_ was a guy! Neither was homosexual. Neuhaus was older, much older than him, and on top of everything, he was his teacher! Suddenly all those reasons seemed no longer important. "I-I'm sorry to hear that, but I…" _I have nothing to do with this!_ He inwardly screamed.

Neuhaus flipped him over so that he was lying on his back and his head rested against the pillow. Now they faced each other. He scanned his body with his eyes… eye, whatever, Rin didn't want him to look at him! He felt embarrassed, humiliated, victimized. On his part, Neuhaus couldn't but admire the well-toned body beneath him. And it wasn't just the body. Rin had beautiful black hair, soft skin, alluring blue eyes… and a perfect smile. _Satan's son shouldn't be allowed to smile! _His rage took over once again, and this time, it was crucial. _Smiling when other kids are dead! Satan can't give birth to something this beautiful, that's why his beauty is deceitful! His very existence is a trap, mere trickery! _"…You are perfect for my revenge." He said, and then cupped with his hand Rin's abdomen.

That last act sent such shivers through Rin's spine that he couldn't help but whimper. _Don't touch me! Don't touch me, don't touch me don't… _It felt so intimate… "NO!" He finally screamed. He couldn't just sit there like a whore and open his legs to that man! The hell with the damn Vow! "No! No! Let me go!" He screamed, thrashed and struggled. Neuhaus watched him in amusement, fighting the same futile battle as a fish caught in the net. He placed his hands on Rin's either side and chuckled at his meaningless efforts. "Help… Help, someone!" Rin didn't remember since when he had to feel this desperate. "YUKIO!" He finally screamed on top of his lungs, and then reduced almost to whispering. "Yukio… Help me…"

"He's not here." Neuhaus told him cruelly. "No one is here and nobody will come to save you." He leaned in and kissed Rin's neck almost tenderly, where his artery was, making the half-demon's breath hitch. "'You can do anything you wish with me until you're satisfied'. Your words, Satan's son. Not mine." He continued kissing. "And I'll do something you won't enjoy one bit." He sank his teeth in the skin, but lightly, without tearing it.

Rin turned and hid his face into the pillow, unable to cope. All he had left was plead… "No… no, no, no please!" He closed his eyes and sobbed, as he felt the hand running on his abdomen one again, and then on his thighs. "Please, don't do this to me! Please…"

"Look at me!" Neuhaus grabbed a fistful of Rin's silky black hair and brought his head up towards his, so that they could look each other in the eye. Rin's eyes were scared, shocked, begging. They had that beautiful blue hue… The same blue Satan's flames were when he burned Neuhaus family to crisp. "Look at me when I'm doing this to you, Satan's spawn!"

"Oh… Oh my God no!"

"God?" Neuhaus chuckled. "You think God hears prayers of scum like you?" He grabbed Rin's knees and opened his bare legs widely. Rin whimpered from shame and fear. He had never exposed himself to anyone before, and now there he lay, stark naked and with legs wide open, ready to become an offer to another guy to freely use.

Neuhaus undid his belt and then his zipper. Rin was just staring in terror as his teacher revealed his erected dick in front of him.

"No… It's-it's too big, it can't…"

"Oh it will go in just fine." Neuhaus said as he grabbed Rin's hips and lifted him up to guide his back entrance to his member. "Watch." Then he leant forward and violently buried himself deep into the body of the young boy captured beneath him.

Rin screamed like he had never screamed before. His eyes were instantly filled with tears, and he felt like his brain exploded from pain. So much for worrying about getting raped. His mind erased all thoughts, everything but the pain and the agony it caused. This was pure torture. Soon enough his face was soaked with tears, and still, he kept on screaming. The fact that he knew he couldn't fight back and no one would come to save him just made him throb more from hurt and horror. He could only stare at the lamp on the nightstand, his vision going up and down, up and down, as his body was roughly violated and shoved harshly against the mattress. Body lifted up again so the older man's cock would go in, down for out, in and out, in and out, blood dripping down his thighs, fire licking his insides, it cut him it hurt so much… His screams gradually ceased, he had no strength or pride left. His head fell back on the pillow and Rin just closed his eyes and surrendered to the painful thrusts.

Neuhaus continued raping the boy with all of his anger. He could barely comprehend that Rin's warmth felt amazing against his member. "So tight…" He said, but without really realizing it, just wishing to humiliate Rin more. Rin was warm, soft and deliciously tight indeed, but Neuhaus didn't care. All he cared about was to make Satan's son suffer. Suffer like his loved ones had suffered. He was so indulged in his rage that he didn't understand what he was doing anymore. The boy's legs were wrapped against his waist and yes, they looked beautiful, they felt beautiful, soft skin that was like cream against his hands, and better than anything, Satan's son's face full of tears. The blood had stained the white sheets, underlying dying innocence. _Satan's son is no innocent,_ he reminded himself. _He suffers like he deserves. Satan's son is…_

Suddenly, he came. He gasped at the sudden, amazing feeling. He couldn't remember how long he had to feel this way, not even if it had ever felt better before when having an orgasm. He clutched Rin's body desperately onto his own, in order to lock himself with the boy as he was overruled by the immense pleasure. For fragments of second he wished he'd remain like this forever. Rin screamed one last time at the sensation of the warm liquid going through his entrance. He didn't want to think what that was, he didn't want to believe what had just happened. A man had just… inside him…

Neuhaus stayed a bit longer inside Rin, breathing heavily before pulling out. He had to marvel the boy's body glistening with sweat, his thighs full of blood and sperm. And on top of that all, Rin's whimpers and sobs were reaching his ears like the finest music. "You are a very good fuck, Satan's son." At those words, Rin hid his face in the pillow and sobbed harder, without being able to control it. Neuhaus got up and zipped his pants, making himself decent and composed like all this first started. He wasted no time and picked a gun from a bag on the floor, turning it towards Rin.

Rin heard the characteristic sound of the gun's safety unlocking. He slowly turned and faced his teacher, his face still wet from the tears the terrible rape had caused. The gun was pointing at his head. All Rin could do was stare at him. He had no voice left to plead. He still wanted his life, but that very life wasn't in his hands anymore.

Neuhaus remained unmoving. Just one little push on the trigger and his revenge would be complete. But that boy on the bed… He looked so pathetic and so beautiful. And if he ended it that moment, then what? He still wasn't satisfied. Far from that. If he killed Rin now, he would lose every way he had to take revenge on Satan. But would it be wise to leave his son in the academy, walking around?

He looked at Rin more. Could that weeping boy cause any trouble for real now? He lowered his gun. Rin closed his eyes and sighed inaudibly from relief.

"Don't think it's over. Don't think even for one moment that this is over, Satan's son." He turned away. "When I come back, you're expected to be gone. And that's just ten minutes. Otherwise, we're going to go at it all over again." He walked out of the door like it was nothing, leaving Rin sink into the stained sheets and his own self-loathing.

_Dirty, dirty… This feels so dirty, I'm so dirty! _Rin thought in agony, not being able to shake off the feeling of getting fucked. How to pick up the pieces when everything in you just suddenly shuttered?


	3. Nightmare

**A/N: Wow! I want to say thank you to all of my reviewers, I didn't expect such an intense response, you can't imagine how happy I am! First chapter was short because it was the prologue, chapters will usually have the length of the following one. I divided chapters one and two and posted the second almost immediately, without looking at the first's reviews, so that's kind of why I'm replying now… Gomen ne! Again, thank you all so much! And I see that this story gets alert and favorite quite a lot, so, people who like the story and would want to see the sequence, if you could please leave a review, it would make me very happy and motivated to keep on writing! Again, thank you all so much for reading this! ;) **

Rin clutched his knees against his chest tighter, as he was curled under the sheets. It was Sunday. The sun was shining bright and the light illuminated the room through the window. Yet Rin felt very, very cold. It was late at noon, and though he got almost no sleep last night, he still wouldn't leave the bed.

He couldn't help but thinking what had happened the previous day. After he cried his eyes out, scratched himself clean in the bathroom until he bled and used inhuman strength to manage to reach his bed, now he couldn't come out. He wished the earth would just open up and swallow him. This was a nightmare! It had to be a nightmare, there was no way _it_ had actually happen… There was no way his teacher… His teacher…

His eyes watered up all over again. Scenes were replaying themselves in his head again and there was nothing he could do to stop them. His trousers tossed away on the floor, Neuhaus' big, dark frame above him, the mocking kisses on his neck, his huge dick, the lamp on the nightstand… up and down, up and down…

Rin screamed and tugged at his hair desperately in a moment of pure crisis. If he thought more, he would go insane, but it was all he could think about. He had gotten raped. It was a fact. His teacher had raped him in cold blood. He was even overlooking the fact that he was still alive, it didn't seem like such an appealing option. _No… I have to live. _He suddenly thought. _I have to live to prove that the old man was right about me. I have to live to defeat Satan and shove it up all of those bastards' faces! _He couldn't die… But he was so miserable. He felt too dirty to even think about a woman right now. Rape… rape, rape, rape, he could think nothing else than the feeling of his teacher's dick shoved in him and tearing his skin. He thrashed and wheezed like a wild animal, as if he could just shake the trauma off. That's when he heard knocking on the door.

He froze. The last time he heard that sound was when…

He hid himself deeper under the sheets, trembling. _Go away… Go away, go away, whoever you are. _The knocking was repeated. Rin whimpered in fear. He felt like the protagonist in one of those horror movies, hiding while the monster comes to get you, trying to get through the door. Wasn't that the case, really?

The knocking stopped. Rin listened carefully to footsteps fading away. Carefully, he pushed the sheets away and got up, trying not to make any noise. Moving towards his drawer, he opened it and picked up a knife he had bought for cooking but hadn't had the time to take to the kitchen. Thankfully, he reminded himself. He couldn't but regain his calm, in order to get through this. He stood up and leaned with his back against the wall, next to the door, waiting.

The door crashed open with a violent kick. Rin didn't waste any time and he attacked, but his hand was seized before he knew it. "Nice try, demon." Rin hissed and growled. Neuhaus twisted the boy's hand until Rin cried out and dropped the knife. But Neuhaus didn't stop there. He tightened his grip and twisted Rin's hand more, until he heard a crack. Rin screamed and fell on his knees from the pain. "Don't worry. It will have healed itself in no time. Thanks to your self-healing demonic powers, of course." The older man sneered at him. "Isn't that how you managed to get out of my room in ten minutes, as I told you yesterday?" He grabbed the boy by the hair, as he had done before. "I'm taking it that you no longer hurt down there."

"FUCK YOU!" Rin shot up and tried to bite him, but to no avail. He felt so infuriated he momentarily forgot his fear. Even if he couldn't bring his flames forth anymore, he felt like burning from rage.

"Yes, I'm planning to fuck you." Neuhaus simply replied and started dragging Rin towards his bed. Rin froze.

"A-Again…?" He stuttered. "B-but… why again?"

"Didn't I tell you?" Neuhaus swung him around to face him. "Starting yesterday, this is your everyday."

Rin eyes widened in horrifying realization. Before realizing it, they were next to his bed. Neuhaus tried to toss him on, but Rin clutched at his captor's hand desperately, the one that held him by the hair. "No… No, no, please, listen to me!" Neuhaus stopped. It would be fun to hear the boy through. "You aren't some perverted old man that goes after boys to fuck them and can't control himself. I can talk to you, you can understand me!" Rin swallowed hard before he continued: "Please… Not on my bed. That's all I'm asking for." He looked up at his teacher, begging him with his eyes. "Please, please understand!"

Neuhaus was surprised. It wasn't what he expected to hear. Should he do him this favor? It wasn't such a big deal… Doing a favor to Satan's son? _Yeah, of course_! He thought, full of sarcasm. "I have an idea. Why don't you try and say that to someone who actually gives a damn." And he cruelly pushed Rin onto his bed, face down, starting to take off his shirt and trousers.

Rin closed his eyes and tried to control the tears that had started surfacing. Remembering how much it had hurt the day before, he shivered. His hands weren't tied like then, but what was the point. Why? Why wouldn't he listen to the tiniest plead Rin could have made? Why did he feel the need to hurt him so much? Rin hadn't done anything! And now he was left naked and defenseless all over again…

"You know what's good about your demonic body?" Neuhaus said as he mounted Rin, slid a hand around his waist and lifted him up, so that he was on his knees. "Usually, in that kind of sex, the bottom's ass is torn, making him unable to have sex for weeks after the first time. And after many times of sexual encounter, he grows loose and is not as tight back there as before. But you are different." He unzipped his pants. Rin didn't have to look to know what was going on. "You heal yourself automatically right after we finish, and you tighten back up. You might not hurt afterwards, but you hurt very much during sex, and you'll never stop hurting no matter how many times we do it." He placed a kiss on Rin's spine. "That's a demon for you."

Rin turned and looked at him. His blue eyes were full of pain, detest and… pity? Neuhaus didn't like that. "The only demon here," Rin whispered, "is you."

That was it. _Stupid little brat_! Neuhaus felt like beating him up to death. Instead, he grabbed his hips and shoved his cock into the boy as more harshly as he could. Blood started coming out just from the second thrust. "How do you like it doggy style, Satan's son?" He spat, grabbing Rin by the hair once again, making him stand in all fours. If only he had stopped to think about it, he'd realize how much he liked the feeling of Rin's black locks against his fingers. But he was too busy causing Rin pain to understand that.

Rin let his tears freely roam down his cheeks. If he could preserve his dignity… Impossible. His instincts told him to do anything to stop the pain. "It hurts…" He managed to choke out, but then it came out in cries. "It hurts, it hurts! Please, it hurts so much!" He cried out, struggling weakly. "Please, please! …I haven't done anything wrong!" It was so unfair, he couldn't breathe! "I haven't done anything wrong…" He sobbed, he was in so much pain… He stopped yelling, and let himself fall on the bed, feeling completely lonely and abandoned. He wanted to pass out so badly, but his body wouldn't obey him anymore.

Neuhaus felt some guilt but threw it aside. He felt just too amazing to stop. Rin's inner walls were clutching desperately around his member in a frenzied try of preventing it from going in, only to result into pleasuring him more. Blood was making moving easier, Rin's skin was clean and unmarred, he smelled terrifically, his muscles were tensing up through his whole body when accepting him in… What could possibly be better than this? He fell on Rin with all of his weight, closed his eye and buried his face inside his hair, breathing deeply, while wrapping both of his arms tightly around Rin's waist. He was nearing climax and it was a feeling beyond his imagination. He never thought he would feel like this again at his age. Had he ever, though his entire life? This was something new, extraordinary… demonic. He opened his eye slowly. That was right, demonic. He was close, so close… "Oh God!" He couldn't but yell loudly when he came, releasing his seed into Rin. Rin's elbows tottered, he couldn't support both of their weights anymore, and they fell down on the mattress.

"Hurts…" He heard Rin whispering soullessly. Slowly, he got up and pulled himself out of the tortured body. He stayed for a bit to admire how the blood had painted the thighs and the sheets red, and how the sperm was dripping down from Rin's hole to his legs. Rin wanted to tell him not to look, but judging from short experience, it would cause the opposite result. From now on, it would be better for him if he just shut up.

Neuhaus got out of the bed and zipped up his pants. He looked at Rin some more, who had turned his head from the other side. Sure, rape wasn't the best thing in the world to do to someone, but Neuhaus shouldn't feel guilty, that was Satan's son. He_ shouldn't_ feel guilty! He would keep this up for as long as he could! …Still, he reached his hand towards Rin without realizing it, in order to caress his hair, a small act of consolation. But his hand froze some inches away. He didn't have that right. He was the one who did it, how could he dare try to console Rin? He pulled his hand away, and got out of the room. _It's Satan's son. Satan's son! He doesn't deserve anyone's sympathy!_ He kept inwardly repeating.

Rin stayed there, breathing in the sheets. The same sheets he had found shelter under just some minutes ago. No one had come to save him this time either. Nowhere was safe. His butt was stinging, and his wrist still throbbed. His face was red and wet, and he didn't even want to look at what state his body was in. His 'everyday'? He would die. What should he do, tell someone? Who would believe him? And if he did tell anyone, it would be him who would drag other people in this, giving Neuhaus the right to attack them. Even worse, because his wounds were closing, whoever doctor would examine him would find traces of sperm but not of rape, and would lead him to conclude that the sex was consensual. Rin felt so helpless, so pathetic. On top of everything, he felt alone. He couldn't let other people know what happened to him, his outmost disgrace. Maybe he should tell Shura… But knowing her, that would cause a massacre. He knew that even if Yukio were there, he would probably keep this a secret from him too.

Tomorrow… He had school tomorrow. But there was no way he could face anyone. He hadn't done his homework, but okay, what was new, that was always the last thing on his mind, consider now. He would call sick and sit here… Waiting to get fucked. He banged his fist on the mattress. No, he couldn't just sit here! He wouldn't give that bastard the satisfaction of robbing him away of his life! …But how to face his friends? The last thing he wanted was to attract any unnecessary attention, and Bon and Izumo weren't stupid. They would understand at the spot that something was very wrong about him. He couldn't stand the thought of their prying eyes, scanning him all over for reactions. He couldn't stand the thought of anyone's prying eyes! He would just call tomorrow sick so he'd have an excuse of looking like shit for the rest of the week… month…didn't know how long.

How did he trap himself like this? He knew very well that, even if it wasn't his fault or responsibility, Neuhaus was constantly hurting as much as Rin did when raped, and for many years. He knew his teacher wasn't a bad person, but a tortured person. His kids and wife raped and killed in front of his eyes by Satan… that would be enough to make someone go crazy… but he wasn't crazy. He was strong, but got swept away by his desire for revenge. Rin's stomach burned at the thought of how many lives Satan had destroyed. How many people like Neuhaus and his family existed out there? Maybe Neuhaus was right… maybe Satan's son didn't have a place in this world.

The next day, Shura walked into the class carefree as usual. "Okay everyone, I'm filling in for Okumura sensei! Sit down and… Do what you usually do."

Everyone in class sweat-dropped. Shura's I-don't-give-a-damn-in-the-world-unless-a-building-is-demolishing-right-next-to-me attitude was proverbial.

"Excuse me, sensei?" Izumo raised her hand. "For how long will Okumura sensei be gone?"

"Ah, I don't know that." She stated. "Probably a month or so, unless some hungry demon makes breakfast out of him." She grinned.

_I'm not asking this teacher anything ever again!_ Izumo thought about Shura and her bad taste of jokes. All of those stupid teachers were just delaying her from becoming a real exorcist!

The class passed some minutes in silence, reading their textbooks – except for Shima who was secretly reading porn - until Shiemi shot up. "Ah!" She exclaimed, and everyone turned to look at her. "Rin isn't here!"

"Now that you mention it, he's rather late to make his usual entrance; throwing himself in and apologizing that he overslept." Bon looked at the clock. "Where is that idiot?"

"Ah. He sent me a note saying he was sick." Shura informed them casually. "He says he should be fine by tomorrow." _So let's cut his training some slack today. I need to go shopping! _She inwardly clapped her hands in anticipation of spending lots of money.

"Sick? When did he get sick?" Shima finally looked up from his porn. That was weird. Could Satan's son ever get sick?

"It's not the season flu waits around the corner either." Konekomaru wondered aloud. He worried about Rin. Rin was a very kind person and Konekomaru liked him a lot, now that he got over being afraid of him.

"Um… um… When someone gets sick, you make… soup, you make soup!" Shiemi finally got it, being happy she remembered it. "Alright! After school I'll make some soup and give it to him!" She threw her fist up, overruled by missionary zeal. She was glad she could make herself useful and help Rin.

_Okumura will have probably cooked a much better tasting soup for himself than Moriyama could ever achieve._ Bon thought and sighed, but he never said it out loud. When a girl does something like that for a boy, you must be the worst possible creature on earth to crush her feelings by being realistic.

When school was over and Shiemi finally got to finish cooking, destroying half of the kitchen, it was already early afternoon. "Oh, I'm late, that's trouble!" She said to herself as she climbed the stairs to get into Rin's room. She stopped to catch her breath in front of his door. "Rin! Rin's it's me, Shiemi! Can I come in?" She knocked. After some moments, she heard a weak 'yes', and she opened the door.

She found Rin covered with the sheets up to his head. In fact, she could only see the black top of his hair. "Shiemi?" He asked in a low voice. "…Is anyone with you?"

"Eh? No, I came alone. I heard you were sick and I brought you some soup. That's what they do when someone is sick… what, isn't it?" She suddenly got worried she messed up.

Rin laughed a bit. "No, it is… thank you, Shiemi." He really thanked her. From the bottom of his heart.

"I'm happy." Shiemi smiled sweetly, and left the soup on the desk. "Um… do you want me to stay here… to keep you some company? …Or are you tired?" She was afraid she was being insensitive.

Rin's words choked in his neck. He wanted so much to tell her, beg her to stay beside him. But though he had cleaned the sheets, cleaned himself and put clean clothes on, he still felt like he would defile her. He couldn't even raise his head and look her in the eyes. "Shiemi, I'm not feeling so well… But thank you!" He added hurryingly. "Really, really thank you…" He whispered.

"Okay! Get better soon, Rin!" Shiemi bowed and left. Rin didn't even move.

It was night when Neuhaus walked in. He spotted Rin under the covers, walked in and tugged the sheet off of him. He was lying at the side, his back turned towards the older man. His eyes were open and staring blankly. "What are you doing there?"

Rin moved only his eyes to look at his teacher. "Waiting for you. What else?"

"You became obedient so soon, demon?" Neuhaus chuckled. That's why he was so surprised and slightly shocked when Rin shot up, jumped off the bed and grabbed him by the collar.

"It's not '_demon'_!" He screamed at Neuhaus' face. "Not 'demon', not 'Satan's son', 'spawn', 'offspring', whatever the _fuck _you may call it! It's_ Okumura Rin_!" He was so angry, he lost himself. He was glaring right into Neuhaus' eyes with all of his might. "I'm not some mistake nature randomly did! I'm Fujimoto Shirou's son, Yukio's older brother, Shura's pupil, and the one who's going to take down Satan and end all the misery he's caused! I'm OKUMURA RIN!" He was left breathless.

Neuhaus watched his outburst apathetically. "So, Rin it is." He said, and punched the boy in the stomach. Rin coughed painfully and fell down at his knees, clutching his body desperately. Neuhaus examined him with his eye. He had big black circles under his eyes, he had probably spent both of the nights after their first encounter sleepless. He looked weaker too. He spotted a plate with a soup upon the desk, still full. Probably one of his friends brought it, but he didn't eat anything. Possibly he had three days to put something in his mouth… Put something in his mouth… "Look here." He grabbed him by the hair, as he loved to do, and made him look up to him. "Suck me off." He started undoing his pants.

"No…" Rin shook his head weakly, but he knew it was hopeless. Gods, wasn't just shoving his dick up his ass enough, now he wanted it up his mouth? He felt like throwing up in the mere idea. He generally felt like shit, and the world around had started to spin.

Neuhaus knew that the boy wouldn't be able to handle much this time, not at the state he was in. If he passed out, there would be no fun. "It won't be any more this time. If you do that well, you're free for tonight." He told him, trying to reassure him.

"I… I don't believe you…" Rin managed.

"You don't have much of a choice, do you?" He brought his member near Rin's lips. Rin tried to turn his head around, but the grip on his hair was too strong. "Come on. Do it!"

Rin had already given in to him. He opened his mouth hesitantly and unwillingly. He didn't want to know what _that_ tasted like. Sadly, he was one second away from finding out. He felt it filling him mouth and a feeling of nausea took over. He moaned against it in protest, he couldn't bite it. Then it started going in and out… Gag reflex was strong, but Rin didn't want to die yet, so he fought it back. The taste was salty and… and it was something no boy should ever taste.

"Use your tongue." He heard Neuhaus saying to him. He obeyed. But soon he wasn't able to control anything, as the older man picked up the pace, grabbed Rin's face from both sides and pumped it up and down his member. Tears started streaming down his face once again. _Rin has a beautiful face. _Neuhaus couldn't help but think in his pleasured turmoil. He came. "Swallow it all, swallow it!" He ordered, between his gasps at the release. Rin obeyed, with more tears making their way down his cheeks. It was bitter, sour… It was man's sperm. When he finished, he fell on the floor, exhausted and humiliated.

Neuhaus breathed heavily for some minutes, and then picked Rin up from the floor, the same way as before. "Up on your knees. Do it again!"

"Oh please, enough anymore!" Rin cried out. "Enough…"

"One last time, then it's over." Neuhaus informed him. "The better you do it, the sooner I'll finish and the sooner you'll be free… for tonight, that is."

Rin felt empty. He couldn't believe that it was possible to hate himself that much. Yet, he gathered his courage for one final time and took Neuhaus' length in his mouth all over again. After pumping his head up and down some more, he used his tongue to lick the tip, and then he ran it down the flesh. A sudden moan and then a curse from above told him he did something right. He took the whole thing in his mouth again with more confidence and started working on it more delicately.

"Enough, pull out!" Neuhaus grabbed his hair and pulled him away. Before Rin could wonder why, he felt warm liquid being splattered all over his face. So that's what he wanted… To see his face full of his seed… Neuhaus let him and he fell on the floor again.

_Okay, that was enough for today…_ Neuhaus buttoned himself up and turned to leave, when Rin let out a scream like a wounded animal, still curled on the floor. Neuhaus watched him as he ran his nails down his face, leaving deep red lines, as if he was trying to peel the skin off. The lines were healed automatically, but Rin did it again, along with screaming. _Demon's actions… _He turned to leave. But he could hear Rin, scratching at his skin like trying to be left without a face. He wasn't paying any attention to the older man anymore.

He couldn't stand it. He turned and got near Rin. The boy looked up at him, at the edge of insanity. Neuhaus kneeled next to him. Then he took a silky piece of clothe out of his pocket and used it to gently wipe Rin's face clean from the sperm and blood. "Don't do that." He told him, as Rin was watching him shocked. "It's a waste." After he finished cleaning him, he cupped his cheek and ran his thumb on it.

Rin just stared at him, confused, thankful and disbelieving. Neuhaus' hand was so warm… He loved the way it was caressing his skin. Rin placed his own hand on it, and his eyes watered up again, not from pain, but from gratitude, a weird form of happiness. This was the first sign of sympathy Neuhaus had ever showed him. But he didn't cry. He clutched at that hand, like it was the only thing he had left. He understood very well that the good side of his teacher was the only thing that could save him from this nightmare. And he wanted to believe in that.

Neuhaus saw that Rin had calmed down a bit. He took his hand away and stood up. "Eat that soup." He told Rin before he closed the door behind him. "One of your friends must have brought it. Don't disappoint them." Then he left, leaving Rin looking at the door, and taking a very important decision. No matter what happened, he would remain strong.


	4. Affection

**Α****/****Ν****: Again, thank you all so much for your lovely reviews! Somebody mentioned that what's missing from this fic is Rin's tail… I purposely didn't mention it until now, but you're right, I can't keep up ignoring important characteristics. So I'll try to fix that up now! Someone else requested longer sex scenes, he he, I got you! ;) And to answer to someone else, no, this fic isn't going to have any mpreg in. If you like this story or if something is bothering you and you have some flaw to point out, like the above, don't hesitate to review me. I welcome constructive criticism, but flaming **_**will **_**be a waste of time. From now on, I'm afraid updates won't be coming out daily, but I'll do my best to keep updating every two or three days. Anyways, see you soon! ;) **

Rin walked into the class five minutes before it would start. Everybody else was already inside, chatting and teasing each other. Rin tried to smile and greet them, but his lips just wouldn't form the crook. Until then, he could have never imagined that smiling would be so difficult. He couldn't do it, so he stopped trying.

"Hey, Okumura!" Bon waved to him. "Where have you been?"

"Just… being a little under the weather, that's all." Rin replied and sat on his desk, leaving his bag on the side. All of his classmates looked at each other, worried. Rin seemed unbelievably worn out. And above everything, depressed.

"Okumura-kun! …What happened to you? Do you feel bad?" Konekomaru approached him. "You look so pale…"

"Don't worry Konekomaru. It was just…" Last night's memories struck him. "…something I ate." He placed his elbow on the desk and supported his head by placing his hand on his forehead, his bangs covering his eyes. He had to stay calm.

"Rin!" Shiemi ran towards him. "Are you okay now? Does your stomach feel fine?"

Rin tried his best to smile, once again. Shiemi deserved a smile. He didn't know how much of it succeeded. "Yeah… Thanks to you, Shiemi. Thank you very much for the soup." Shiemi's whole face lit up, and that was enough for Rin.

Kamiki grunted, her hands on her hips, ready to give a lecture. "Jeez, you should take better care of yourself! Look at you, you are like a train ran you over!"

"See, I told you it wasn't a cold, idiots never catch one." Bon told to Shima, but in reality waiting for Rin usual reaction. Rin didn't move an inch. He didn't get angry, he didn't start yelling or throwing back sarcastic comments, all in all he didn't start a fight as he always used to.

Shima looked at Bon disapprovingly. "You are the definition of insensitivity by far." Bon had the expression of someone suddenly stricken by lightning.

"What? I didn't mean… I… Okumura say something!"

But Rin never spoke. Shura walked into the class as carefree as ever. "Good morning everyone! Today we're going to do what we did yesterday! Take your seats!" Everyone obeyed. Bon sit down, but he couldn't tear his eyes off of Rin. Not in the first hour, or the rest of the day either. Rin's expression and attitude didn't change in any of the other classes, not even in Neuhaus' class or the one of that other, superlative professor's class. Rin's eyes were empty, his skin was indeed paler than usual, and he seemed totally indifferent towards his professors and his surroundings in generally. It was like he had just shut himself off. The others thought it was simply the sickness he had just gone through, but Bon didn't have a good feeling about this. At the end of the class, Bon waved at Shima and Konekomaru to go on without him and waited until only Rin and he were left in class.

He approached him, as Rin was sitting on his desk, putting his books back in his bag. "Okumura." He called at him. Rin looked up, waiting. Bon sighed. "Listen, if you don't feel so well, maybe you should just sit in your room another day."

"No, I'm actually feeling better now…" He responded. Being outside of the room, seeing other people, did soothe him a bit. Seeing Neuhaus in the class had terrified him for a moment, it was the first time he saw him in public after… that, but probably not as much as it would have if he had showed up on Monday. He placed his hand on his cheek for a brief moment, but then shrugged it off.

Then he felt a hand on his arm. Bon had placed his hand around Rin's back, holding him. "Rin." The half-demon turned up and looked at him. His friend seemed genuinely worried. "Don't push yourself too hard."

Rin gulped. For one brief moment, he longed desperately to tell Bon everything, cry in his arms, beg him to help him. But that moment passed. "What are you two doing here?" A deep voice sounded behind them, startling them. They both turned, to face Neuhaus at the door. Who didn't miss where Bon's hand were. What was that? Neuhaus knew it probably didn't mean anything sexual or akin, but he really didn't like the idea of it being there. The only one who was allowed to touch Rin was him! Touch him and hurt him, leaving him helpless and unprotected. Make it so that Rin would clearly get it and wouldn't try to seek comfort in other arms. He narrowed his eye. "Classes are already over. Go to your dorms." He'd later have to make sure of Rin's acts. He had an idea on how to start…

"Ah, yes, sensei." Bon stepped away from Rin, who needed inhuman self control not to grab him and hold him there to protect him. "Okumura, see you tomorrow." Rin watched him go away, without telling anything. He had something much crueler to face.

Neuhaus approached him with slow steps. "Aren't you friendly with him." He observed.

"Even the half-demon me…" Rin shrugged and finished tidying up his desk. "His parents were killed by Satan."

"That's not surprising. Almost everyone who comes to become an exorcist has to settle the score with him. What are you implying?" Neuhaus chuckled. "That he forgave you?"

"He had nothing to forgive me for." Rin stood up and hanged his bag over his shoulder. "We're friends. It doesn't matter to him who my father is or what he's done."

"How noble!" Neuhaus sneered and neared Rin, until he was standing right in front of him. He used his thumb and index finger to grab Rin's chin gently and lift his head to look at him in the eye. "If only everyone would be so noble, huh?" He whispered to him.

Rin just stared at him for some moments. It was strange that he wasn't afraid. It was strange that he could talk so calmly and so freely. He now felt more comfortable talking to Neuhaus than to anyone from his friends, for _it_, was their secret. They both knew what words were left unsaid. "When should I come to you?" He asked, just to shock him a bit.

Neuhaus withdrew his hand. "Nine sharp. If not, _I_'ll come to _you_." Then he turned and left. _Cunning demon! I'll make you feel so ashamed of yourself that you won't be able to look anyone in the eye ever again!_ He thought viciously, as he disappeared from Rin's sight. Only for the time being.

And Rin did as told. At nine o' clock he found himself outside the door of Neuhaus' place. He raised his hand to knock, but the door opened before he could manage to do so. Neuhaus nodded at him to come in, and Rin stepped forward without a word. He looked around in the living room. Two couches in green colors, a wooden coffee table, a plasma TV, then the corridors leading to the kitchen, the bathroom and the bedroom. It wasn't huge or luxurious, but it was comfortable and very decent. "Do all the teachers have those kinds of apartments in the academy?" Rin's curiosity got the best of him.

"Don't pretend like you care." Neuhaus pushed him towards the bedroom. "Move it. You're not here to get decoration advice."

"I'll at least decorate your bed for tonight." Rin told him bitterly, and Neuhaus gave him an even more violent push. Rin got in the bedroom rather reluctantly. His eyes scanned the bed. It was mahogany and modern, just like the closet across the room. The sheets were deep red… Further in there was a desk full of paperwork.

Neuhaus locked the door behind them, and then he came and stood in front of Rin. "Strip." He told him.

Rin looked up at him. "No." He answered steadily. "I came here, but that doesn't make me your whore. If you want something, take it by yourself. This isn't consensual."

"Fine… Rin." Neuhaus replied, and then he grabbed him by the shirt and tore it open with one pull.

"HEY!" Rin protested, as the buttons flew to every possible direction. "How many shirts do you think I have? You messed up all the others and now tore this!"

Neuhaus couldn't but chuckle. "It's just buttons. Sew them back on." He told the irritated boy, as he got his hands working on undoing his belt, in order to get him completely naked. There were many forms that someone could deal with his fear, but he had to say that Rin's was quite original.

Rin looked at him incredulously. "You're kidding! Just because I cook, that doesn't mean I'm familiar with a housewife's entire routine! I can't sew!"

"Well, sucks to be you then."

"Yeah. That's the only reason that sucks to be me!" Sarcasm was dripping heavy from Rin's voice. But sarcasm was soon turned into a loud and shocked yelp when Neuhaus kneeled down without any warning, opened Rin's front side of pants and took his member in his mouth. Rin was so taken aback that he fell behind, his butt meeting straight down the floor and his penis now free from his professor's mouth. "What are you _doing_?" His eyes were as wide as saucers. He instinctively covered his privates with his hand. Neuhaus rolled his eyes.

"Haven't you gotten tired of that question? What does it look like I'm doing, I'm sucking you off." He informed him. "You did a good job so far, you deserve a reward." He reached his hand and grabbed Rin's ankle, dragging him towards him, both of them being on the floor. Of course, that was half part of the reason. What Neuhaus really wanted was to make Rin enjoy the violation against his will. He wouldn't stop to the body. He wanted to rape Rin's soul, everything of him! Grab hold of every inch of Satan's son, own him!

"What? Oh no, thank you, I don't think so!" Rin tried to scram up in order to escape, but Neuhaus grabbed his tail and tugged him back down. Rin yelped painfully.

"Does it hurt?" Neuhaus smiled wolfishly as he captured Rin in his arms once again. His right arm was wrapped around Rin's waist, while the left was tugging at Rin's tail to tease him. Rin hurt in every tug, but if he did admit it, he knew his tail wouldn't find peace until this was over.

"Not that much." He answered, but unfortunately for him, he couldn't hide the pained grimaces that accompanied the tugs.

Neuhaus smirked, and then he gave a particularly strong pull at it. Rin almost screamed from the intense pain. "Liar." He told him next to his ear. Then he kissed the back of Rin's neck and pulled down his already undone trousers. When Rin was left totally naked, he grabbed him, got up and tossed him onto the bed.

Rin closed his eyes tightly, turned his head away and braced himself for the pain he was sure it would follow. He felt Neuhaus' hands opening his legs widely. He gulped and waited, praying it would be over soon. He felt the scabrous fingers going up and down the sensitive flesh of his thighs, like trying to soothe him, but he knew very well that this wasn't the case. That's why when he felt wetness and warmth surrounding his member, he yelped again and looked down. His teacher was giving him a blowjob like he had tried to do before. "What are you doing?" Rin panicked, feeling himself getting hard and aroused. "Stop doing this!" He placed his hand on Neuhaus' head, trying to push it away, but of course he didn't have that strength. If he enjoyed himself during this, he would die from shame on the spot.

Neuhaus slapped Rin's hand away and got focused on his work. At the start, he didn't feel exactly thrilled about giving another guy a blowjob either, but Rin's tortured and flushed expression was one hundred per cent worth it. He licked, pumped his head up and down and sucked, until Rin's body was writhing from pleasure beneath him. He held him down by the hips and continued even faster. He could feel Rin arching his back, moving his limbs on the mattress desperately begging for release, but he still wouldn't moan. He looked up and saw that Rin, in order not to moan, had bitten his own forearm to silence himself. The blood was trickling down until the elbow.

He stopped and removed his mouth from the boy's member. Then he moved up, until his face was over Rin's. "Rin." He told him, and gently held his injured arm. "Rin, come on. Let it go." He slightly pulled, but it was like Rin had locked his teeth on it. "It's okay. You can let it go." He repeated, and pulled a bit stronger. "Come on Rin…" Yes, he felt slightly sorry for him. Neuhaus knew very well what he was doing, and he wasn't regretting it, but when it came down to it… the sight of blood… such a pitiful view, right then… And yet, to his eyes, Rin was still beautiful. Why?

Rin finally let his arm free. It fell to the side like an inanimate object. At that moment Neuhaus noticed more clearly Rin's differences with the rest of the people, the ones that were defining him as a demon. Slightly more sharp-shaped canines, a bit of vaguely pointed ears, and his long, black tail. Those differences always reassured him that he was doing that awful thing to someone who wasn't human, so he didn't have anything to feel guilty about. But yet, he couldn't ignore the fact that, as Rin was half-demon, he was half-human too.

"Why are you so fixated upon not moaning?" He asked him. "What do you have to lose if you do?"

Rin turned and looked at him with blurry eyes. "My dignity, my decency, my self-respect." He replied in a worn out voice. "I can't lose that! Especially now…" He concluded, and let his head fall to the side again.

Neuhaus took a deep breath to start explaining: "Rin, it's okay if you feel good when someone sucks you off. Nobody will judge you for that. No matter who does it, it's still warm and wet around your member, and that's specifically what causes it to harden." What was he doing? What the fuck was he doing? Just now, wasn't his intention to humiliate the kid? Why the fuck was those words leaving his mouth? Why didn't he feel so angry… "Feeling good now doesn't mean that you are sick and you enjoy getting raped. It's normal to feel good." He moved backwards, to get back at what he was doing. "Calm down, okay?" And he took him in his mouth again, convincing himself that he just needed to say the words so he could continue more easily.

Rin couldn't help it. He needed those words. He moaned. As his professor continued, he moaned louder. He arched his back. It was good, it was really good, it was the first time someone was doing something like this to him and it felt amazing. "N-Neuhaus…" He said before he could stop himself. The pleasure was immense, excitingly unfamiliar. He thought he could go insane. "S-sensei… sensei… I… I can't… I'm…" He couldn't help it. Then he screamed, tensed and thrust his hips up, further into his teacher's mouth, releasing. He swallowed hungrily the boy's juices. Rin breathed heavily, his chest going up and down, trying to come to terms with the new experience he had just met. It was breathtaking.

Neuhaus got up and wiped his mouth with his hand. He marveled Rin's body and his pleasured, dazed face, with pink flushed cheeks. His own dick was throbbing, itching to get in that tight body again. That's when he realized he didn't want to make Rin scream just from pain, but from pleasure as well. _No._ He shook his head and reminded himself. _Not now, at the very least. He's a demon; I didn't start this to pleasure him. _Although it would be… exciting… to degrade him, that was it. What else could it be? No, that was it. "Enjoyed it? Now it's my turn." He pushed his legs open even wider and revealed his own member.

Rin trembled when he saw it. He didn't exactly have the best of memories with it. "Please… Don't hurt me!" He let out, when Neuhaus leaned onto him, between his legs. He grabbed both of Rin's wrists and pinned them down, next to either side of Rin's head, so their faces would be right across each other. "Don't hurt me, don't…" Neuhaus watched Rin's expression when he slowly but painfully forced his way into. Rin shut his eyes tightly, and let out a small scream, shaking his head desperately around. It still hurt so much… How was he supposed to go through this every night? And then show up in front of other people, pretending nothing happened… Neuhaus picked up the pace, so Rin's screams became more short-lived but more intent too. One with each thrust. Soon, he was gasping for air and begging God for it to be over, he couldn't handle it anymore. _Please… Please God, I haven't done anything, please, let it be over soon! _He couldn't even cry, his tears had dried up. _I haven't done anything… _

Still, no matter the pain, the warmth of the other man above his body was mesmerizing. He kind of liked this… this feeling of completely belonging to someone, of being embraced passionately even if it hurt, of being the most important person there was for him at that given moment, of no one else mattering in the entire world. He felt strangely significant. Neuhaus, on the other hand, knew that already too well. Sex felt so good because Rin was everything he had in the world now. His object for revenge, his demon to tame, his person to deal with. Neuhaus was left alone, ever since his family was eradicated. Friends, colleagues, other women, never mattered to him. He kept on going until he could take revenge on Satan, and here it was, right into his hands. He looked at the black tattoo on Rin's arm, the Vow that bound them together. Rin was his.

_He's mine!_ He thought possessively, and with that, he came into the boy. He let out a pleasured moan, while Rin one final, abdicated, tired scream. A man coming inside him, this wasn't supposed to happen, he wasn't made to be used this way… Neuhaus pulled out and then fell on Rin, his head against Rin's chest, breathing heavily. No matter how many times they would do it, it remained amazing. He wanted Rin so badly… When he'd get a bit more used to this, they would do it more than once in one night. Neuhaus' revenge on Satan would be to take his son. Take him in every possible way.

It took a bit for him to calm down. It felt nice and comfortable, over Rin's smooth body. As he relaxed onto him, his attention was draught by the sound of Rin's beating heart. It was a steady, deep, hollow beat. If that beating stopped, Rin would no longer be warm, he would never again speak to him, he'd never fight again. His body would just rot away. _Maybe someday I'll have to make that happen. _Neuhaus realized. Someday soon, he'd have to take Rin's life. But that beating… It was like every other human's. Rin had a heart, beating in the same way as his. He had feelings…

Suddenly, he felt fingers running through his black hair. It surprised him so much that it almost shocked him. Rin was caressing his head carefully and tenderly, like he was the one who needed soothing! He looked up to see Rin's blue eyes full of worry and sadness. _Who told you that it was alright for you to do as you-_

Apparently, his expression revealed his simultaneous thought, for Rin pulled his hand away like something burned it and his eyes were filled with terror. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" He tried apologizing instantly. He panicked at the thought of what would follow. What the fuck struck him and he felt like doing that stupid gesture? Now he would…

"No… it's okay."

_Huh? _Rin watched incredulously as his teacher lowered his head to place it on his chest once again, above his heart. So… He wouldn't mind it? Rin's heartbeat returned back to normal. That kind of situation… wasn't so bad. He placed his hand on Neuhaus' head like before. He knew very well that Neuhaus would never, ever accept him. No matter how badly Rin struggled, he couldn't change what he was: Satan's son. He couldn't do anything about the fact that he was half-demon, he had blue flames, inhuman strength, a similar sword and a violent, short temper. The only thing he could do, was proving to Neuhaus with his actions that he wasn't a demon in heart. He could say that to him all day long and still it wouldn't have any effect. But of he showed him that he wasn't lying or planning something else behind the scenes, then maybe, just maybe…

Rin had to become a perfect exorcist. He had to take school seriously, his training too. He had to stop goofing around. He had to mature, be someone reliable, and the chance to prove himself would come. Until then… Until then he would continue to accept his teacher's anger. He caressed him again. _If only I could take your pain away… _That's how he felt when he first took that Vow too.

Neuhaus was very much confused. _Demons can't show genuine affection, so why…? _He couldn't contemplate about that now. Slowly, he got up without saying a word and zipped his pants. Rin knew what that meant. He stayed as he was for some moments, looking at the ceiling, and then he got up too, starting to get dressed. Funny, all that ordeal and he hadn't cried, but _now_ that it was over, he felt like doing so. Even so, he controlled himself. He didn't have the courage to comment on his torn shirt anymore, so he just put it on and clutched both side of the fabric in his hands to hold it close and cover himself. Neuhaus had his back faced towards him, he wouldn't even look at him.

"Um…" Rin approached him and started saying. "Sensei…" He had to know.

"What is it?" The answer came short. He didn't even move in acknowledgement.

"Are you happy doing this to me?"

Neuhaus left like stabbed in the heart. _Cursed demon! _They both knew the answer to that question, but if Rin wanted it out loud, very well, he'd give it to him. He slowly turned to face him, severe and composed. "I saw Satan torturing with the worst way and then burning my family to ashes. I lost them forever. I know that doing the same thing and taking revenge won't bring them back…" He leaned to near Rin's face and look in his eyes, "but it _does_ make me feel better!" he spat at him cruelly.

Rin's eyes widened for a moment, and then he lowered his gaze in understanding. "I see. I just wanted to know why I took the Vow for." He stated sadly, and then walked past him, over the door. This rape he was forced to undergo wasn't making Neuhaus any happier nor was it erasing any of his pain. And it would never do so. It just granted him momentarily relief. "Goodnight sensei." He wanted out of there.

"Rin!" Neuhaus grabbed him by the wrist. He didn't want Rin to walk away this depressed. Though he didn't know why, and he didn't have anything he could say to stop him. Rin just looked at him. What could he possibly want now. Neuhaus sighed. "Come here." He tugged at him gently towards his side and then embraced him warmly, burying his face at the crook of the boy's neck.

Rin was slightly startled, a bit indifferent, but a part of him couldn't but relish the warmth of that act. He longed for his teacher to approve him, maybe even like him a bit. Neuhaus contemplated about telling Rin of their Vow's wording. If he ever got satisfied and told that to Rin, their bond would break. Did Rin already know that? If yes, he hadn't said anything, and if no, it wouldn't be wise to tell him. He had to test Rin's soul. He finally let him go.

"Goodnight." He told him and pinched his cheek slightly. Rin involuntarily smiled a bit, and then he left the room. Neuhaus stayed and heard the door of his apartment closing as well, sign that Rin had left the place. _Affection and demons… And Rin. _He bit his thumb, thinking hard. There were some pieces that just didn't add up. Was Satan's son that good at acting? He had to be. Neuhaus would just have to see how far this act would go.


	5. Fighting It Over

**A/N: Hello my dear friends! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please review it!**

Rin was sitting in class, staring at the clouds outside the window. Ten days had passed since he first suffered the consequences of the Crimson Vow. His mind was slowly getting used to the everyday abuse. Each night still hurt, but not as much as the first times. It was probably because he stopped resisting, so Neuhaus didn't have many reasons to hurt him more than necessary. Rin had regained his usual cheerfulness, short temper and liveliness, but something had changed. He was often wondering if him being happy was just a façade, which hid the truth even from himself. He felt alright when he was forgetting about what was happening every night, when he was hanging out with his friends, joking about various, insignificant, and irrelevant stuff. But when he remembered it, he was drifting in his own world. Did he really not mind? Was he a slut for considering it not being that important anymore? Bon had told him that he was worried for a while, but now he was seeing gladly that Rin was fine. Rin knew that Neuhaus' occasional signs of affection had played an important role of him being able to calm himself down. He didn't hate Neuhaus, so he could deal with it.

_What am I doing? _He wondered, and hid his face inside his hands. He was fucking with a guy who was at the very least twenty years older than him – their age gap was greater than Rin's actual age! – and getting almost no pleasure out of it. He hadn't pictured his first experience in sex like this… And not to mention that this guy was his teacher, he was seeing him every day at school, teaching them about taming demons! Taming demons! In front of the entire class, it was like both of them were mocking everybody else. At first, Rin felt like he was living in a lie. After some time passed, he concluded that it was just his private life and he was right keeping it to himself. Not mixing his social life with his private affairs, it was just his way of protecting his secret and his sanity. He'd die if somebody found out about this. Rin couldn't think about how disgracing it was, so he wasn't thinking about it at all. He had to be as he always was, so nobody would poke his nose into where it wasn't needed.

Yukio had called. His party had reached their prearranged destination and now they were expecting backup. He didn't know when he would come back, if backup was late, the entire schedule could have been ruined. "I'm sorry, nii-san." He told him over the phone. "I don't know when I'll be back. Is everything okay? Do you need me?"

_I need you! I need you with all of my heart, I need you to come back to me! You never came when I was calling for you… _"No Yukio, you've got to be kidding! What could I possibly want?" Rin laughed and swallowed his tears. It was so much easier to lie through the phone, only your voice has to keep up pretending. "No, everything is fine!"

"Nii-san, are you sure? Is there something wrong?" Yukio sounded worried. "It would be okay to depend on me once in a while, you know."

"Are you an idiot Yukio? I just told you everything is fine!" Damn! Even through the phone, that Yukio… _I guess that's what they call twin's intuition. _

"Okay, there's no reason to yell at me! What happened to you?"

Rin wanted to shut the phone, and he'd do it, if he wasn't sure that the next day Yukio would be there. If he saw Yukio now, he was afraid he might end up telling him everything. The last thing he wanted was to cause an uproar. "Nothing." He responded calmly. "So, how are things there? Did the demons show up?"

And the rest of the conversation continued in relative tones. Rin didn't know if he was happy or unhappy with his current life. When lying on Neuhaus' sheets, he felt terrible. But again… he didn't hate him. And now, because of this, he was starting to take his life seriously. His training with Shura was progressing excellently. He had learned how to concentrate, and he loved bringing his flames forth, just so they would remind him he wasn't helpless against other enemies. Shura was very happy and proud, and she wouldn't stop praising him. His grades also improved greatly in all the other classes, even Neuhaus had to make some complimentary comments on him in class. Rin had blushed and looked at him, and Neuhaus' expression at that was indeed priceless. Rin had never experienced such approval before. His friends were jealous of him, Bon more than anyone, Shiemi was ecstatic, and even Kamiki had stopped glaring daggers at him. He had actually caught her many times staring at him, smiling. Kamiki was cute, despite her eyebrows… Rin remembered that time he saw her with her underwear… He drooled.

Really, how would it be to be with a woman? He couldn't discuss that with Neuhaus, but not one of his friends had such experience. Shima was reading much naughty stuff, and Rin thought he might get something if he asked him. He spotted him at his left. It was the last break of the day, but Shima was already lost into the Playboy world. "Hey!" He walked towards him. "What are you looking at?"

"Ah, Okumura-kun! Come on, come on, you've got to see this!" Shima waved at him. Rin bent to look at the magazine. "See? Isn't that beautiful or what?" Shima had the dreamiest expression he could muster. In the page he was looking at, there was a young woman in her early twenties, all naked, with huge breasts, long brown hair, a slender waist and a well-turned ass, leaning against a wall. Her pink pussy was showing and Rin blushed madly at the sight.

"Are you allowed to bring something like that in class?" He asked Shima, though it was an unnecessary question.

"I could be the teacher of sex education!" Shima grinned goofily. "But until then, let's keep it a little secret." He winked at Rin, and then turned the page. Now it was a naked blond girl on a horse. Both boys whistled. "Oh, isn't it the prettiest sight ever!" Shima exclaimed. "I would want to touch them so badly…"

"Hey, Shima…" Rin asked, it was now or never. "How does sex feel like?"

"Eh?" Shima was startled. "How does it feel like… It has to be the best feeling in the world!"

"Yeah, I know, but…" That wasn't what Rin meant. "I mean, how do the breasts feel against your hands?" He made the corresponding move with his hands. "How does it feel when she's under you, and you pump into her pink-"

"Whoa_, stop it right here_!" Shima shot up and covered Rin's mouth with his hands. He was blushing so bad that Rin thought steams would come out of his ears. "Are you crazy? You can't talk about that stuff out in the open like it's nothing!"

"But… but it's normal, isn't it?" Rin freed his head with a shake from Shima's grasp and asked perplexed. "What's wrong with it?"

"It is normal, but that doesn't mean it isn't embarrassing!" Shima stomped his foot down. "It's one thing looking at naked chicks and another discussing se-"

"Yo, what's up?" Bon and Konekomaru entered the classroom. "What's going on? Why is Shima's face matching his hair?" Bon commented.

"It's nothing!" Shima ran a hand through his hair, laughing awkwardly.

"Have any of you had sex yet?" Rin asked out flat.

All three guys froze at the question. "Of course we haven't! We're just in high school's first grade! Okumura what's WRONG with you?" Bon barked at him, face all flushed. Konekomaru was barely standing out of embarrassment. Another push and he'd faint.

"I just thought… I was curious!" Rin shrugged. _Yeah… it's too early for someone to have sex, isn't it? Too early… _Not that he would really mind if it was with a woman.

"Curiosity killed the cat and I'm going to kill you, you little oversized feline!" Bon got ready to catch Rin and strangle him, but Konekomaru held him back.

"No Bon! Remember the chanting test's results we have to take today! Don't get grounded at the last minute!" He tried to reason with him. Rin was whistling indifferently with his hands in his pockets. It was after that when Shura came in, followed by Shiemi and Kamiki, holding a pile of papers.

"Sit down, you lazy geeks!" She instructed them, and they obeyed grunting. "I have your test results today." Through all of the hassle that followed, Shura somehow managed to give away the papers. Out of the three best grades, Kamiki had gotten a 93, Bon a 95 and Rin… a 97.

_Seriously, this is irritating! _They both glared at Rin who was cheering and bragging over it, with Shiemi by his side and her eyes looking like little stars, complimenting about how awesome Rin was. Kamiki soon after looked at her paper, trying to see where her mistake was, while Bon just wouldn't understand. He knew the answer, how could he have written it wrong? He tried to reminisce, what was he doing at that time… And then he remembered. He had seen Rin running a hand through his hair right back then, and his eyes were so…sad. So he wrote but in the end circled the wrong answer! Damn it all! Rin wasn't… cute! Not at all! But it was true that he was emitting a strange form of sadness lately.

Everyone got out of the class commenting on the test and comparing their results. After some time, Shiemi heeded home and Kamiki went to meet Paku. The four boys continued chatting through their way to the dorms. The conversation soon strayed from the tests to something spicier. "And then he said: How does it feel to touch her breasts?" Shima resumed, and all four of them burst into laughing.

"Okumura seriously, what's wrong with you?" Bon asked him when they stopped gasping for breath. Rin shrugged again.

"It just hit me at that moment!" _No way can I tell you the truth. _

"I can't believe you mentioned something like that!" Konekomaru blushed madly. "I mean, we haven't even kissed anyone yet, so much for… doing _that_…"

"Eh? You haven't kissed? Seriously?" Rin exclaimed and walked in front of them, stepping backwards so he could face them.

"Yes Okumura. Yell louder! I think there might be someone at the other side of the town that didn't hear you!" Bon snapped at him, but didn't deny that statement. Then the three of them turned and stared at Shima. He was looking straight ahead. They stared. He didn't turn. They stared some more.

Finally, he cracked. "Okay! I haven't kiss anyone either, are you happy now?" He broke down. "I'm wasting my youth reading porn-books and hanging out with you guys! I'm a pathetic and poor kind of person! Leave me alone!" He started whining. "Izumo-chan just won't go out with me…" He whined unabashed.

"How I enjoy your misery." Bon cynically remarked and Konekomaru nodded in agreement.

"Oh, so it's true that you haven't kissed anyone!" Rin still hang up on that.

"Why, have _you_?" Bon shot back at him.

"I…" Rin was ready to say, but then he suddenly thought about it better and it struck him. His eyes widened in realization. "Now that you mention it, no, I haven't." He replied, almost soullessly. He hadn't kissed! All those things they were doing together, and yet, Neuhaus had never kissed him! He had absolutely no idea how it was to kiss someone on the mouth, simply or fully. He turned around and walked normally again, but getting ahead of them a bit, so that they couldn't look at his face. "Of course, a kiss is only between people who really love each other… isn't it?"

"Yeah, that's the basic idea…" Konekomaru answered him. "But I personally think that there are lots types of kisses. A kiss can mean nothing, but it can mean everything too. What do you say?"

"Nah, it has to mean something." Bon disagreed. "I would never kiss a person I didn't really like. Even if I had sex with someone but didn't know or like them – a prostitute for example – I would never kiss them." Rin's chest tightened painfully at those words.

"I believe it depends on the person." Shima responded. "There are some people who value the worth of one kiss. The romantics, per say. Some others don't mind to share kisses left and right."

"So Bon is a romantic!" Konekomaru giggled.

"Shut up! …Okumura, what do you say?" Bon turned to him for support.

Rin didn't want to answer. _A prostitute for example… _He had the urge to cry, but what for? He very well knew what was going on already… "I don't know. Look guys, sorry, I have to go to Shura now. See you tomorrow at school, okay?" He waved at them goodbye and then ran towards the next building, where he was usually training. He could hear them yelling something at him, along the lines of everyone gathering up tonight in their dorms, but honestly, he didn't give a damn. He didn't feel well. All those bottled up feelings he was hiding were threatening to erupt. He stormed in, running through the corridors. He wanted away, away, away, away of everything!

Suddenly his tail was seized. He yelped at the sudden pain. "It _fucking_ hurts!" He turned and roar to the one who did it. He came face to face with the object of his nightmares.

"That's why I did it." Neuhaus replied devilishly. He grabbed Rin by the arm and shoved him harshly against the wall. Rin crashed onto it with a pained groan. "Surprised to see me here? Kirigakure had to take the day off. I told her I could handle you. Right?" He bent to kiss Rin on the neck, holding him in place by both arms, but stopped when he saw his expression. Rin's blue eyes were double-sized from pure horror, and his whole body was trembling uncontrollably. He seemed utterly scared and paralyzed. "Rin?" Neuhaus shook him a bit, almost worried. He looked behind him. Nothing. He looked at Rin again; the boy wasn't looking at anybody but him. "Rin, what's wrong? It's me!"

"EXACTLY!" Rin suddenly screamed and pushed him violently back. Or at least, he tried. "Get off of me! Get your hands off of me! I'm not your whore!" Rin had reached his breaking point. "Not your whore, not your whore, not your…"

Neuhaus pushed him further into the wall, slapping a hand on his mouth to silence him. "Shush, are you crazy?" He almost whispered at him. "What if someone passes by?"

Rin bit it. It didn't hurt Neuhaus the tiniest bit, but he took his hand away from surprise. "I don't care! I don't care, let the whole world know it, I don't care anymore! I just want it to end!" Neuhaus backed away from the trembling boy in shock of that violent outbreak. Rin embraced himself, his hair covering his face. The excessive trembling just wouldn't cease. "Your hands on my body… I don't want them!" He clutched on his own arms even tighter. "Yours hands, your lips, your dick…" He spat the last word with disgust. "I don't want it in me!" He cried out. "I can't pretend anymore! I can't pretend that everything is alright!" Rin collapsed on the floor, and started crying his eyes out. Neuhaus had only seen him like this when he went through that crisis and started digging his nails in his skin. The tears were falling on the floor like crystalline droplets. Neuhaus didn't have anything to say in all of this.

Wasn't that what he wanted? To make Satan's son suffer. The kid was there, shivering, unable to stand up from the intense, psychological pain. Neuhaus should relish that fact… And yet, this wasn't feeling good at all. He didn't want Rin to hurt like this, son of Satan or not, Neuhaus had to admit that he'd never seen him doing anything to cause harm to other people. He would, at some point, that was a given. It was in his evil nature. But despite all that, he couldn't punish him for things he hadn't done. Of course, the option of Rin being an innocent, good person, never crossed his mind. He was terrified about what would that mean, and he'd never give the demon the benefit of the doubt.

Without saying a word, he sat next to Rin, away so that he wasn't touching but, but near enough to feel his intense presence, waiting for Rin to calm down. He didn't know what he felt towards Rin. He wasn't that angry at him as the first times anymore. Still, he kept on disgracing him. There were moments that Rin seemed so pretty, so Neuhaus was acting out of impulse and showing him affection. A kiss on the cheek, a hug when Rin seemed sad or cold, he had even tickled him once and genuinely smiled at Rin's instinctive giggling. All of those acts of course, were always outside the bed. But it was at those times that Neuhaus felt the happiest, and not when Rin was trying to hold back his tears. Sex with him was just giving him raw pleasure. Which wasn't bad, he had to say…

Rin gradually stopped crying_. Poor kid, must have gone through hell those past few days_. Neuhaus thought, and he knew was the one who caused that. Still, he didn't regret a moment of it. He might have showed the little demon some sympathy, but that didn't mean he would allow him to trick him. Demons could easily seduce people. He wouldn't fall for that. But he didn't resist when Rin leaned onto him, wiping his tears away. Instead, he put his arm behind the boy's back and hugged him, caressing him to soothe him. This was actually nice… Soon, Rin felt comfortable enough to hug him back, wrapping his arms around his waist and burying his face in his chest.

They remained like this for a while, without uttering a word. Neuhaus wanted to ask Rin if he was okay now, but he wouldn't risk another crisis. It was Rin who broke the silence. "I like you… why can't you like me back?" Rin knew it sounded pathetic and needy, but he didn't mean it in a sexual way.

Neuhaus stood there, petrified for some moments. There was no _way_ Rin was talking the truth. It is impossible to like the one that violates you! If that demon thought he would ignite guilt in him, wasn't he wrong! He shot up, breaking the contact with him. "You think you can just_ lie_ your way through this, Satan's son?" He glared at him, overruled by fury. Rin trembled, that wasn't good. When Neuhaus wasn't using his name, it was never good. He raised his arms to protect his face. Neuhaus grabbed him by the hair violently and shoved him back at his feet, ready to punch him.

"How can you do things like that with someone you don't like?" Rin cried out, in a desperate attempt to protect himself. Neuhaus' arm froze in the midway. He didn't want to process that…

Suddenly, the ground under them juddered. Neuhaus let go of Rin, and they both toppled, trying to regain their balance. It was like something immensely heavy was continuously falling on the ground. Outside the window, spheres of scarlet flames were shining their way through. The rumble was deafening.

"What's happening?" Rin shouted, in an attempt to be heard.

Neuhaus narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth. "Stay here." He ordered him, then he ran out of the building. Unfortunately, his fears had come true. "Banshees…" He whispered. Their naming had nothing to do with Irish legends. A Banshee, in the exorcists' language, meant an ugly, gray demon who looked much like a bat or more accurately a pterodactyl. It had no hair on it, a body that looked like a human's but with arms full of skinny wings, attached to their torsos. Their heads were those of a misshapen baby's, and all they could do was screech. They had an amazing power and they could pass through the walls of a building without anything happening to them, but that wasn't the worst. The worst was the strength of the fire streams they were emitting, and the number in which they were traveling, like a wolf club. Ten banshees were enough to cause a disaster. And now, they were attacking the academy.

Shura shot out of the nearby building with her underwear in the hurry she was in. Luckily for her, compared to her regular clothes, no one understood the difference. The other professors came out too in fragments of seconds; even Mephisto Pheles came down from his tower and showed up immediately. Everyone gathered, creating a defensive circle. Mephisto was sitting cross-legged behind them, smirking, like he was out mostly enjoying the show.

Rin of course didn't listen to Neuhaus and followed on his heels. "What are those things?" He questioned, through that entire ruckus.

Neuhaus wasn't happy to see him. "Rin! I told you to stay in…" He didn't finish his sentence. A banshee was quicker and spitted fire at them. Between them smoke and dust were lifted, and they lost sight of each other. "RIN!" Neuhaus screamed. He scrambled up, trying to search for him, but the banshee launched at him. He was quicker and injured his arm, so his blood would flow out and dye the circles in his arm. His tamed demons appeared out of nowhere and smashed her into the ground, breaking her neck. He cursed. Before he could search for Rin, he heard other screams.

"What's going on here?" Bon's voice was heard. Bon, Shima, Konekomaru and Kamiki had shown up to fight too. They couldn't just sit there and ignore the attack. Kamiki had already let out her demon foxes, while Konekomaru was chanting.

Shura freaked out. "What are you doing here! Get back in the academy!" She yelled at them, half-angry half-terrified. But then she felt a hand over her shoulder.

"Please, relax, my dear Kirigakure-sensei." Mephisto told her calmly. "Don't you think it will be a perfect opportunity to see how much our young students have improved?" He smirked as usual. Shura opened her mouth to protest, but understood that nothing would come out of it. She dragged the sword of inside her chest, gritted her teeth and fell in battle. Three banshees appeared in front of her and she started slashing. Back to her students, they had a problem. They continued chanting defensive charms, but the banshees were forcing their way near them. Kamiki's foxes could only hold back one.

"Bon, what are we doing now?" Shima almost stuttered from fear. Konekomaru was sweating from the inhuman effort he was putting forth. Bon didn't have an answer, he was trying his best but the monsters were still pushing their way through…

Suddenly, long and sharp wooden spears came out from the ground and stabbed the banshees threatening them, right through their hearts. The demons struggled for some moments and then surrendered to death. "Guys! Guys!" Shiemi ran towards them from behind. "Sorry I'm late!"

Their mouth hanged open. _Moriyama did this? Three banshees all at once? _They didn't have a chance to rejoice though. Another banshee flew over Shiemi between fragments of seconds. "MORIYAMA!" Bon screamed at her. Shiemi looked up, but there was no time she could do anything, no matter how fast she was running…

Blue flames surrounded the demon. It screeched horribly, deafening them for a moment. Rin didn't waste any time and threw himself on it. They fell on the ground, rolling over and fighting fiercely. Before long, the banshee was burned to death, twitching and through spasms. Rin got up, ready to fight some more.

"Okumura, catch!" Shura threw him his sword. Rin caught it in the air and wasted no time drawing it free. His blue flames were double in size and fierceness. His ears lengthened, his canines sharpened and a glimpse of red could be seen through his blue eyes.

"Now we're talking. Bring it on, bitches!" He screamed at the banshees and threw himself in battle. _Demon… _Was everything Neuhaus could think at that sight. It wasn't long before the banshees had Rin surrounded. He fought his best, but he couldn't take them all at once. Rin barely caught a glimpse of one coming behind him, inches before it burned him. An enormous, monstrous hand slapped it away so strongly, it went and crashed through the wall of the building 50 meters away. Neuhaus came and stood next to him, covering his back. "Eh? You, coming to help me? That's rare!" Rin grinned.

"Don't let it get over your head." Neuhaus shot at him. "So far, you've got a C plus."

"So all I'll have to do is make it an A!" Rin shouted and slashed the next banshee's head away from her body. Soon, the other exorcists stood near to help them. Rin and Neuhaus continued fighting, until they were pushed almost inside the building they had come from. The banshee that did this started snickering. Before they could understand why, it went and crashed in the wall above them. The building could take no more. A huge slice of rock fell on them, aiming on Neuhaus, followed by a ton of bricks and other debris. "NO!" Rin screamed and jumped up towards him, managing to cut it in half with his sword. Neuhaus barely managed to grab him by the collar and shove him in the building. They crashed down at the floor, Neuhaus covering Rin with his body to protect him. The debris fell, sealing the entrance and hiding them from the rest of their allies.

They waited until the dust sat down. They could still hear the battle screaming from outside, but it was clear that the fight was almost over. The banshees were annihilated. They stayed as they were to catch their breath, until Neuhaus used his elbows to prop himself up and look at Rin beneath him. Rin was lying under him, his back on the ground, beaten up and covered in dust. Neuhaus guessed that he was pretty much at the same state. Usually, they were doing other things in this position…

_Why didn't he let the rock crash on me? It would be the perfect opportunity to end his nightmare… and no one would blame him._ Neuhaus couldn't help but think. He was unable of understanding Rin's train of thought. Rin behaved like the best person Neuhaus had ever met. Yet, he was bound to be evil. So why? Why did he save him?

"_I like you… why can't you like me back?"_

Like him? He was terrified that he'd lose him! No matter his constant denial, he had to admit the horrible feeling that overcame him when he thought Rin might have been hurt. He couldn't go around denying the truth anymore. Oh, let it all go to hell for now! He leaned down. Rin looked at him confused.

"Don't be scared…" He whispered at him, and then he placed a soft kiss on his lips. Rin's eyes widened in surprise, but as the kiss continued, he relaxed and closed his eyes. So that's what a kiss felt like… a kiss… It became more passionate soon. Neuhaus' tongue demanded entrance and Rin was glad to grant it. He didn't know how to kiss, so he let the other man ravish his mouth as he pleased. It didn't feel half bad…

They parted for air, breathing heavily. Neuhaus admired Rin's exquisite face and his gleaming blue eyes. It was something more beautiful than he had ever imagined. Rin's beauty and charm was dangerous. What if he became entranced by it and forgot his original purpose? This was truly too dangerous…

_I have to kill him soon._ He thought, but tossed it aside as he leant to kiss Rin some more, attracted like the moth to the flame to those soft, pink lips.


	6. One Night Exception

**A/N: Hello, hello, hello! Back in business! Thanks again to all of my dear reviewers! I forgot to mention Kuro through this story, but in this chapter I'm bringing over that cat. Additionally, I want to say that of course Yukio will appear in later chapters. For now, enjoy, we're starting off right from the yummy stuff! ;) **

Neuhaus pushed Rin into his apartment, unable to stop kissing him feverishly. Their previous kiss was abruptly interrupted by the constant shouting of the people outside the building the banshee's attack had pushed them. Neuhaus had cursed, but if anybody saw them and he was at fault, it would be the end of his deal, and it just couldn't happen. He reluctantly got off Rin and then helped him stand up too. Rin had returned to his human form as soon as they had crashed inside together, but he still looked somewhat beaten up. After finally getting out and reassuring everyone they were okay, Mephisto ordered everyone to return in their dorms. And so they did. Afterwards, in the night, Rin came to Neuhaus' apartment at 9 o' clock, as he always did.

He had stood up there, blushing and looking at the floor. He was so downright adorable, Neuhaus had grabbed him and kissed him with every single one of his coherent thoughts flying out of the window. Guiding him through the living room, opening the door of the bedroom, nothing registered. Only when he tossed him on the bed and saw him looking at him with frightened eyes, he understood what he was doing. Okay, he had a right to make an exception to the rule. Tonight would be a special occasion.

He caressed the black bangs of the boy away from his eyes, trying to calm him down. "Don't be afraid, Rin." He told him, composed. He had to make it so that Rin wouldn't suffer the tiniest bit tonight. "Tonight I won't be hurting you."

Rin's eyes widened. "You… You won't? Really?" It just sounded too good to be true.

"Yeah." Neuhaus smiled at him. "Consider it payback for saving me today." He leaned in and kissed him again. Then he started kissing him at the cheek, on the forehead, and then he moved towards the neck.

"But… But you saved me too!" Rin managed to protest between the kisses. Not that he minded, but he wasn't seeing him stopping at all…

Neuhaus looked up at Rin's confused face. This kid was driving him crazy from want. He brought his mouth next to his ear. "Shush." He whispered. "Tonight I'll make love to you." He felt Rin's breath hitching. "Don't be scared, you have nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. I promise you that it will feel _very _good. Relax." He worked his way on Rin's neck, trying to mark him as his. He had tried to do so before, it didn't work because Rin's body was healing itself afterwards. Nevertheless, he would do it, even if the mark were to disappear the next second.

Rin didn't know what to think, what to say, which would be the proper way to react to all of this. In the end, they would just do it again. What would be the difference? That he'd actually try to pleasure him? Rin didn't know how that worked. Except that time he had given him a blowjob, Rin had never again found any pleasure in this. He just…

He felt him unbuttoning his shirt, and moving his trail of kisses down his stern, and then his chest. He opened it up completely and lightly bit at where Rin's heart would be. Rin felt like he was trying to eat his heart out of him. He trembled at the thought and the feeling. Then his teacher focused on his nipple, and Rin let out a yelp. This feeling… the feeling of sparks igniting through him… "Ah… Not there!" He stuttered. He was such a mess! Hair pointing through every direction, face flushed, but he didn't know for what reason he had to be flushed. Did he want that? Did he not? Should he be ashamed, either way? What was about to happen to him? Making love… this was all too much, he had never before made love, he didn't know what that meant! He was unable to grasp the situation, and moreover, as longer as Neuhaus was teasing his nipples with his tongue and teeth, Rin was feeling his own dick hardening. The only thing he knew it was that if this continued, he would get swept away and end up _pleading_ another man to fuck him! It was preposterous!

Neuhaus looked up at Rin, satisfied with his drunk-looking face. "What? Not enough?" He smirked at him, and then slid his hand inside Rin's pants, grabbing his member and starting caressing the tip with his thumb.

"Ah!" Rin cried out at the contact. "Please…" He gasped. "This… this is…" This man had repeatedly raped him, there was no way his hands felt so good… They usually were stuck on his wrists, pinning them down roughly to hold him still as their owner was moving above him back and forth, in and out…

Even that kind of thoughts weren't enough to make him not enjoy them. Rin didn't resist at all when Neuhaus removed his hand from his member and pulled his pants and shoes away from his body, leaving him all naked. He climbed again on top of him, to stare in his eyes. "Rin… Relax." He told him once again and ran a hand down Rin's thigh. Rin couldn't help but shiver.

He turned his head away and closed his eyes, as he always did. "Do it. Get it over with." He said, swallowing hard. That was how it always happened… Now he would just grab his legs, open them and shove his dick inside… Making love and bullshit, was he supposed to buy that?

But instead of that, he felt a hand cupping his cheek gently. "Rin, look at me."

_Look at me when I'm doing this to you, Satan's spawn!_

Rin whimpered at the memory. It was the first time he was raped. He wouldn't forget a word or a thrust from that fateful night. He did as told, his eyes full of sorrow. He had a chance to exam his teacher's face in return. Even in his late thirties, Neuhaus had a very handsome face. He had black hair, light blue eyes – or at least, the one that was left – and the lines time and pain had drawn on his face were adding him a mature form of charm. The eye-patch on his left, unused eye was giving him a dark and alluring sense of style. His body was also muscular and well-toned. It showed clearly through his clothes, Rin had felt it so many times and knew it well. But Neuhaus had never taken his clothes off in front of him. He was only unzipping his pants and then shoving _it_ in, like he was going to do now…

Neuhaus leaned in and kissed Rin over his eyelids. Though Rin didn't understand what was happening, he had to admit that it was an intoxicating feeling, this honest kindness… Then Neuhaus kissed him on the lips softly. Rin fought back the impulse to wrap his arms around his neck and kiss him back. He didn't know if he would approve. Still, he opened his mouth impatiently. They kissed deeply for some moments, and then parted. "Rin, I told you, it's not going to be like any of the previous times." Neuhaus told him.

Rin hesitantly directed a hand at his arm, asking for permission to touch with his eyes. "Then… Will you take that off too?" He questioned innocently. Neuhaus was wearing a dark gray shirt and black pants. "Will you let me touch you?" He finally dared to place his hand on the man's arm.

Neuhaus sighed. He didn't move for some seconds, but then he placed his hand on Rin's. "Not yet." He told him. "Trust me. You're not ready yet."_ Neither am I._ Still, he held onto Rin's hand. "Tonight is an exception. Forget everything and let yourself go." He told him that more so he could hear it himself. It was just this night. This night that he would forget all of his tormenting thoughts. But he wasn't ready to let go of his armor yet. He bent down and took Rin's member in his mouth.

Rin gasped in pleasure. He remembered how it felt, but it struck him so suddenly… It was amazing. He moaned, this time freely. "More…" If there was more, he wanted more! He groaned in protest when Neuhaus got up and took away the delicious friction before he could come. He looked down, and saw him stretching his hand and picking something from the floor near the bed. It was a bottle. "What…?"

"Something that won't hurt you." The older man responded and poured a generous amount of lubricant on his fingers. Then he guided them towards Rin's pink entrance. Rin could feel them teasing the opening. He shivered. "Relax." Neuhaus whispered to him and slid his index finger in until the knuckle.

Rin writhed under him. It was a bit uncomfortable, but it didn't hurt. The sensation was weird, as Neuhaus started twisting it inside in circles, trying to relax the muscles. Soon, a second finger followed the first and Rin shifted a bit, but then settled down. As the fingers inside him had started scissor-like movements to open him up, a third one was added. Rin moaned. The lubricant was making it very easy for them to slide in and out, he laid back and let go.

Suddenly, his whole body twitched. Neuhaus was smirking at him. "Did I find it?" Rin was looking at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. Neuhaus pumped with his fingers at the same spot, and Rin cried out. His mind wasn't able to comprehend this sense of pleasure. Some other times, when fucking, he had felt similar jolts, but the pain was too much to seriously pay attention to them. Now that there was no pain involved, waves of pleasure and delight were running through him. He wasn't able to sustain his screams. Neuhaus continued to finger-fuck him, admiring Rin's face and voice. Yes, this was a good decision.

He couldn't keep this up for long, his own cock was screaming for attention. Such a sight of Rin he rarely saw. He took his fingers out, and Rin whined in protest. "No… Don't stop!"

"I'm not going to." He informed him, and unzipped his pants. It was the first time Rin was looking at his dick impatiently, although a drop of doubt could be seen in his eyes. He poured some more lube in his hand, and then used it to cover up and down his member well. When he finished preparing, Rin laid back and opened his legs, waiting. "Ready?" Rin hesitated for a bit, but then nodded. Neuhaus covered him with his body and slowly but very carefully, slid his way into the young boy. Rin hissed at the feeling and tensed up. Although it didn't hurt nearly as much as the previous times, it was still a bit stinging. But as Neuhaus started moving inside out, all thoughts were erased from Rin's mind. He lifted his legs more and angled himself, to make it easier for him to find his spot. His arms were wrapped around Neuhaus' back before he knew it, and he didn't bother noticing it.

"My God!" Rin cried out. Neuhaus was hitting his spot with every thrust, in a slow and steady rhythm. Rin opened his legs as widely as he could, in order to take more of the man on top of him. The contact and the rhythm were driving him crazy. This had nothing to do compared to what they were doing before, it was hard to believe it was the same act. The fact that they could share this immense pleasure together had never crossed Rin mind. Yet, there he lay, his heart pumping insanely, totally overruled by the delicious sensation.

Neuhaus relished Rin's sight too much. Looking at Rin screaming that he wanted more, moaning, blushing, wrapping his arms around him and synchronizing to the rhythm… made him want to come at the spot. Yes, it was undoubtedly much better when Rin wanted this too… He sped up. There was a limited amount of time he could hold himself back, and he wanted Rin to come before he did. They couldn't just end it there… Why not spicing it up a bit?

He wrapped his arm around Rin's waist and lifted him up, without pulling out of him. Now he was in a sitting position, with Rin riding on his member. He let him catch his breath for a while. Rin looked at him with half-lidded, dazed eyes. "Raise your hips." He instructed him. "Like this." He grabbed him by the waist and lifted him up, then let him slide down again. Rin gasped at the pleasuring movement. "Now do it."

Rin did as told, hesitantly at the start but soon he got used to it and gained more confidence and speed. Right at the moment, he loved the big, hard dick rubbing inside him, he wanted it so badly, he was moving upon it to get more pleasure out of it. He had never imagined that it would give him that much of a breathtaking feeling it was enough to get intoxicated by. Neuhaus buried his face in Rin's chest, so that he wouldn't see him all flushed and finish before realizing it. Still, he was hearing Rin's cries and gasps. "What are you doing to me, kid." He muttered and Rin vaguely heard him, feeling a tiny bit of satisfaction. It was his time to speed up now. Neuhaus couldn't resist and threw him back on the mattress, grabbing his legs and pumping into him like there was no tomorrow.

Rin couldn't take anymore, he was reaching the peak. "Ah… Ah… I'm coming!" He screamed. Neuhaus wrapped his arms around his torso and tightly embraced him as he came as well. Rin cried out from the delight of his own orgasm and from feeling his teacher's warm semen filling his insides. It felt just right at that moment…

They stayed like this for a while, breathing heavily, locked in that safe hug. Rin's arms never left Neuhaus' back through the whole ordeal, and now his teacher was bracing him too. It felt good…

Neuhaus kissed him on the lips and then pulled out of him, rolling at the side. Rin noticed that he hadn't bled at all through this. Was that even possible? Apparently so. He remained lying down for some minutes, and then wondered what he should do now. Usually, he was taking a shower in Neuhaus' bathroom before leaving, Neuhaus had instructed him to do so, and he was almost never in the apartment when Rin left the place. Now it was different. Nevertheless, Rin sat up.

Neuhaus noticed him. "Where are you going?"

Rin ran a hand through his hair. "In the bathroom. I have to…"

"You can take a shower in the morning." Neuhaus interrupted him. Rin looked at him questioningly. "You'll sleep here tonight." He grasped his arm gently and led him to lie down. Tomorrow was Saturday. Neither of them had any obligations. "You don't want to?"

Rin contemplated about it. "No… it's alright." He concluded. Nobody was waiting for him at his room, and…

He snuggled in his teacher's arms, and he accepted him. They both fell asleep, Neuhaus' hand petting at Rin's tail. That tail reminded him of the wall between them, still, that night it looked beautiful. Rin had even purred at the feeling…

The next morning, Rin woke up first. He felt safe again, after a long time. He looked up and saw that Neuhaus was still asleep. Carefully, he got out of his arms, and couldn't help but notice that the clothes he was still wearing were messed up by their yesterday activities. Rin picked up his clothes and got in the shower. He used cold water, it was making him feel cleaner and more refreshed. After he finished and got dressed up, he hesitated about what to do. Should he stay here? Should he go? Neuhaus had him utterly confused. Did he want him there, when he'd wake up? Did he want him out of his sight? Last night he said that making love was an exception. Did that mean that from now on he would return on hurting him? Rin didn't know how much he could be hurt by that act ever again. In the end, he decided that no matter what Neuhaus wanted or felt, he had to go for now.

Neuhaus heard the door closing, and then looked at his empty bed. He had woken up from the sound of the water running in the shower, but pretended to be asleep. He didn't want to have to face Rin right then. For he didn't know what he should tell him or how he, himself, would act. The thought that Rin was Satan's son was buried at the back of his mind, almost forgotten.

Rin opened up the door of his room, only to have a ball of fur latching onto his leg. _"Rin! Rin! Where have you been?" _Kuro was wagging both of his tails, so much excited for seeing Rin once again.

"Kuro!" Rin sat down and hugged his demon cat, unbelievably happy. "Where have _you_ been, you little fellow!" Rin laughed and played with him a bit, like a kid in elementary school. "You disappeared for two weeks! Where have you been wandering?"

"_Oh Rin! I met this little cute female cat demon! She's amazing Rin! I'm so happy!"_ Kuro's expression was dreamy, and he meowed in addition.

Rin's expression clouded. "Female, huh? That's… nice." He managed a weak smile. Even his cat had a girl, and he was…

No, no, no, he couldn't fully think about what he had done last night. The fact that he wasn't feeling bad about it was even worse. He was secure that he didn't like guys, but why did he feel so good with Neuhaus? He couldn't explain it.

Kuro jumped around him. _"You didn't tell me Rin, where have you been? Why didn't you sleep here last night?"_

Rin shrugged and offered him a fake smile. "Here and there." He got up and neared his desk. "Listen, Kuro, I have to study now. Can you go outside and play until I finish?"

Kuro's mouth hung open, as Rin was sitting at his chair. "_Rin, it's Saturday morning! What happened to you?"_

Rin grinned at him. "Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm doing pretty good lately!" Rin showed at Kuro his latest grades, bragging like a peacock. Kuro froze.

"_Must… get… some air…" _The demon cat walked out of the room, toppling. Rin continued grinning stupidly. He loved other people reactions when he was showing them his grades. Being a good student had his advantages after all… Wait until he showed this to Yukio! At last, he had something to make him proud of! His life might have been strange lately, but things were finally going as he wanted them!

And then a black aura surrounded him and he collapsed face down on the desk, utterly depressed. _I'm sleeping with my teacher. My life is a mess!_

They had physical education at Monday, in the last hour. In lack of demons to tame, Neuhaus allowed them to go outside and play volleyball, like in normal school. Rin didn't see him at all at Sunday. If he didn't know from Shura that Mr. Pheles had ordered him to go out of town that day, thus the lack of demons, he'd think that he was avoiding him. Anyway, he would learn that soon enough. For now, he was just enjoying having fun with his friends. The girls' skirts were too short and Shiemi's big chest was bouncing… It was very easy to get distracted, but at least you had sure points to score against Shima! Rin was in the same team as Shiemi and Konekomaru, and across the net were Kamiki, Bon and Shima.

Neuhaus looked at his students, observing them for any accidents. Oh who the hell was he kidding! He had eyes only for Rin! He watched him talking and blushing to that blond girl – he was sure hanging out with her a lot – and teasing that tall classmate of his, whom he had caught him with the other day with his arm in his back. He unconsciously glared. Sure, he had asked Mr. Pheles to go out of town on Sunday so he wouldn't have to see Rin, but that didn't mean… Suddenly, Bon passed through the net and used the knuckles of his hands to squeeze Rin's head between them. "Okumura, say another word, I dare you!"

"Ouch, ouch, I give in!" Rin protested, couldn't help but giggling a bit though.

"Bon, calm down!" Konekomaru tried to part them as always.

"What are you DOING there?"

All six of them immediately paraded in front of each other like soldiers. Neuhaus' voice didn't seem the least bit happy, and it wasn't a great sight whenever he was deciding to yell at someone. Rin was feeling him glaring daggers at him, as he was walking with big steps towards them. Not good, not good, not…

"Did you even _think_ that you could go around creating a mess while being in _my_ class?" The lecture began and everybody started sweating.

"Sir, no sir!" Six mouths, one voice. The ventriloquist classmate of them with the bunny was observing the scene from afar. He never participated in anything, so many times they were forgetting his existence. Something told Bon that he was enjoying seeing them in trouble now.

"Even if I let you play that stupid game, it doesn't mean that you have left the class already! What would it cost you to behave your age?" Neuhaus continued, and nobody was stupid enough to answer. He walked around them some more, but he had to end this. "You, you and you." He pointed at Bon, Rin and Konekomaru. "You're getting detention after class."

"What?" Konekomaru protested, confronting the intimidation that was emitting from his teacher. "But sensei, I didn't do anything!"

"Then you shouldn't have walked into the mess like you did." Neuhaus spat back at him. He was ready to turn and leave, but Rin's voice stopped him.

"Don't worry, Konekomaru." Rin folded his arms across his chest and glared back at Neuhaus. He knew that what he was about to say would come to bite him in the ass, but he was just too irritated to let it go. "Neuhaus sensei has made a habit out of punishing people for things they never did." _And then running the fuck away! _

The temperature suddenly dropped below zero. Everybody was looking at Rin with wide, disbelieving eyes. He hadn't just said what they thought he said, right? The atmosphere was so terrifying that Shima went and hid behind Kamiki. Neuhaus felt the blood accumulating in his brain. The boy hadn't just pissed him off, he had infuriated him! He never thought it was possible to lose control of himself that easily, yet he saw red. Before he knew, he had grabbed Rin by the collar and lifted him up the air.

"What are you doing, are you crazy?" He heard voices. Rin hadn't resisted, but he was still glaring at him. Bon had grabbed Neuhaus' hand that held Rin, trying to make him release him. "Let him go!" The shouting belonged to him. "Are you insane? Let him go! It was my fault anyway! He didn't do anything, I started it!" Bon tried to reason with him, but Neuhaus wouldn't listen. Yet, he kept on trying. "I just meant to tease him! I know it wasn't right, but let him go!"

"Whoa, whoa, internal conflict inside the academy?" A voice sounded behind them. They all turned to see the Paladin, Mr. Arthur Augustus Angel. He looked like always, with his white clothes and long, blond hair, angelic. He was wearing a knowing smirk and seemed like he was having fun. "And yet, you managed to exterminate the banshees."

Neuhaus tossed Rin on the ground. "Rin!" Shiemi cried out and ran towards him, kneeling next to him. Everybody did. Bon glared and Neuhaus, but he wasn't paying any attention to them anymore.

"Class is over, get into the academy. Forget the detention." Neuhaus simply told them, without even looking at them. Rin got up, his hair covering his eyes, and walked away as instructed. His friends followed him, it wasn't long after Kamiki's _'are you stupid or what'_ lectures started. Neuhaus turned his attention to Augustus. "What brings the Paladin in our academy? That's rare." He observed.

The other man didn't bother answering. "I see you're still having problems with Satan's son." He stated. "What, is he giving you a hard time?"

Neuhaus snorted. "Barely." Augustus wanted to talk about Rin?

"He's pretty though." Augustus almost licked his lips. "Isn't it unfair that Satan's son is this beautiful?"

"You think? Do you actually want something?" Neuhaus glared at him. "I'm not in the mood for petty games!"

Augustus' smile disappeared from his lips. "Very well, I'll cut to the chase. I've heard that you took the Crimson Vow with Okumura Rin."

Neuhaus gritted his teeth. Of course, taking the Vow was a secret. But…

"What were the terms?" Augustus continued questioning.

"That's none of your business!" Neuhaus turned to leave, but Augustus stepped in front of him. The truth was, he already knew the terms.

"It is, Igor Neuhaus, because depending on your answer, I can remove him from your life for good." Augustus realized that it was time he started explaining. "The Vatican is torn over what Mephisto Pheles has told them. Ever since Okumura Rin defeated the Earth King, most of them agreed into accepting him, but plenty of them have serious doubts. And there are some who are uncompromising over erasing him for good. Personally, I think that Satan's son shouldn't exist in this world. So, I've come representing the last party. I'm giving you permission to kill Okumura Rin."

Augustus let the words sink in. Finally, Neuhaus responded. "What do you mean?" He asked, calmly.

"I mean that if you kill Okumura Rin here, without creating a ruckus and without being seen by anyone who would want to stop you, as your Vow allows you to, you'll have the outmost protection of the Vatican and a high position in the hierarchy." Augustus offered. "They don't want to make Mephisto Pheles an enemy, so it has to be done by someone from the shadows. And that is you." Neuhaus didn't reply. He didn't utter a word. "I know that you highly respect Mr. Pheles, and that you're loyal to him, but see it as the perfect revenge. Of course, if you refuse…" Augustus looked at where Rin had left from. "I guess I'll have to kidnap him, play with him a little, and then…"

"I'll do it." Neuhaus interrupted him. Augustus frowned like he was disappointed. So that was why Okumura Yukio had been chosen for a long time mission.

"Very well. Don't let the Vatican down. You have a week." It was the last words he said before he left. He left Neuhaus alone in the yard, with his mind completely empty.

"Rin…" He whispered. He curled his hands into fists, so intensely that his nails broke the skin and he bled. The blood ran down his fingers and dripped on the grass, painting it red.


	7. White Roses

**A/N: Hello everyone! I firstly wanted to say that my cancelled exams have been sadly rearranged, so chapters won't be coming out as frequently as they used to. I hope I still manage to sustain your interest though! ;) To explain something in chapter one: Daedal means artistic. So I wanted to say that the Vow Rin and Neuhaus have tattooed on their arms is more like a black bracelet with many lines entangling with each other. Ok? Oh and yes, this story follows the anime and not the manga. It is moving to a different kind of angst and not rape, but I **_**will**_** do some more fan-service on that part in the chapter after this one! ;) Enjoy! **

At nine, Neuhaus knocked on Rin's door. He didn't expect him to come to him that night, so he thought it might be better to pick him up. He'd bet his life that Rin was still sulking about what happened in the yard. And for his disappearance the day right after they did it. Okay, what did that kid want anyway? What did _he, himself_ want…?

Rin opened the door. Yup, he was sulking. "Can I help you with anything?" He folded his arms across his chest and leaned right, on the doorframe, frowning.

Neuhaus sighed. "Put that immature act aside. Come with me." He grabbed him by the arm, gently. Rin couldn't push it away. He knew he would be punished for what he said in front of everyone this morning. He didn't care. Neuhaus pulled him out, but Rin was stopped by Kuro's voice.

"_Rin! Rin, don't go with him!"_ Kuro had attached himself to Rin's left leg, trying to drag him back in. _"I don't trust him! He's dangerous!"_

All Neuhaus was hearing was a constant meowing, but he could clearly see the cat's intentions. Rin though, was the only one who understood Kuro's words. He bent down, kneeled and patted Kuro at the head, trying to calm him down. "Don't worry, Kuro. I will be fine." He smiled at him. He knew he was lying through his teeth of course, but what was new…

"_You're lying to me Rin!" _Kuro meowed intensely, and Rin's eyes widened. Before he could reply, he felt Neuhaus' hands softly grabbing his arms and lifting him up.

"Don't worry kitty." Neuhaus said to Kuro. "I won't hurt your boss." He ran his hand up and down Rin's arm, almost intimately. Rin seemed so vulnerable at that moment…

Kuro hissed. "_Don't touch Rin!"_ He meowed angrily and threw himself at Neuhaus' leg. Animal intuition or whatever it might have been, Kuro felt that Rin was endangering himself by being near that man. And thus, he also felt the need to protect him no matter what the risk might be for him, so he bit him hard. Kuro, even in his tiny form, still was a demon and he still had much more power in his jaws than normal cats. His fangs passed through the fabric and sank in the flesh. Neuhaus didn't even move in recognition, even when blood started running out, he stayed and looked at Kuro expressionlessly.

Suddenly, Kuro was seized and pulled away by familiar hands. "Kuro!" Rin brought him near his face. "What are you doing there?" Rin was angry! Kuro's ears fell and he seemed crestfallen. Why was Rin angry at him? He was only trying to protect him, he didn't understand…

Kuro had indeed angered Rin. Why did he bit Neuhaus? He didn't remember his cat being a rabid animal sharing biting left and right! He had hurt him for nothing!

All of a sudden, he realized what that meant. He held Kuro in his arms to protect him and slowly turned to face his teacher. He was still expressionless and had nothing to comment, staring at Rin. Rin started trembling. The worst thing was always to not know what's coming for you. Kuro noticed Rin's change of behavior and got scared too, hiding in Rin's arms. Rin wanted to make excuses for Kuro, but what could he say about a cat and be taken seriously? "He… he was just trying to protect me…" He said, but it didn't elicit a reaction out of Neuhaus. Rin let Kuro down. "Go!" He ordered him. But the cat was still hesitating. It was afraid, but it didn't want to leave Rin alone… "NOW!" He almost stomped his foot on the floor. Kuro shot out of there immediately. Neuhaus observed him disappearing by the corner of his eye, and then turned his attention back at Rin.

Rin stepped backwards until his back met the wall. Neuhaus walked towards him until he was standing right in front of him. He raised his hand.

_Oh my God!_ Rin thought and raised his arms to protect his face, clenching his eyes shut. He was still trembling. It was true, nothing had changed… He was so angry, he wanted to scream out, but instead he could feel tears itching at the back of his eyes. Soon, they were leaving trails on his cheeks. This was so unfair! For what sins was he being punished? For being born? He just wanted somebody to love him for who he was, and then he could go on living! There were times he doubted even his brother and his friends, but with Neuhaus he had shared the outmost expression of love and now it hurt more… this…

Neuhaus observed him well. Rin was still very much afraid of him. Not that he shouldn't be. Then what was that constrictive feeling in his chest? He held Rin's hands and guided them down. Then he bent and took Rin's face in his hands, kissing him on the cheek, gathering his tears. Rin sighed in appreciation and finally opened his eyes a bit. He loved that warmth and affection. He slightly opened his mouth, inviting Neuhaus to kiss him there. Soon, they were engaged in a fierce kiss, Rin's hands wrapped tightly around Neuhaus' back and Neuhaus' hands around Rin's waist. He just didn't want to let him go. Ever.

When they broke the kiss, Rin leaned into his embrace. "I missed you…" He whispered, feeling safe again. He didn't miss the abuse of course; he missed those rare moments of lovingness. Neuhaus ran his fingers through Rin's hair. Rin's hair always smelled wonderfully. Unwillingly, he broke their embrace, but only to guide Rin into his own apartment. When they got in there, he kissed him again.

Rin moaned. He didn't know what would happen, but he was determined to get the best out of it. Neuhaus wanted to say: 'I missed you too' but he restrained himself. Instead, he guided Rin towards the bed. When they both fell on it, he told him: "Listen Rin, I'm tired and I haven't gotten any sleep those past two days. Tonight we're just going to sleep here. Okay?"

"Eh?" Rin felt weird. Not exactly disappointed – he wanted to believe so –, not exactly thrilled. He still got the intense desire to get up and start dancing conga though. "Okay!" He grinned and wrapped his arms around Neuhaus once again.

"I have the slight suspicion you're not listening to me." Neuhaus sweat-dropped.

"I am!" Rin protested happily and kissed him again. Neuhaus laughed a bit, and Rin did too. After a while, Rin was sleeping quietly in Neuhaus' arms, under the covers. Neuhaus was looking at Rin's sleeping face. It was time to make some important thoughts.

All of this had started off quite terribly. Just a couple of weeks ago. And now, he couldn't imagine his life without Rin, but the boy only had seven days left, or maybe less. Rin was a demon. Satan's son. The Vatican had unofficially asked for his extermination. And yet, Rin had made Neuhaus feel alive again. He had to admit that he hadn't seen anything evil upon him… He could have done many things to destroy the academy if he really was satanic. What he had seen, now that he was closer to Rin than anyone else, was genuine generosity, affection, optimism and kindness. The possibility of Rin being a goodhearted young boy suddenly didn't seem so bottomless.

And that, on the spur of the moment, opened his eyes. He felt sick. A wave of nausea took over, and he got up, trying not to wake Rin up. He scrambled towards the bathroom, feeling the intense need to throw up. He had raped a boy! He had raped and tortured a young boy, who had nothing to do with his personal drama! He had raped him, repeatedly! And just the other day, he fucked him, and now they were under the same sheets! A boy!

He grabbed his head and collapsed on the floor, unable to comprehend any of these. It was like reality was abruptly revealed in front of his eyes, and he couldn't cope. What was he doing those past few weeks? Why wasn't he seeing anything? He tried remembering Michelle, his wife. He used to be normal! He used to have a family, he used to play with his kids after work! He had a boy and a girl… How would he feel if they have lived on to be fifteen and then some old man at his age seduced his boy? He knew that what happened to them was terrible, he knew it was Satan's deed, but what did Rin have to do with all of this? Rin had been raised by the Paladin, Fujimoto Shirou. What if he really wasn't evil at heart? What did he do to him?

He was getting a terrible headache. No. He was just delusional. There was no way the person that carried Satan's genes was good! He was just growing soft because… because he was attracted to him! There was no hiding from it now. What had gotten into him? He didn't remember himself being a sick, homosexual pedophile! So why did he feel so good when fucking a fifteen-year-old boy? And it would be nice if it was just a fuck! He wanted to be near him, wanted to kiss him, wanted to hold him, never let him go!

"Oh my God…" He whispered, in horrifying realization. "I'm falling in love with him!" And that meant that he was falling for his own trap! He wanted to torture Satan's son and he fell in love with him instead! Of course… Of course Rin was demonic, that was the proof! There was no other way he'd fall in love with a boy! The demon was just toying with him that was all! He had to end this. Soon. Now!

He got up, stepped out of the bathroom and started searching through a bag he was keeping under the couch. He didn't need much time to pull out a dagger. It was pure silver, specialized in slaying demons. He clenched his fingers tightly around it. _"Don't let the Vatican down. You have a week."_ The Paladin's voice was ringing inside his head. That's right. What he was about to do wasn't just for him. He was given a task he had to fulfill. His lips had dried up. He licked them unconsciously, as he was gathering up his courage. He had to do it now, before he got too attached to the boy. He got up slowly, and then headed towards his room.

Rin was peacefully sleeping inside the red sheets, completely unaware of the danger. Neuhaus neared him carefully, he didn't want to wake him up. It would be infinitely more difficult if Rin was looking at him with his big, blue eyes when was about to kill him. Maybe he would even cry… Plead… Beg… His hands were shaking. He couldn't help but picture Rin doing all of those things. He raised the dagger above Rin. He had to finish it with one blow, so Rin wouldn't suffer… or open his eyes to see who was killing him. But his hand was trembling so much, he couldn't keep it stable. Rin seemed perfectly beautiful, lying on the side… His black locks were adorning his face, his pale, white skin was unmarred, his pink lips inhaling and exhaling softly… He remembered that he had tried doing this before. Before all of this started, but Yukio had saved him. Now Yukio wasn't there. And so many things had changed since then…

He lowered the dagger. He wasn't emotionally prepared for this. The kid had dug his way into his heart and it wasn't easy to just toss him out. He would first distance himself from him, let his feelings grow cold. He had a week. He turned and got out. He desperately wanted to lie next to Rin and hug him one last time, but that wouldn't help detach from him.

"So, let me get this straight." The next morning, Mephisto put down his newspaper and looked at Neuhaus over it, pondering. "You want one week's leave?"

"Five days, actually." Neuhaus clarified. "I have some business I need to take care of. I want exactly five days, starting tomorrow."

Mephisto raised his eyebrows, like trying to say 'what's that business you have to go to that I don't know anything about.' Mephisto just had to know everything about everyone. "That's not like you." He was intrigued. "But I guess that since you've never taken a leave before, you have the absolute right to do so." If something was going on, it would be very interesting. He signed some papers nearby. "You're ready to go."

"Thank you." Neuhaus bowed and walked away.

Rin threw himself into the class, having already lost the first two hours. "I'm sorry! I forgot to set on the alarm clock! I'm sorry!" He kept on apologizing. The truth was, he hadn't of course taken the alarm clock with him when he slept over at Neuhaus, and the damn teacher never woke him up! The bed was so warm and the sheets felt so good, Rin forgot that he had school and he decided to have a long lie-in, assuming that Neuhaus would wake him up when necessary. After a good couple of hours of extra getting lazy, he realized that Neuhaus wasn't in the apartment and that it was Tuesday, he had classes to attend! Neuhaus was so going to hear it from him at night…

"Now this feels like Okumura's old, dawdler self." Bon commented. "And I was wondering what was wrong with you those past few weeks."

"Bite me, it just happened!" Rin barked at him, irritated. He scanned the classroom with his eyes. "Where's Shura?"

She appeared behind him, yawning, still dressed in her pajamas. "Sorry I'm late kids. My bed insisted that I should stick with it some more." And she yawned again. Rin almost fell on the floor.

"See? You don't have to worry. You're not the only loafer around here." Kamiki informed him, clearly disapproving of Shura's behavior.

After some more hours passed, they all walked into the arena they were usually taming demons. There, they saw six beautiful, large ones that looked like antelopes. The only difference was wings on their sides and three pairs of eyes instead of one. Around their neck was a chain that held them on the ground and prevented them from going anywhere. Still, they were very impressive. Shima and Rin couldn't help but whistle. Nobody noticed the cage across them, which was covered by a large piece of clout.

"They are called Spheres." Neuhaus told them as he was stepping in front so they could see him. Rin was so dashed by them that he forgot he was sulking at him again. Neuhaus continued: "They are usually harmless, unless they go on a rampage along with their flock. They may have wings, but they can't use them a lot. They are very cowardly, especially when they come across their worst predator." He neared the covered cage, and grabbed the clout. "The Shark-Lizard." He pulled it down.

The class' blood froze in their veins. The Spheres started trying maniacally to escape, creating a great ruckus. The demons Neuhaus had just revealed were exactly what their name suggested. They had the head and the torso of a shark, but four green legs and a tail like a lizard's. They were downright ugly and hideous. There were three of them inside the cage, cutting circles, occasionally biting the bars with three rows of razor-sharp teeth, not hiding their displeasure for being locked up, especially with food in front of them. Shiemi took refuge behind Rin, trembling.

"As you can imagine, you wouldn't want to find yourselves unprotected in front of them." Neuhaus casually stated. "The Shark-Lizard is extremely vicious, with unbelievable power in its jaws, and an appetite that knows no boundaries. It has a killing fetish. Like normal sharks when it can't eat anymore, it will throw up and start all over again." Shima had started growing pale, so had Konekomaru. "It can be found both in ground and sea water. When tamed, becomes a perfect killing machine." He clapped his hands three times. The Shark-Lizards immediately nested down. "It's obedient only when the tamer is near, so they need lots of attention. I heard that two of you have already been qualified as tamers, so you'd better take good notice of it." He looked at them. He saw only Kamiki, looking at them with interest. "Where is Moriyama?"

Rin sighed and stepped at the side, revealing a trembling Shiemi. "H-here, s-sensei…"

What to tell her? "…Consider the possibility of signing up for Doctor as well, okay?" She nodded, still frightened. She didn't like the idea of taming those things. Neuhaus turned his back at them and continued: "I had to show both of them to you today, because we won't be having any lessons the rest of the week. I have to go away for five days… A little less enthusiasm would be fine Renzou, I can still see you." He added, when Shima shot his fist up the air from happiness at the prospect of less studying hours. Rin was left speechless. He'd leave? Again? To go where? Had he done something to piss him off? No way…

Suddenly, Tsubaki-sensei appeared in the class, running. "Neuhaus-sensei! Mr. Pheles says you have to meet him immediately! He has called everyone in his office!"

"I'll be right there." Neuhaus responded. "I'll be back soon." He turned to his students. "Touch any of the demons and I'll kill you." He left. Everybody thought it would be fine if he didn't seem so serious when saying things like that.

Soon, they found ways to pass the time. Rin was playing with Shiemi a game of words; Bon was talking with Kamiki about the different classes of exorcists and their pros and cons, while Shima was bragging at Konekomaru, outside the cage of the Shark-Lizards. "You see, I found this the day before in the library!" He presented at Konekomaru a circle with symbols upon a paper. "Cool huh? I copied it! …I wish I understood what it was about…"

"You copied a magic circle without knowing what it does?" Konekomaru raised his eyebrow.

"Oh, it was simple, so it mustn't do something so great… It was saying something about freedom and emancipation in the book, but didn't exactly describe…"

"It might be dangerous, give it to me!" Konekomaru grabbed the paper.

"No, it's not!" Shima dragged it back, and it got torn.

Everything happened in the blink of the eyes. An explosion was heard, the cage of The Shark-Lizards shot open as the lock was destroyed. Shima and Konekomaru screamed and ran, as all three of the demons were lashing. Before anyone could understand what was going on, they had attacked the Spheres, tearing their necks apart. Blood was dripping plenty on the ground, the rest of the Spheres were desperately trying to escape that awful fate, but they were bound down to suffer it, the others writhing in agony, everybody was screaming from fear, the blood of the Spheres was smeared all over their clothes, the tail of one Shark-Lizard hit Shiemi and threw her on the wall, her head almost cracked open and blood starting running down her temple, Rin lost it, blue scorching flames erupted and filled up the place mercilessly. Neuhaus heard the noise and ran immediately back in the arena, only to meet hell itself waiting.

He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Rin in his demon form, blue flames everywhere, the Shark-Lizards out, the Spheres slaughtered, each and every one of his students covered in blood and Shiemi lying down, unmoving, the blood painting her blond locks. _Son of Satan… son of Satan had brought hell. _"ENOUGH!" He roared, and clapped his hands. The Shark-Lizards sat down immediately. His voice brought Rin back too. His flames disappeared and he returned in his human form. Neuhaus ran towards Shiemi. Luckily, she was still breathing. _Poor girl, you got too close to him._ He couldn't help but think. She slowly opened her eyes. He picked her up. "Are you okay? I take you to the infirmary now."

"I'm okay, I'm okay…" She whispered. "It doesn't hurt that much, I just got scared…"

"Shiemi!" Rin ran towards them, but the glare Neuhaus shot at him had him petrified. He didn't think… He didn't think that Rin was responsible for this, did he? If he did… If he did, Rin was dead!

"I'll deal with you later." He told him coldly, and then turned away, with Shiemi in his arms. Rin wanted to call at him, tell him that he didn't do anything, but the words wouldn't come out. He fell on his knees, he couldn't comprehend how everything had just crashed into million pieces from one moment to another. Behind him, Bon and Kamiki were both worried and still scared, while Shima and Konekomaru were looking at each other, terrified. It was clear that Neuhaus was blaming Rin. They could walk away. Nobody saw them. Nobody knew what happened. If they told, they would one hundred per cent get expelled. But if they let Rin take the blame…

Neuhaus took Shiemi to the infirmary and stayed with her until the doctor assured him that she was alright and she wouldn't even need stitches. He didn't ask her what happened, he didn't want anyone to tell him that. He knew. He saw. If he wasn't such a coward, and had killed Rin yesterday, as he should have done, nothing of this would have happened. He would do it today. After what he saw, it shouldn't be that hard as yesterday night. When he'd see him, he would know.

He opened the door to get out, only to face Shima and Konekomaru. "What do you want?"

In his room, Rin was sitting at the edge of his bed, looking emptily at the front. Now he was sure that God hated him for being Satan's son. He hadn't done anything, yet, he'd die. He had ordered Kuro to go minutes before. Just sitting there and waiting for his fate… Like the Spheres… Exactly like them. Why couldn't he just die at the spot? There were times he wished that.

The door opened slowly and Neuhaus walked in. Rin looked straight into his eyes. "I didn't do anything." He told him. That was all he had to say, that was all he could do. "I didn't."

He felt like dreaming when Neuhaus bent and hugged him tightly. "I know." He told him. "I saw the surveillance cameras."

Rin shot up and hugged him back. He couldn't take any more commotion, he couldn't cry, he just cherished the moment. Something told him that Neuhaus would never believe him if he didn't see it with his own eyes through the cameras, but that didn't matter. He hugged him even more tightly.

Neuhaus laughed a bit. "What, you thought I would just accuse you without making sure first?" _Yeah I did. But they had to come and I had to watch the cameras to make sure. No way can I blame Rin now. _It was just so unfair. Each day Rin was proving that he was a nice person; Neuhaus had to get away from him as soon as possible. "Rin, you can't lose yourself every time one of your friends gets hurt. You threaten the rest of them."

"I know, I know…" Rin rubbed himself further in his arms. "Oh my God, thank you, thank you so much!" Someday, someday he would come to trust him, that was all Rin wanted. They remained hugged for another couple of minutes, and then Neuhaus broke the hug.

"I have to go." He told Rin, and kissed him on the forehead. "I'll be back in five days." And with that, he turned and left Rin alone. It was the last time he would show him affection, he had decided up on that.

_My God, thank you! _Rin thought and fell on his bed, exhausted by the long agony he suffered. Sleep came and took over him soon enough, dreamless.

And so, the five days passed. Shiemi got out of the infirmary and she was thankfully fine. Shima and Konekomaru never told the others what exactly had happened, but they were just grateful to get away with it. Rin couldn't help but notice that his life without Neuhaus was far freer from pain, fuller of potential and laughter, and yet something was missing. It wasn't sex. Rin never felt the need to be this intimate. Just… something… That's why when he learned that Neuhaus had returned, he went and met him at nine without hesitating, as it was already prearranged.

"So?" Neuhaus asked him when he walked into the apartment. "What happened when I was gone?"

Something in his voice felt colder than usual, but Rin shrugged it off. He turned his back at him – bad choice, as it was proved to be later. "Nothing special." He told him, grinning. "But you should have been from one corner and see Shura when she came drunk in class! She started tossing around the tests and dancing, Izumo almost had a heart attack!"

"Just the usual then." Rin could feel him nearing from behind.

"Yeah…" He ran a hand through his black hair. "Listen, I missed-"

He never finished his sentence. He felt suddenly a string wrapped tightly around his neck, pressuring it. He struggled, but he started suffocating, regardless of his tries to free himself. "What are you _doing_?" He let out, terrified, choking. This was a nightmare, it couldn't be real, it _couldn't_… His back was pressed tightly against his teacher's chest, trying to hold the necessary resistance for the string to go deeper and strangle more quickly. Rin was crying out, dipping his hands on his neck to grab it away from him, but it was futile.

"Tasked by the power of The Vatican, I'm vanquishing this demon." He heard him saying. His whole body was overcome by horror, this was the chanting done when exterminating a powerful demon, most importantly, a half-demon. He'd seriously kill him? "May the God find the power in his greatness and accept your tarnished soul…"

"N-Neuhaus…" Rin managed to choke out. "Stop…"

Neuhaus continued with louder voice. "…May God also find a way to forgive your sins and grant you peace. In his infinite kingship all the demons shall burn and disappear." Tears ran down Rin's cheeks and fell on Neuhaus' hands, as he was holding both ends of the string. Neuhaus' voice grew even louder. "Honor thy Father, he who rules all Heaven, may his wish come true in both heaven and earth, protect our lives and… forgive our sins…" Rin had gradually stopped putting up any actual resistance. He stopped thrashing and his voice lowered. His head was so close to Neuhaus' face, he could smell him, his aroma was filling his nostrils like a drug, Rin… Rin… Rin smelled of white roses. Only now had Neuhaus realized. "…as we forgive…" Rin's hands fell down, abandoning the try to free himself, "…the sins of our brothers…"

It was too much. Neuhaus let Rin go. He wanted to feel more of those white roses. He couldn't… He couldn't. Rin fell down choking and coughing, his hands at his neck, where a bruised line had appeared. It hurt, he couldn't think, he couldn't move further. Neuhaus let himself collapse on his knees on the floor. The rest of the prayer came in to his mind and he grabbed Rin, straddling him, pushing his hands away and wrapping his fingers around the bruised neck. He had to finish what he started. Rin screamed, kicked and thrashed, but to no avail.

"Neuhaus!" He got to yell before his neck was pressured violently once again. He grabbed Neuhaus' hands, trying to remove them, no such luck.

" …And oh please Father, don't ever let us sink into temptation." His expression hardened for one moment, but now he was facing Rin. He had forgotten how soft his neck was. He had filled it with kisses many times. That neck, those lips, those eyes… The silky black hair that smelled of white roses… The body he had taken against his will… Rin…

Rin's eyes widened. His neck had stopped hurting. He could breathe again, but that wasn't what made him that surprised. Above him, Neuhaus was crying.

He was shocked but still afraid. Tears were running down the only eye his teacher had left, filling up his face. "Oh Rin…" He sobbed. He pulled his hands away from Rin's neck and hugged him, lifting him up into a sitting position. "My cute Rin…" He embraced him tighter, crying louder at his shoulder, and with his body twitching, like he was mourning. It took a while for Rin to stop being afraid and hug him back, caressing him and trying to calm him down. This was madness… Was that what they called passion?

Neuhaus couldn't help but think only one thing. He had failed to kill Rin. What would happen to the boy now?


	8. Trapped

**A/N: I'm back! And ready to continue! Thanks to all of my reviewers, you guys are amazing! We have to make Neuhaus x Rin a serious pairing in the fanfiction world, I mean come on! Tall dark professor with a grudge against Satan and whatever related to him, HELLO yaoi fandom of Blue Exorcist, wake up, see something else besides the twincest! Again, I love everyone who reviewed! ;) **

Neuhaus continued holding Rin in his arms, without crying anymore but thrown off into the depths of his despair. It was too late. He had already fallen. Rin had become his everything that he just couldn't simply discard. Holding him was enough to feel like heaven. If he would just remain like this forever… But then he felt Rin moving, trying to break the hug. He resisted and held him tighter, but Rin continued trying to get away. "Let me go." He heard him saying.

"No." He replied. He was in such a fragile emotional state, that he didn't know what he might end up doing. He held him even more forcefully.

"You have to let me go. I can't stay here." Rin told him. He wasn't crazy enough to want to be near Neuhaus after what he did to him. The man was unstable. No matter how much he liked him, he wasn't stupid enough to put what had just happened aside and accept him again, nor to let that fake feeling of safety that was threatening to take over. "I have to get out."

Neuhaus knew where Rin was coming from. He grabbed him by the arms and pulled him away, but without letting him go, just so that they could look at each other in the eyes. Rin's neck was bruised all over, but it would start to heal quickly, the bruises were already fading. "Get out? To go where? To let another one of your friends get hurt, like the blond girl?" He played his last card. What did that have to do with anything? Was he that desperate to make Rin stay with him? He knew he didn't deserve it, and yet…

"I would never hurt Shiemi!" Rin yelled back at him, glaring. "I love Shiemi!"

Shock was immediately written all over Neuhaus' expression. Rin's last sentence kept playing over and over his head. _I love Shiemi! I love Shiemi! I love…_ Of course. Rin would never have for him the feelings he had developed for him. His stomach started to burn with an unknown form of fire. Something was poisoning him from inside making him extremely angry. It was the worst possible timing, considering how much vulnerable he felt at the moment. He wasn't just angry, he was furious. His hair covered his face. "When will you learn…" He was trembling from anger. He couldn't control himself, he slapped Rin hard, with all of his strength. Rin couldn't hold back a yelp, and he fell on the floor, face on the ground. "When will you learn that you are MINE!" Neuhaus barked at him. He straddled him and turned him around to face him, grabbing his arm. "Do you see this? Do you?" He tugged up his right sleeve and revealed the Vow, clutching his fingers tightly around him. Rin let out a pained cry and shook his head left and right in agony. "This means that you are mine! You get it? MINE!" He screamed the last word. Rin didn't know what to do. This was all too much… Suddenly Neuhaus tore his shirt away from his body.

Rin's eyes widened when he understood what was about to come. "NO! DON'T!" He screamed, but the older man wouldn't listen. He was sunk into a whirlpool of anger, jealousy, madness and despair. Not a pretty good mix. He had to make Rin his, he didn't care if Rin didn't want him. His hands started working on Rin's pants, trying to pull them down. "Don't, Neuhaus! Don't do this to me!" Rin cried out. He thought they had gotten over this, but apparently they hadn't… Rin had forgiven him for what he did before, but if he did it again, he knew he wouldn't be able to, and he didn't want that. "Snap out of it!" He slapped him.

That had an effect. Even though the slap was incredibly weak because of the Vow, it was enough to drag his attention. He looked at Rin's disheveled form, with wide eyes. He was… He was hurting Rin again, wasn't he?

Rin was looking at him with half-lidded eyes. "If you do it… If you do it, you'll lose me forever." He told him. It was true and final.

Neuhaus processed what he had just heard. He didn't have time for many thoughts. Strangely, he calmed down. He only had to say what he felt. It was clear now. "Rin, I might not love you right…" He told him, staring right into his eyes. "But I love you much." There. He said it. He got off of Rin by rolling at the side, sitting on the floor. They remained like this for a while, feeling each other's presence. Then Rin sat up and took Neuhaus' right hand into his own. Carefully, he placed it on his cheek. Like the first time Neuhaus had showed him kindness.

He looked at him. "Love me." He told him longingly. The bruise on his neck had disappeared. Neuhaus couldn't restrain himself. He grabbed Rin and kissed him fiercely. It wasn't so much later afterwards when they both fell on the floor, disposing of garments. Or when Rin lied back and felt Neuhaus fill him up and starting moving inside of him, giving him that pleasurable, intoxicating feeling. Rin didn't know where this would take him by allowing the other to do it, deep down he knew it wasn't wise, all he understood was that he loved the sensation… He loved it. He wrapped his arms around him and synchronized to the thrusts until morning.

The next day passed like any other regular day. Neuhaus was alone, gathering up scripts when somebody knocked at the door of the class. He knew who it was. He didn't bother to say come in. Angel opened the door and walked in, even uninvited, with all the style in the world. "Eighth day and Satan's son is still alive and kicking, from what I saw coming here. Maybe my eyes gave out on me?" He asked sarcastically.

"There were some… circumstances." Neuhaus shrugged. What to tell him? That he fucked with the kid the whole night instead of killing him?

"Yeah, that happens when you take five days leave!" Angel was clearly irritated. "I don't care what you thought you were doing; I see no results, and you won't have another chance! The Vatican has ordered his extermination, if you didn't understand, and you'll help with it whether you like it or not, or perhaps you would prefer accompanying Satan's son to his execution?" Angel took out his sword and banged it down for emphasis. Neuhaus still seemed uninterested. "Don't make the mistake of making Vatican your enemy. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by at least offering us Satan's son." Angel spat at him. "We'll trap him today. Yes or no?"

Neuhaus looked at him. He was expecting all of this. "Of course."

At nine, Rin went to Neuhaus once again. He was so confused about what was happening. He wanted to be near him and at the same time, he didn't. He figured he'd just give it some time to see where this would get him. "I'm here!" He announced, as he opened the door. The only thing sure was that he didn't expect such a welcoming.

Four guys fell on him and immobilized him at the spot, grabbing his arms and legs. One of them had a stun gun, and before Rin could manage to fight back, he felt electricity running through his entire body. It momentarily paralyzed him, somebody grabbed both of his wrists and tied them behind his back with handcuffs. Rin started struggling instinctively. "Hold him down, hold him down! The handcuffs are on!" He heard a voice from nearby.

"What the fuck! Let me go!" He barked at them. But he was one and they were four, they held him in place. Rin looked frantically around, trying to understand. This was _so_ out of the agenda...

There was someone there who could enlighten him. "Oh, the son of Satan." Arthur Augustus Angel appeared in front of him in all of his might. Rin glared at him. That guy was never good news. "I see you are as deceitfully beautiful and rabid as ever." Rin growled and tried to lash at him, but failed. "Please, don't attempt to free yourself. Your handcuffs are made by the same silver of demon cages. It suppresses your demonic powers." He informed him. "You see, Okumura Rin, the Vatican has ordered for you execution." Angel told Rin and approached him. Standing in front of Rin, he bent towards him, and ran his index finger on Rin's left cheek. "You see, for you, even living is a sin."

Rin turned and bit him. Angel hissed and took his bleeding hand away. "Don't you fucking touch me!" Rin spat at him, still glaring. Right then, he hated this guy's guts.

Angel gave him a wolfish, deranged smile. "My dear demon. Don't you worry. You'll be locked in the most secure anti-demonic cage there is in the Exorcists' prison, the last one deep inside. You see, the Vatican can't execute you out in public." He grabbed Rin by the neck, with his injured hand. "But boy, we'll be having fun!" He whispered sadistically, about a hair away from Rin's lips. Rin felt a hand from the men holding him sneaking inside his shirt. He trembled in fear, but mostly in anger. Who did they think he was?

"Like hell you're going to do it!" He kicked Angel at the shin, shaking him off. "Take your dirty hands off of me!" He thrashed around, screaming. Angel stepped behind, annoyed. Rin continued fighting, but he could feel them dragging him behind to take him out… somewhere. Agony overcame him. "No, no, no, NO!" He writhed around, making it difficult for them to restrain him. Rin wouldn't just give in at despair, he refused to do so. He'd faced situations much worse than this. Then why was he feeling that if they took him, everything would end? Yukio wasn't there, somebody to help…

And then he saw him. Neuhaus walked past behind Angel and appeared. "Neuhaus!" Rin called at him desperately. He was scared, he didn't want those men's hands one him, dragging him away. "Neuhaus, don't let them do that! Don't let them take me!" It was his last hope.

Neuhaus looked down at him indifferently. His gaze was cold, ruthless and aloof.

"Do I know you?"

Time froze for Rin. His eyes widened in terror, sorrow and disbelief, and he slightly gaped. The pain he felt at one instant was excruciating, his chest physically hurt! Was that the same man who told him he loved him just one day ago? Was that the same man he made love with, ignoring morals and everything, not only once, but twice? Was that the same man…

"BASTARD!" He screamed. All four of his captors flew in every direction, hit by enraged, blue flames. Rin had turned into demon form; the handcuffs weren't enough to prevent his rage and power from erupting. "If you KNOW me?" He hated him so much he didn't think it was possible to hate someone until that moment. His eyes were shining with a mixture of blue and red, his fangs were bared. He threw himself on Neuhaus, trying to strike him using his head, but his teacher easily held him down just by grabbing his head with his right hand, keeping a resistance. "I'll make sure you'll _never_ be able to forget me!" He bitterly barked, gritting his teeth as he was trying to break free from the handcuffs. He had never felt like this before, wanting to hurt someone so badly in every possible way. Now he_ felt_ demon. The guy that raped him, tortured him, humiliated him, tried to kill him, was now claiming that he didn't know him? How many times had they lied on the same sheets? How could he say that he forgot breathing in his neck? "Son of a bitch!" He couldn't believe this!

"Wow how scared I am." Neuhaus commented apathetically and shoved him back. Rin fell on the floor with his backside. Then he turned to Angel. "Do what you want with him."

"Oh no, you're not going to get away from me that easily!" Rin tried to shot up but Angel landed a hit at the back of his neck. The last thing Rin saw before losing consciousness was Neuhaus looking at him like he would never give a damn in the world.

Shima was walking around campus, holding a light and looking frightened around. Never again would he bet upon a test grade with Bon. And he wasn't scared of walking alone outside in the middle of the night! Okay, might not be exactly the middle, but…

Suddenly, he heard voices. He went and hid behind a nearby column, without knowing what exactly pushed him to do so. Probably some form of intuition. He carefully observed four high class exorcists walking out from the building in his right. They all looked shaken up and beat up. One of them was carrying something… someone on his shoulder. It was dark, he couldn't see well, but he noticed the Paladin shaking hands with Neuhaus-sensei, and then leaving him and walking behind them. …That something had a tail?

"Okumura-kun!" He realized, terrified. The figures were talking to each other. Shima struggled and he caught the words 'execution', 'Vatican', and 'last cell'. They were enough.

Bon and Konekomaru were still studying in their rooms, when Shima kicked the door and threw himself in, breathless. "Guys! Emergency! Something terrible happened!"

Bon looked at him watch, and then turned at Konekomaru. "Ten minutes. I told you. Pay up!"

"Stop it! I'm serious! Okumura-kun, they took him!"

"Took him? Who?" Bon shot up. Konekomaru looked worried around. The three guys looked at each other, trying to decipher what to do. The situation required radical measures.

"Well." Kamiki summed it up. The boys had called her and Shiemi to cast about Rin's rescue. "The Paladin, along with some loyal exorcists of his and with help from Neuhaus, kidnapped Rin secretly in the middle of the night, probably following orders by the Vatican. The 'last cell' you heard must mean the deepest one in demon prison, which is located outside the nearby forest. That means that they won't execute him immediately, but he doesn't have much time either. Clearly the Vatican is afraid of Mr. Pheles' reaction, but even if we told him, now they can still deny everything." Kamiki frowned. "This is a great pinch."

"Poor Rin!" Shiemi was ready to cry.

"We can't sit here!" Konekomaru shouted. "We have to go and save him! Then we can tell what happened to Mr. Pheles and ask for his protection!"

"Of course that's what we would do!" Bon shot back at him. "There's no way we can leave Okumura in their hands!" He got up. "We will go right now!" His friends looked at each other and nodded. Even if what they were about to do was too risky, there wasn't a single one of them not willing to take it for Rin's sake. As they were getting ready to leave, the door of the room opened and they froze, looking at Neuhaus, realizing that their plan had failed before it started.

Down in demon prison, Angel had just thrown Rin into the cell. "You told us it was safe with the handcuffs!" One of his underlings said to him, terrified. He was the one that had touched Rin. Rin's flames might have not burned him, but they had scared the hell out of him. "You told us to do that kind of things to him, that he deserved them! That he couldn't resist!"

"You're still weaklings that can only nag! Get out!" Angel barked and they disappeared. Angel walked into the cell, where Rin was lying face down, starting to stir, locking the bars behind him. He kneeled next to him. "Wake up, Satan's offspring." He crooned.

"Shut up." Rin had a terrible headache, he didn't move further. He preferred not to think about Neuhaus. He desperately wanted to get his mind out of him, he had to talk to Angel and keep up the talking for as long as possible. "What are you planning to do with me?"

"Many things…" Angel ran his fingers on Rin's back, caressing it. That action was so cold that Rin shivered. When Neuhaus was caressing him, even in the first times, his touch had a kind meaning behind it. Now this was threatening and aggressive. "First off, we're going to start by simple methods of torture. Boiled water, pulling off nails, drowning, small cuts… you know, the soft stuff." He smirked. "Then, we'll pass on to whipping, stabbing, breaking a bone or two, and when you'll be too weak to resist…" He dipped his fingers into Rin's hair. "We'll explore that beautiful body that Satan gave you to its fullest." Rin opened his eyes, was that man telling him to his face that he was going to get gang-banged? Angel turned Rin around to face him.

"You…" Rin stayed staring at him in the eyes for some moments. Angel's appearance was exactly as his name described, but what he was saying didn't match. "You are a childhood friend of Shura's, aren't you?"

Angel chuckled. "Why do you bring her up right now? She's not going to save you."

Rin turned his head at the side. "I just thought that if Shura likes you, or if she ever liked you, you will do nothing of what you just said."

Angel's face hardened. Was Satan's son mocking him or something? He kept himself under control. "Too bad for you kid, she and I never really got along. I actually hate her guts, and the feeling is mutual." That was a lie, but he wasn't obligated to give any kind of explanations! He opened Rin's legs and sat between them. Rin didn't resist. Angel wasn't violent, but he had some kind of power to keep others in place. He was intimidating; he acted angelic, calm, composed. "You said that I wasn't going to do anything, but believe me, I know many people who would pay just everything and kill their grandmothers to have a chance to play with you." He cupped Rin's cheek and Rin trembled. It was so cold… "But you know, I like playing with my toys when they are still fresh and new before I sell them to others. You want me to show you?" He pulled Rin's shirt up.

Rin was so tired of feeling scared, but fear overcame him once again. A man's hands were roaming on his body, on his bare flesh. Another man's hands. He tensed and arched his back to shake him off, but it was futile of course. Another man couldn't have him! Neuhaus, Neuhaus… he wanted him back! He could hurt him all he wanted, Rin didn't care anymore; the only body that was allowed to possess him was his! Only the thought of someone else's hands… Angel leaned and kissed Rin's tummy, dipping his tongue into his belly button. Someone else's lips… Something hard was pressuring itself against his leg… Someone else's dick inside of him! No!

Rin hadn't actually resisted until then, so Angel was taken aback when Rin suddenly kicked him in the stomach, almost sending him flying away from him. "BACK OFF!" Rin roared at him, infuriated. "I'm not your _toy_!"

"Gutsy, huh?" Angel clutched at his stomach, his eyes gleaming dangerously and smiling. "Wouldn't be fun if you were anything else than what you are." He kicked Rin's legs open and sat between them, this time holding Rin by his arms and pinning him down. Rin was paralyzed, unmoving, abandoned. What could he do to get out of this hopeless situation?

"Kiss me."

Angel's eyes widened. "What?"

"Kiss me." Rin repeated, his eyes half-lidded. His only hope was to seduce the guy in front of him. "What are you afraid of? Wasn't that on the menu?" He smirked at him. "As I said, you won't do anything…"

Angel let Rin's arms free. "Why would you ask me to kiss you?" He narrowed his eyes.

Rin didn't know if it was a deranged form of getting revenge or a desperate way of escape. All he could think about was if Neuhaus would get the tiniest bit hurt if he saw him with someone else. Slowly, he sat up, bringing himself closer to Angel. "Because if you do…" He brought his face closer to the other guy's, staring into his eyes, who were still looking him with skepticism and disbelief. "If you are kind to me…" He leaned and whispered the next words into Angel's right ear. "I'll make sure to give you much more pleasure than you would ever be able to take by force."

Angel stood there, petrified, considering the bargain. He never thought Rin would offer something like this. But of course! This was Satan's son! He'd never have any hesitation to propose something like this! He chuckled, very pleased. "Well then…" He grabbed Rin's face to make him face him one more time. For starters, he would make him give him a blowjob. He didn't expect to see Rin's face full of tears.

Rin wasn't sobbing, he wasn't whimpering, just tears were roaming by themselves on his face. "So it's true… It's impossible for me." Rin closed his eyes. "I'm sorry… I can't do what I just told you." He said to the stunned Angel in front of him. "Sometimes I wish I really were what you guys are calling me… a monster." Angel shockingly let go of his face and Rin fell back on the ground, softly.

Angel got up and for a reason, his mood was totally ruined. He got out of the cell, banging the bars behind him, and then out of the room. After ten minutes he was back, furious and embarrassed, when he understood what had happened. "You think I'll let you manipulate me like that? Nice try but it won't work so easily, oh no!" He got back in and forgot to lock the cell behind him, as he fell on Rin, who was still lying down as when he left him.

Rin fought, but he had the suspicion that the bars and the handcuffs were sucking off his energy. He hadn't consciously tried to manipulate anyone, but thinking it back, yeah, he had done it. He whimpered, as Angel was trying to remove his clothing. "No, no…" He writhed in the other's hands.

"What's going on here?" A very, very familiar voice was heard. Rin didn't know if he had wanted to hear it or not. Neuhaus had just walked into the room.

Angel had gained back his arrogance and confidence. "I'm just playing a little with him." He placed his hand on Rin's chest for emphasis. "You want to join me?" He felt the body under him trembling uncontrollably, and that pleased him. Rin, on the other hand, was sure that he was starting to go insane. Just some minutes ago he had thought that it would be more than okay if he were to be in Neuhaus' arms once again, but the mere _possibility_ that this would happen with another guy was making him want to die. Two guys? Neuhaus was going to hold him down for another guy to fuck him? If they wanted to kill him, why couldn't they just do so!

"Playing with him?" Neuhaus chuckled. "You can't handle him." He told Angel, who narrowed his eyes. "He's going to trick you, bite you, and push you around until you grow tired of him. He'll never let you touch him."

"Excuse me, but allow me to say that I have the title of the strongest Exorcist for a reason." Angel contradicted him. "There's nothing easier than taking him right now!" He shoved two fingers into Rin's mouth, who bit them with all of his strength. Angel hissed and pulled them out, blood was starting to run down. Neuhaus snickered.

"Now, you wouldn't want that to be your dick, would you? Let me show you, before you lose a finger or something much more valuable of yours." He got in the cell, approaching Rin, who had started losing it. Angel got up and observed him carefully, not especially liking him.

"No… Get away from me!" Rin desperately yelled at him, sat up and tried to scramble away but when Neuhaus came and kneeled behind him, he couldn't say or do anything else. He fought to get away, but Neuhaus wrapped his arms around him and held him in place. Every moment, every fragment of second was painful to Rin. He longed for this embrace; he could smell Neuhaus, he could feel his body warmth. Still, it was bound to haunt him. "No…" He twitched, but still felt Neuhaus' fingers upon his lips, caressing them carefully. His touch shouldn't hurt that much!

"You see, demons have to be tamed." Neuhaus informed the surprised Angel, as he watched him sinking his fingers into Rin's mouth and Rin not resisting at all. "Each demon has a special way of getting tamed. Half-demons are trickier." He licked the back of Rin's ear, and Rin started crying.

"No…" He managed to say. Then he felt Neuhaus' tongue on his neck. "No… disgusting…" But still he didn't move.

"Don't act so high and mighty just because of that damn Vow." Angel shot at him. "The only thing that allows you this is the stupid Vow!" It wasn't the best for Angel's ego to see that a lower-class exorcist than him was having a way to do what he wanted with Satan's son that he hadn't!

"At least I was clever enough to make him take it." Neuhaus responded, and continued running his tongue on Rin's neck. Rin knew now that every action was prearranged from the very start. The Vow, the kind gestures, the loving, the confessions, all were planned out to make Rin hurt more. Nothing had changed between them from the first time he was raped. Why did he hate him that much? How _could_ he hate him that much? Rin would never… He would never do that to someone!

_I love you!_ Rin thought with all of his heart. _No matter what you do to me, I'll still love you so much..._ He didn't know what kind of love he was burning from, it wasn't lust, it was beyond that. Neuhaus was the first one to show him true, unconditioned love, and even if it was fake, even if it was a lie, it was everything Rin had ever wanted. He leaned back in his teacher's chest. _I love you…_

His eyes widened when he felt Neuhaus putting something in his hand and closing it tightly afterwards. It was small, metallic… it was a key! Neuhaus bit him at the neck to make him yelp and prevent him from giving them away. Rin quickly got the point. "No… stop it…" He kept whining. Neuhaus let him and he fell backwards, securing his closed fist with the key away from Angel's eyes.

"Let's go." Neuhaus prompted Angel, who was still looking at Rin's form with narrowed but slightly softened eyes. "We have better things to do."

"You're not in any position of ordering me around!" Angel told him angrily, but walked past him and outside the room nonetheless. He still hadn't notified the Vatican. Neuhaus followed him, glancing at Rin one last time before he closed the door behind him.

Rin shot up. He didn't have any time for thoughts; he quickly used the key to get rid of his handcuffs. He threw them away, loathing them. Now that he had gotten rid of them, what to do? He couldn't simply rampage inside the prison… He heard footsteps. Had somebody come to guard him? He got right into fighting position, the door opened… And he saw Bon!

"Okumura! Are you okay?" Bon ran inside and right up the bars. Rin was so happy he started wagging his tail.

"Bon! Everyone!" He said right after, when he saw Shima, Konekomaru, Shiemi and Kamiki following him. Kamiki folded her arms across her chest.

"We came to save you… again." She smirked, and then took out a key from the pocket of her skirt.


	9. Betrayal Or Not

**A/N: Remember how I said in the previous note: 'no more rape'? I decided against that! Enjoy! ;) **

Rin soon found himself fleeing, running along with his friends. He couldn't believe his luck that he had such amazing people at his side. Nothing he could say would be enough to thank them, they had risked everything just to come and get him out. As they were running through the corridors and climbing up the stairs, Rin couldn't help but notice guards lying on the ground, scattered everywhere, unmoving. "What happened to them?" He asked, a bit worried, not for those creeps that wanted to harm him, they could rot in hell for all he cared, but for his friends. They couldn't afford to cause permanent damage.

"It's all thanks to Moriyama-san." Shima smiled and Shiemi blushed.

"I just happened to know some plants that can be used to make sleeping drugs." She modestly answered. "They are okay, but it'll take them a couple of hours to wake up and be able to move."

"Shiemi, you're the best!" Rin grinned at her and Shiemi blushed even more. They had reached the final floor, almost gotten to the exit, freedom was near the corner.

"After we turn right from here, the door leads outside." Kamiki informed them. "The woods are very close, so we can easily hide there. We've knocked out the guards outside of course, but we have to be careful either way, back up might have arrived." Rin nodded in understanding. They turned and saw the door. But what Rin saw and made him freeze in his tracks was Neuhaus standing next to it, looking at them, obviously expecting them to show up. Rin wouldn't move, just stare at him.

"Okumura-kun…" Konekomaru pushed him softly forward. "It's alright. Neuhaus-sensei was the one that got us in. He told us what we had to do to get you out."

"And it never occurred to you that it _might_ be a trap?" Rin glared, without taking his eyes away from the man he unfortunately loved. He didn't know what to make out of this. Neuhaus' motives were no longer clear to him.

Bon grabbed him from the wrist. "Even so, what choice did we have?" He looked Rin in the eye. "It was a risk we were all willing to take if it meant saving you." Rin almost blushed at those words. "Come on, we have to go!" He tried to drag him, but Rin kept still. He had reached a point of not trusting his own shadow.

Neuhaus kicked behind and the door opened wide. "They are not going to be sleeping forever." He urged them to go. "I didn't see you and you didn't see me."

Everyone nodded and heeded out. The last ones to go were Bon and Rin. Just before they passed the doorway, Rin stopped and freed himself from Bon's grasp. He gestured to wait for him a bit and Bon sighed. Everybody was waiting too. Rin turned to Neuhaus. "Sensei."

Neuhaus almost rolled his eyes. "What is it?"

He never understood when the heck Rin grabbed him by the collar, stood on the tip of his feet and kissed him lightly on the lips. In front of his entire class! Neuhaus was _this_ close to get an instant heart attack. "W-Why you…" He managed to stutter when Rin left him. He'd swear he had blushed! Had he blushed? Could his students see him blushing? And that brat had the nerve to smile! "Get him out of my sight before I change my mind!" A vein was popping on his forehead. Bon rushed and grabbed Rin once again. Some seconds later, they had disappeared in the woods.

Neuhaus leaned onto the wall, touching his lips without realizing. _That brat…_ He thought. He shouldn't be this happy about a little kiss.

After a couple of hours and lots of running later, the gang had stepped into academy's grounds so they were safe. They stayed, breathing heavily, to catch their breaths. "Wow, it is a long way to go without using portals!" Shima commented, and then fell on the ground. Neuhaus had taken them to the prison using a portal so the running now was quite hard. "I think I'll stay here for a while. Wake me up tomorrow."

"Get up! We still have to go inside!" Bon snapped at him, and then turned to Rin. "And you, Okumura! What were you thinking? Did you just kiss the professor or did my eyes give out on me?" Bon couldn't help but blush mentioning the kiss.

"Eh? No I kissed him." Rin grinned innocently. "It is my way of saying thanks!"

"Aw, that's so sweet!" Shiemi squealed. Kamiki rolled her eyes and Konekomaru sweat-dropped. They didn't know what Rin was thinking but it was like him to do stupid and unpredictable things, and such was for Shiemi to agree with them.

"Seriously." Bon raised his eyebrow.

"Yeah. Want to see?" Rin neared Bon who was looking at him with wide eyes. "Thank you, Bon!" He grabbed him by the collar and tried to kiss him too, and Bon would be totally okay with it had they been all alone and not in front of all of their friends. Now he locked Rin's head under his arm and squeezed it. "Ouch, ouch!"

"Save your gratitude to show it in much more traditional ways!" He scolded him, but inside he was crying. He wanted to say 'you can show me later' but he wouldn't be able to pass it as a joke… That could have been his only chance to kiss Rin! He seriously felt like crying.

"Then, Shiemi?" Rin grinned. Shiemi blushed and Kamiki stepped in front of her, glaring at him.

"As if, you idiot!" Bon squeezed him even harder and Rin giggled. Gradually, everybody started laughing, relieved from the adventure they had just been through. Bon couldn't but notice that Rin was incredibly beautiful when smiling and laughing. Rin was cute when he was happy… _Rin-is-not-cute-Rin-is-not-cute-Rin-is-not-cute_, he inwardly repeated like a mantra, but reality was getting the best of him. And Rin was happy. Being with them was all he needed to be happy. He wanted Yukio near too…

Their escape was soon noticed. Much to Neuhaus' surprise, Angel didn't seem so motivated to go and catch Rin. Mephisto had contacted the Vatican and the Gregori were too busy fighting among them to give out any specific orders. They stayed one more day in prison, trying to make ends meet, and then they were allowed to leave. So Neuhaus got back to his place and fell on the couch, trying to relax. Being a spy for Mephisto was never an easy job, but this one had been especially hard on him. He didn't know if he wanted to hurt Rin or not, what was pushing him to act so crappy towards him and then save him the last moment. It wasn't necessary to torment him that much, yet he was finding a deranged form of pleasure in this. Maybe because Rin didn't love him the same way?

Rin was a good kid. Neuhaus accepted that fact with the same joy he would accept his own death sentence. For it was a death sentence. Something inside him had died and he was never going to find it again. It died from the moment he tried to kill Rin. Maybe some fragments of it still remained inside of him, because he never got to finish the sin. How many sins had he committed since he met Rin? Was that what was making Rin a demon? No. It was time to stop blaming others and face the consequences of his actions. Rin didn't obligate him to rape, torture, or attempt to kill him. Sure he could be short-tempered and violent, but those traits were far from making him evil. He was far from perfect, but even when all clues were pointing at his direction, like the Spheres incident, the truth always supported him. How could someone who was able to make other people deal with their responsibilities be evil? His classmates could have let him take the blame and get away with it, yet, they came and confessed, proving themselves to be more than classmates, true friends. Neuhaus didn't believe in friendship, but because of this, he went and found them. He was ready to plead and beg them if he had to, but someone had to save Rin and it couldn't have been him. He wouldn't let Rin in Angel's hands either way, but he was afraid that he might be tempted to do so. Discard Rin as a demon and let them have their way with him. If he did that, how could he live with himself?

It was too late for that. Even now it was impossible to live with himself. Impossible. He touched his lips, where Rin had kissed him. On top of everything, he had seduced the boy. Rin loved him with his own way. How could he? Was he a masochist or something? He wasn't exactly sane, obviously, but what could a boy who had been raised without a mother and had recently found out that his father was a monster, seek? Neuhaus couldn't know that. But he was sure that whatever it was Rin was seeking, it wasn't him. It shouldn't be him.

He had raped the boy. He closed him eyes and groaned, hiding his face in his hands. So that was how it felt to live knowing you have hurt the person you love the most, hurt him worse than anybody else had hurt him before. He remembered the day he had first raped him, and felt an intense desire of moving into Gehenna and face punishment from Satan himself. What were even worse were the times after that. The way Rin was trying not to make a noise while he was being fucked by him, the way he would close his eyes tightly and wouldn't look at him, the way he would cry soundlessly curled into a corner afterwards. Neuhaus had heard him cry lots of times, when he was in the shower, cleaning himself. Rin thought that the sound of the running water was covering his sobs and hiccups, but it wasn't enough. Neuhaus could only think that Rin was crying as he was cleaning the blood running down his thighs, maybe even slid a finger in himself to take out all of the semen inside… This was all so sick… What had he done?

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He looked up at the clock, it was nine. He got up and opened the door, to face the object of his thoughts right in front of him. "Um… hi." Rin said, looking left and right, but not at Neuhaus. Was he feeling awkward? That was the least!

Neuhaus' hand gripped tightly the doorknob. "Go home Rin." He told him and closed the door. Maybe they could just forget all of this.

Okay, who was he kidding? The knocking was heard again, this time more intensely. Neuhaus tried to ignore it, but after two seconds he gave up. He opened up and saw Rin with his arms folded across his chest, glaring, this time straight at his face. "You think you can do whatever you've done to me and then toss me away that simply? Know some damn shame."

Another stab in the heart. What could he answer, when Rin was absolutely right? Neuhaus lowered his eyes. "I just want to hug you." Shit, had he just say that?

Rin's eyes widened for a bit and then he smiled kindly. "Do something about those mood swings, will you?" He told him, and then went on and hugged him. Neuhaus hugged him back, but he was hurting. His arms were full of white roses once again. It was so wonderful and so excruciating. He guided him to the bedroom, they fell on the sheets and they just slept there. Neuhaus hadn't gotten any sleep because of yesterday's action, and he honestly preferred not to think about anything else. If he could just stay there, smelling those white roses, it would be enough.

But the next day came, and the day after that, and the day after that. Every single day became all the more impossible to bear. Neuhaus had learned well how to cover his sentiments. He appeared as usual, doing classes, reporting to Mephisto, attending conferences about the Vatican, hugging Rin every night. All those things he had done to him and still, he was unable to get his hands off of him. He was the worst. The lowest. What demons, what monsters, he was the real deal. At least he had restrained himself and hadn't done it with the boy again since that night they made love for the second time. They were just sleeping inside each other's arms. If they did it, what would it be? Love, sex, rape? There was no way to know that. Maybe if he asked Rin? No, he couldn't stoop _that_ low. And now he had resorted at walking around the school, like patrolling. He had to do something. He couldn't live on, bearing such guilt.

Rin was left in class alone; thanks to Shima he had gotten a detention. Try to persuade Shura that the porn magazines under the desk are not yours, when Shima is looking at you with puppy dog eyes, begging to be saved, Shiemi can't even look at you from embarrassment and Kamiki's scornful glare shines on you. Damn! Now he was just sitting in his seat and looking outside – Shura was sure that he wouldn't leave so she left him alone too. Rin didn't have another choice than to think about Neuhaus.

He had understood that something was tormenting him, after all, he had become much more quiet and calm. Maybe it was the dead calm before the storm? He shivered. If that was true, he wouldn't want to be there when the storm would arrive. Lately, he couldn't understand him. None of his actions was making sense. Was he afraid of something? No way… Rin didn't know if it was safe being near him. It never was, but…

"Am I interrupting your musing?"

Rin turned and faced Angel at the doorway. He glared. The blond man smirked and walked towards him. "What do you want?" Rin said in a quiet and menacing voice. He got up.

Angel shrugged, and continued approaching Rin. "I have just been tasked to inform you that the Gregori came to an agreement and it favors you. The Vatican will never again try anything against Okumura Rin, the son of Satan. He is officially considered an ally." Angel extended his hand at Rin. "We hope you can forgive that one misstep. We'll be looking forward to work with you in the future."

Rin eyed him suspiciously. He wasn't carrying his sword, and he didn't seem to have a hidden weapon. Carefully, he gave his own hand and they exchanged a handshake. When it was over, Angel wouldn't let go of his hand. Rin was immediately alarmed. He looked up at the blond man. "Let go of me."

"No." Before realizing it, Rin found himself in Angel's arms. The bastard had pulled him towards him and now he had wrapped his hands all around him! Rin started struggling.

"Let go of me you creep!"

"Calm down, okay? I won't hurt you!" Rin stopped thrashing and he raised an eyebrow at him. Angel gritted his teeth and looked away. This boy in his arms felt really good. "You just asked me something the other day in the cage and I thought I would pass by and give it to you."

Rin looked at him bewildered. "I asked something?" He questioned. "I don't remember asking you for anything!"

Angel narrowed his eyes and smirked. "Oh really. You don't. Well, let me remind you." He leaned and kissed him fully in mouth, gripping him more tightly.

Due to the shock, Rin didn't resist. The other's action just couldn't register in his mind. He came around when he felt a tongue asking for entrance in his mouth. He opened hesitantly and as soon as Angel enthusiastically took advantage of that, he bit it hard.

"Ouch! Damn you!" Angel broke the kiss but didn't let Rin out of his arms. "Would you just relax? I'm not going to do any more than this! It's just a kiss!" He told him, pissed off, but turned on as well. Now that he had gotten a taste of Rin he wanted it properly. "What's your problem?"

"What's my problem?" Rin couldn't believe in his ears. "My problem is that I don't want another man to kiss me!" He pointed out. "I'm sorry, I don't swing this way!" Whatever was happening with Neuhaus was irrelevant…

"It's just a kiss Rin." Angel underlined. Rin tried again to break the embrace but Angel was stronger. "Look, I'm not going to let you go, so be quiet and let me kiss you. It'll be over in less than a minute. What do you have to lose?" Great, now he had resorted to negotiating.

Rin weighed him with his eyes. No harm could be done by a mere kiss, but he'd be damned if he ever trusted the Paladin! Angel was looking at him weirdly. Oh well. If it meant that he could get rid of him this way. And if he tried more, he was unarmed, while Rin had his flames. If things came to worst, he would just give him a nice burning. Wait! What if that was his purpose? To have him attack? Oh, the school was full of people, he could just scream out. The Paladin's reputation was more precious to him than Rin's. Anyway, for now, he decided to grant him this favor. He stopped struggling and closed his eyes, waiting.

Angel's lips had dried out, he licked them. Rin was waiting to be kissed by him; he would allow him to kiss him! "Oh holy…" He whispered before leaning in. Temptation… It was nice to give in to it once in a while. First he kissed the soft, pink lips lightly, and then he deepened the kiss, sinking his tongue into the boy's mouth, exploring every angle of its inside. Rin tasted very sweet. This was by far the best kiss he had ever given until then, he could feel himself harden just by that. Rin moaned and Angel almost came at that. Okay, Rin thought, the guy had technique, but he wasn't as good as…

The door opened. Neuhaus saw Rin in Angel's arms, engaged in the kiss. Hm, so that was the sound heard when your entire world starts crashing down. Interesting. Suddenly everything became too empty, too meaningless. "Rin?"

They broke the kiss. When Rin saw Neuhaus at the door, his eyes were doubled in size by horror, and he pushed violently Angel away from him. He didn't have anything to say, he just stared at his teacher.

Angel understood the tension. He coughed discreetly. "Excuse me." He muttered and then disappeared, his hand on his mouth. This was dangerous, he had to get away. He couldn't afford being seen attacking sexually a young boy, let's say it wouldn't be acceptable of the church. He had to get out and secure himself an alibi, just in case.

Neuhaus looked at Rin, expressionlessly, masking his feelings. He didn't know how he felt. Disappointed? Hurt? Betrayed? Angry? Sad? All of them? None of them? He had taken a decision. If it was impossible to live on bearing the guilt, he just wouldn't live on. What was the point anymore. But that would hurt Rin. Would it? Really? He wasn't sure anymore. Either way he had to hurt him differently. He had to make him hate him. And destroy the last fragments of _it_… of what he had lost. It was once called a soul, wasn't it?

Rin opened and closed his mouth without a word coming out of it. He wanted to say things like: 'I didn't want it, he forced me!' or 'I just did it so I could get rid of him!' but he knew that there was no excuse for what he had done. So what finally came out was entirely different. "Don't look at me like I cheated or something! We were never in a relationship to start with!" Oh damn it, SO wrong! He trembled at what he said. "I mean… I mean… what I mean is… I…"

Neuhaus proceeded to grab him by the arm and lead him out of the classroom. His bangs were covering his one eye. Rin couldn't free himself, but he desperately wanted to continue ranting. The school was empty already? Could he talk out in the open? He gulped and waited until they arrived at Neuhaus' apartment. Neuhaus shoved him in and Rin continued immediately:

"Listen to me, please, listen to me!" He raised his arms, anticipating an attack. "When I was in the cage, I had tried to seduce him. I thought you had abandoned me, I didn't know what else to do to save myself! I asked him to kiss me but in the end, I couldn't let him do it. He came today and said that he'd leave me alone if I let him kiss me just once, so I did! That's what happened! I'm not doing it with him, I'm not even attracted to him!" What else could he say but the truth?

Neuhaus raised his eyebrow. "Really? Why not?" Rin looked at him incredulously. He seemed so cold, so empty, so remote. "He's young, he's impressive, and he's rich. Perfect, some people might say. Why wouldn't you do it?"

"What are you saying?" Rin wanted to cry. "It didn't mean anything! I don't want to do it with anyone but y-"

"Oh please Rin, don't pretend that you like me." Neuhaus interrupted him sharply. "We both know that's impossible to like the person who does the things I do to you." He approached him with steady steps.

"T-The things… you do…" Rin stepped back until he met the wall. Not good. He looked at the door behind his teacher's back. He couldn't get there in time.

"Yeah. Seems like we forgot about what we were doing here for a while. It's time to reminisce, don't you think?" And with that, he punched Rin in the stomach with all of his strength. Rin coughed and fell on his knees, clutching his torso desperately. Neuhaus didn't let him time to breathe. He violently kicked him and Rin rolled over two rounds by the force, ending up face down. He tried to scram up, but Neuhaus stepped on his back and pinned him down the floor. Rin cried out, but Neuhaus kept applying pressure. Rin could feel his chest being crushed against the hard floor, breathing was painful, moving was painful, everything was. Even thinking. Neuhaus took his leg away but then he grabbed him by the hair and dragged him across the floor.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please forgive me!" Rin started crying. "I won't do it again! I won't do it, I promise, oh please forgive me!" What else could he do? When Neuhaus was being like that he was scared, oh so scared… "It didn't mean anything! It didn't mean a thing!" He shook desperately his head in denial. Neuhaus didn't respond. It was like he wasn't hearing a word. He tossed Rin on the bed, removed his tie, tore away his shirt, and then turned him around and tied his wrists behind his back. All these were far too familiar… "No…" Rin let out soullessly. It wasn't like the last time, his teacher wasn't in the middle of an enraged outbreak. He was totally calm and collected. Now he knew what he was doing. But wasn't the bottom line the same?

"_When will you learn that you are MINE!"_

This time he had screwed up big deal. "I didn't mean to hurt you…" He managed to say, stiflingly. "Why won't you believe me…?"

_You don't understand, Rin. _Neuhaus thought sadly, as he ignored him and pulled down his pants, leaving him totally naked. _You kissing someone else is not the reason I'm doing this. It was a mere pretext. It doesn't even matter anymore. _Does it? Even so, Neuhaus couldn't feel it. That scene had hurt him enough for his heart to grow as cold as it was needed to do this. Because it just proved that Rin didn't love him as he loved him. He knew he was besotted with Rin. Knowing that the feelings would never be returned was making him want stop living. And that was exactly what he would do. Rin had to hate him, in order to feel glad upon the fact that Neuhaus would stop existing. Because it was true that Rin did love him a bit.

"_If you do it… If you do it, you'll lose me forever."_

_Exactly._ He mused. He climbed on the bed and mounted Rin, who was on his knees and face down, holding him in place by wrapping his left arm around his waist. Rin looked behind and saw him unzipping his pants. This was too much, he couldn't get through all of this again. It was different when they were making love, this wasn't love, this was pure…

"NO!" He suddenly screamed and tried to shake his body away. Neuhaus was surprised, but he still managed to hold him in place. "No! No! Don't do this! I don't want to do this!" Rin's old tears hadn't dried up when fresh ones roamed his cheeks. "I don't want this, please… Not again… Somebody… Anybody! Help…" _Yukio, Yukio, Yukio! Where are you? Why? Why did you forget me? Why? _

Neuhaus took his dick out. He had to rub it to get it properly hard to go in. Sure, Rin's hole was gaping just in front of him, but he wasn't sure he could feel anything ever again. And now, Rin's sobs weren't anymore music to his ears. _Poor boy._ He just thought, but didn't hesitate to shove all of his length in with one single thrust. He had just died.

Rin couldn't even let out his voice from the pain. He stayed quiet for some seconds. But when Neuhaus started moving, he let out whimpers. Whimpers turned into sobs, sobs turned into cries, cries turned into screams. Rin had his face hidden in the pillow, unable to look at what was happening. It was tearing him up all over again, burning him, torturing him. He thought… He honestly thought that this was over… That the man above him truly loved him… If he did love him, why was he hurting him that much? If he didn't, why would he bother save him? Why would he bother fucking him gently the other day? This was all so messed up…

He finally turned and looked at him. He had such a stony expression on his face, just leaning down and fucking him, mechanically, like he wasn't getting any pleasure out of this. He was wearing that expression through this entire ordeal today. He finally caught Rin's eyes and looked back. "It hurts…" Rin whispered. "It hurts… please forgive me!"

Neuhaus grabbed Rin's head and buried it in the pillow again. He continued moving back and forth, in and out. Rin's body was as delicious as always. But with every thrust, he felt like stabbing himself over and over again. He was causing Rin so much pain, he didn't want to see his eyes. Rin continued to ask crying for his forgiveness, and Neuhaus kept reminding himself that it had to be done. Even if it felt like killing himself, killing what had remained inside. He sped up and after some moments, released his semen into the tight body. Rin's muscles clenched tightly around his member. It was always an amazing sensation.

But it was far from over. Neuhaus turned Rin around, so he would face him. He had to face Rin to end this. He grabbed his legs from behind the knees, lifted them up and got into him once more, starting round two. Rin screamed again, tired and hopeless. No, not again, he couldn't handle it again… Neuhaus went on fucking him, mesmerizing the face he would die for. Rin's beautiful, breathtaking face. Neuhaus fucked him harder, pumping into his tight opening and right down the mattress. He was particularly violent. Blood was trickling down, semen was trickling down, tears and saliva were trickling down from Rin's eyes and mouth, sweat from his temples. Rin hadn't even noticed that he was unconsciously drooling. He just hurt so much down there… "Igor…" In and out, in and out, in and out! Pain, pain, pain…

That was the first time he was calling him by his first name. Neuhaus ignored him and came into him once again, pressuring himself tightly against Rin. Now, it was over. He remained in Rin for as long as he could, and then pulled out, eliciting a small, final cry from him. He got up and let Rin sob, lying in sheets covered by blood and sperm, just like he was. He buttoned up his pants. "The rules haven't changed. Ten minutes. You only have that much to disappear. Today we got it on early, but tomorrow you're expected at nine as always." Rin trembled in the sheets. Neuhaus barely controlled himself not to tremble too. He loved Rin so much, and yet Rin was reduced to this because of him. It was just that something he could never have. He left the apartment, but still heard Rin letting out a scream like a wounded animal once again. It was just a 'why'. A 'why' that echoed through the walls and through his heart.

Far away from there, in the middle of a forest in Russia, Okumura Yukio had just received a letter of retrieval. It was from Mephisto. He was saying that he'd be glad to have him back in the academy, and that his part of the mission was already over. Yukio merely shrugged and accepted it, no further questioning.

_Nii-san, I'll finally get to see you again!_ He mused and giggled, lifting his travel bag up to his shoulder, smiling. _I wonder what he was doing while I was gone…_


	10. Revelations

**Α****/****Ν****: Hello my dear readers! Thank you all so much for you lovely reviews! They really keep me motivated now with my exams, so I'm barely managing to find some spare time. So remember: more reviews, means happier me, and happier me means quicker updates! ;) Seems like in the previous chapter I made the right choice of selecting the 'rape route' once again. I hope this one keeps you satisfied too! Oh, and a note for correction: When describing Neuhaus, I mentioned that he has black hair, but in the wikia I found that it's said he has dark, brown hair. Then they said it's black. So I'm going with black through this fic, I hope it's right. **

Rin dragged his feet to his room. He felt empty, exhausted, void. Too pained to feel more. When he opened the door to his room, he saw Kuro curled into a ball, at his bed's feet. The demon cat raised its head and saw him. He meowed happily. _"Rin! You're finally home! Where have you been?"_ Kuro jumped towards his boss and rubbed himself on Rin's feet, purring. After some moments, he stopped. Rin hadn't moved at all. Kuro looked up and saw Rin looking without seeing, not playing the slightest bit off attention. He seemed simply not aware of the environment surrounding him. _"Rin… What's wrong?"_ Kuro questioned, worried. He didn't need animal's intuition to understand that Rin wasn't well. Suddenly, an oddly familiar and unpleasant scent hit his nostrils. Kuro meowed in horror. _"Rin! You reek of…" _

Rin pushed softly Kuro away using his leg. He knew very well how he must have smelled to his cat. Even he could still smell Neuhaus on him. Ten minutes weren't enough for a bath. Inside his pants there was still plenty of his blood and of his teacher's semen. The bastard had come inside him twice, too… "I'm going to take a shower, okay?" He said hoarsely to Kuro. He tugged at his torn shirt, which was barely held in place by one or two buttons. To other people it was stylish, he resented the idea. He had to sew it later on… now he had learned how. He had to.

"_Rin, what have you been doing with him?"_ Kuro yelled at him desperately but Rin ignored him and closed the door behind him. Like Kuro hadn't already understood. He was very lucky he couldn't talk to other people. Mechanically, he got undressed and stepped in the bath tub, turning on the water and letting it fall on him like rain, while he sat down. His empty eyes stared as the blood was being washed away, accompanied with the white, thick fluid. He was lucky he wasn't forced into a blowjob, he barely thought. Neuhaus was probably too bored to make him do it.

Because it didn't mean anything to him. Rin was just a plaything. A toy, on which he could release all of his frustrations, sexual or not. He didn't have the strength to think about what had happened. How he was being pushed around like an inanimate object, depending on Neuhaus' mood swings. What did he even like in this guy? Because he told him he loved him? Was he really that stupid to fall for that cheap trick? People can talk all they want and say the most extravagant things. Their actions are the ones that speak the truth for them. He could dismiss everything Neuhaus had said so far and just look at his deeds. And what Neuhaus was doing, was hurting him with the most violent of ways, over and over again. He had tried to kill him. He made him take the Vow. He raped him. He tried to kill him again. He fucked with his mind. He humiliated him. He hit him. Then he raped him again.

Rin lowered his eyes. _That's right. I'm being hated… I'm being hated now and I'll always be, for I, am Satan's son. And that will never change._ Tears wouldn't come out from his eyes. Like there were no more left. He could hear Kuro meowing outside the bathroom's door, like mourning. Yukio would be better off without him. Shiemi, Shura, and the rest of the guys too. Angel would rejoice. Mephisto… wouldn't care, he would just think of it as an interesting case. Rin couldn't help but bring in his mind scenes of drama or horror films. People lying in their bath tubs, which is filled with their own blood, their wrists all cut open by razor blades, their heads fallen backwards and their eyes wide open staring at nothingness…

He shivered and twitched. He didn't want to die yet. That choice seemed terrifying. And all in all, even if he did attempt that, his wounds would close right up. He had to find better ways if he wanted to kill himself… Extreme poisoning?

He shook his head. No. He didn't have that choice. Even if no one loved him anymore… Even if he was all alone. Shirou used to love him… Only him. But did he really? Did his stepfather love him or was he just raising him to fight against Satan? Rin didn't know what to believe anymore. He knew he wasn't allowed to doubt Shirou; he would never forgive himself if he did. But he had thought that Neuhaus loved him too… And he…

He had hugged him. He had consoled him. He had kissed him. Fought alongside him. Saved him. Made love to him. Believed him. Spared him. Made love to him again. Saved him again… Kept him warm in the same bed…

"Stupid teacher!" Rin shouted and banged his fist against the wall, his hair covering his eyes. Why did his actions have to be so contradictory! This wasn't funny! …It wasn't funny at all… Neuhaus… Igor Neuhaus…

Rin sighed and tried to think back. Why was he raped this time? Was Neuhaus afraid that someone would snatch his toy away from him? Was he angry for his slave disobeying him? Or was he jealous? Jealous that the person he loved was in someone else's arms? Rin would like to think that if Neuhaus loved him, he wouldn't hurt him, but he knew well that the people who hurt you the most are the ones who love you the most. Or the ones you love the most. Was he taken over by passion? It didn't seem so. Something else was going on. It must have.

Rin turned off the water and grabbed a towel, stepping out of the tub and rubbing himself with it. He felt slightly better. It was still noon, but he grabbed his pajamas and put them on. He was tired, he wanted to sleep. Sleep it all away, until he would have to face it. He was horrified by the prospect of even seeing Neuhaus right then. He opened the door and met Kuro, looking at him all teary. "Now, don't make that face." Rin smiled and picked Kuro up. "Come on." Rin climbed up in his bed and sat there, covering his legs with the sheets and putting Kuro on them, petting him and hugging him. Kuro liked that cuddled up feeling, he started purring again.

"_Rin… Why are you doing those things with him?"_ Kuro asked him after some minutes, saddened.

"Because I love him." Came the calm response. "That's why people do those kinds of things." Rin answered and smiled a bit again.

"_But, Rin…"_

"I know." He didn't want his cat to say it. His bangs covered his eyes. He hugged Kuro tighter. "I'm scared Kuro… I'm scared." He whimpered, his face buried into the cat's fur.

The next day, he showed up in class as always. His friends noticed that he wasn't in the best of moods again, but they chose not to say anything. They had long before understood that there was a reason Rin had changed so drastically the last month. His personality might have remained the same though, but his attitude was a different story. Something was eating him up from the inside, something had happened to him. Shiemi was wondering if Yukio's absence was the cause of Rin's abnormal behavior.

"Hey everyone!" Shura walked in, all grinning. "What will you give me to tell you the good news?" Her grin dropped when she noticed that no one was answering her, they were just staring. "Come on guys! I bet you want to beg for this! Have a sense of humor!"

"Um… Kirigakure-sensei… You clothes…" Shima noticed hesitantly.

"What?" Shura tugged at her sexy, black gown, which didn't leave many things to the imagination. Konekomaru had almost passed out and Bon was blushing. Kamiki had simply stopped paying attention. "An exorcist must be ready to be on duty any time, no matter what he or she wears!"

"So you just didn't bother to change again." Rin commented. That was too much to let it pass by, even when your morale is crushed. Shima was taking pictures from his cell phone, he could swear!

"Shut up brother of four-eyes!" Shura snapped at him. Then she coughed, going all serious again. "Well, as I was saying, I have good news for you. You will be free two hours earlier today. Neuhaus-sensei said that something came up and he won't be able to come in class today."

As the classmates around him nearly threw a party – Neuhaus' class might be interesting but it was still a class, plus he wasn't the happiest and most pleasant person ever – something gripped at Rin's heart and squeezed it tightly. He had a bad feeling for this. It gripped it so tightly that it actually hurt. Why wouldn't he come? He didn't want to face him? He detested him that much? Or did something happen to him? Or was he planning new methods of torture for Rin? No, that couldn't be it, he told him to come at nine, as usual, and usual meant fucking… If he had changed his mind and planned to take Rin earlier? Or had he been tasked with a mission and go away? Was he hurt? Whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

Bon noticed him. Everybody else was happy but he seemed even more seedy than usual. Why would Rin be down for something like that? What did he want to see, the new types of demons and it saddened him? Or perhaps…

He remembered the scene when they left the prison. Rin had kissed their professor. Some days ago he had asked them about kisses. Was it him he wanted to see? All those weird things that had started to add up… Rin's shitty mood, talking about women and sex, Neuhaus going out of his way to free him Vatican's hands, when he should be glad that they caught him… Rin never coming when they were planning to meet at night… And that line about punishment he had delivered the other day when they were playing volleyball… Bon shook his head frantically. No. Impossible. It was preposterous to even think about it! There was no way Rin was involved with their teacher! At least, not sexually! Such things just didn't happen! He dismissed the thought and swore to never think about it like this again.

The rest of the day passed cheerfully and without any remarkable events. Rin could say that it was a completely normal day. Yet he was still in so much pain… He was walking alone in the yard, had reached almost the building he was staying in, when he heard Mephisto: "You're not in such high spirits lately, are you, Okumura-kun?" He turned around and faced his demon headmaster, looking at him wearing his usual smirk.

"It has nothing to do you with you." He turned around to leave again, but Mephisto's voice stopped him:

"Now, it would be nice if you weren't so rude to your own headmaster… And guardian." He underlined the last word. Rin didn't respond, and Mephisto continued, now serious. "Don't forget that until you grow to be eighteen, Shirou has tasked me with being your guardian. And no matter what happens, Rin, that's what I'll be."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rin turned and glared at him. His guardian, was he shitting with him or something? "I know how you do things. I can't say I can trust you completely." Despite his better judgment, he continued: "You said you saved me from the Gregori, yet you let Angel capture me! On their orders!"

"That's why I had Neuhaus spy on him…" Mephisto started, but was roughly interrupted:

"Neuhaus! The same person who tried to kill me by disobeying you! …Or was that too on your orders?" Rin was angry, but he fought to calm himself down. Mephisto was looking at him strangely, without winking, half-serious, half unpleasantly surprised. "I can't know what you're thinking or if your motives are changing by mood. But don't you dare try to deceit me or patronize me!"

"Ah, I know you must be angry about that incident… But all that's well ends well, right?" Mephisto reverted back to his carefree self. "Though I would love to know, if something was to happen. You are close to Neuhaus, aren't you?" He delivered the last sentence with a sadistic grin.

It sent shivers down Rin's spine. Sometimes he had a feeling that Mephisto had hidden cameras all over the academy so he could watch and know anything that happened. If that wasn't true, then either Neuhaus was acting on his orders from the very start of the Vow, or he was just taking a shot in the dark. Rin's gut feeling was telling him it was the second. "Not exactly. Unless you mean that beyond the student and teacher relationship, yes we have the I-hate-you-demon-because-your-father-killed-my-family kind of relationship too."

"Heh?" Mephisto looked disappointed. "Don't mess with my fun! And I thought something interesting might have happened… I mean, something is. He's taking days off for all the years he hadn't all at once lately. Like today."

Rin lowered his eyes. "Why didn't he come to class today?" _And why the fuck would you suspect me for that?_

"Beats me. By the way, what I wanted to tell you was…"

Rin took off. Mephisto stood there and watched him go with wide eyes. Rin didn't care. Mephisto hadn't sent Neuhaus anywhere, so that must mean that he was still in his apartment. If he was scared of him , he had to face him. He couldn't just sit there, crying for his tragic fate like an unprotected victim. If Neuhaus was the one who scared him, he had to be able to look at him in the eye. From then on, whenever he would rape him, Rin would look at him straight in the eye.

"…that your brother will be coming home today." Mephisto resumed, when Rin was already out of his sight.

Neuhaus was sitting at the edge of his bed. Everything around him was settled, carefully in place, perfectly arranged. In his hands there was a black handgun. Small enough to hold it in place without straining his hand, big enough to strike death from afar. Much more from a point-blank shot in the head. He had thought about this. All he was doing was thinking about this. Satan had raped his family, then possessed him and killed them using his own hands. For as long as he was alive, he would never forget about this. It was enough to make him want to go after them. What really stopped him, all these years? His hatred for demons, his motive for revenge. Mephisto was an exception because he was confirmed to be against Satan. That's why Neuhaus was loyal to him. He lived all those years, fifteen years, in order to make demons suffer. And when he came across Satan's son… He fell in love with him.

He felt many things. First of all he felt like he was betraying Michelle. And then betraying his kids. And then all of his fellow fighters exorcists who died trying to repel Satan. That wasn't his intention. Like he wanted to fall in love with a boy! It just… happened. He brought Rin's image back in his mind. Rin's hair, Rin's eyes, Rin's lips… It was unbelievable how much he loved him. There wasn't a second that Neuhaus wasn't thinking about him, not a second he didn't wish to have him by his side. Rin was everything. And he could never have him. It would be fine if it was just that, a simple unrequited love, but…

"My cute Rin…" He whispered, and slowly placed the gun right on his temple. He took a deep breath. _Forgive me. I hope this is enough for me to atone. I'll pay for what I've done to you with my life. And if you can still be sad… There will come a time when you'll understand that I did it for your own good. _He was never again this close to death. He was strongly resolved and death didn't seem frightening anymore. Instead, it shone quite appealing. Yes, getting away from everything… Never again seeing Rin crying or trembling… Or kissing someone else… He had made all the necessary preparations. He had raped Rin so when he would walk in that night, he would be glad by seeing his dead body and not freaked out or hurt. His nightmare would finally be over. And by dying now, several hours before his body would be discovered, he would give Rin the perfect alibi so he wouldn't be accused with murder.

He was past the point of no return. He had two choices: Being with Rin or take responsibility. First choice was out of the question of course. Even if Rin wanted it (yeah, right), he had no intention of messing Rin's life up more than he already had, so everything had to end properly. Neuhaus was a person with a strong sense of justice, and he never excluded himself. It just felt like the right punishment.

"I love you Rin." Those would be his final words. He closed his eyes and started pushing the trigger with his index finger…

The door of his room was suddenly kicked open, creating a ruckus. "_Bastard_, if you have the nerve to force yourself on me, at least face me proper-" Rin froze in his tracks. He had barged in ready for a huge fight, but nothing could prepare him for what he came to see. Neuhaus froze too and he slightly gaped, staring at the boy. His mind drew a blank.

"Rin… It's nowhere near nine…" That was all he had to say, really?

Rin's eyes were doubled in size by horror. No… it couldn't… enough… "NO!" He screamed and threw himself on Neuhaus, slapping the gun away from his hand. Due to his shock, Neuhaus didn't have the time to react. The gun fell in the floor, away from them. "NO, NO, NO!" Rin grabbed him by the collar and lifted him up to stand and look at him in the eye. "What are you doing? What are you _doing_? Why, why, WHY?" He was trembling uncontrollably, shaking Neuhaus back and forth, trying to elicit an answer. Neuhaus was too ashamed to look at him straightly. He just surrendered to Rin's rage. Rin was scared shitless of what had almost happened. It was just all too much to grasp, and too awful. "Why would you do that? Even though I gave you everything… I gave you everything you ever asked!" Rin started crying. Tears were running down his cheeks freely, and he didn't have any strength left. "And you…" He sobbed.

Neuhaus looked down at him; he was hurting seeing Rin like this. "Rin… It's my atonement." He tried to caress Rin's hair. "For what I've done to you…"

"Fuck you! You're just running away!" Rin slapped his hand away and glared at him fiercely.

Neuhaus shoved the boy away violently. "You don't fucking understand! What could you _possibly_ understand?" He barked at him, barely holding back his own tears. "How could you ever understand what it is to be like! What it is to know that you've hurt the person you love the most in the most horrible way! Can you even imagine how it feels? When I see you suffering so much and am aware that I'm the one who caused it! You think I can keep up doing this?" He was going to go all out.

"So you just decided that you should leave me behind and go die all by your own!" Rin roared back. "Atonement and shit! You just don't have the courage to deal with reality! You don't have the courage to deal with ME!" Rin knew it. He knew it very well. "How many times do you think you can break my heart? I've had enough of this!"

"I'm IN LOVE with you!"

Silence fell over them for some moments. Rin couldn't believe in his ears. Was that really true? Neuhaus seemed so… He seemed so messed up… Rin had never seen him before emitting that much emotion.

"That's right. What I said." Neuhaus lowered his gaze, and his black bangs covered his eye. "If you want to laugh at me, go ahead and do it. If that's what were you planning demon, congratulations, you've won. Because no matter what you do, no matter what you say, I'll never stop loving you. I can't do that. I fell for you and I can't go back. You can kill me and I'd be glad to die by your hand. You can torture me in any way and I'll just bend my head and take it. My entire being yearns for you, I love you." Now he was trembling too. "And that's why I need to die."

Rin didn't speak for a while. He waited for Neuhaus to calm down. When he finally spoke, it was to say this, totally calm and collected: "If you do this… If you kill yourself here, I'll take that gun and blow my brains up, next to you." Suddenly, it was hard for Neuhaus to breathe. He looked up at Rin with wide eyes. Rin was dead serious. He knew that only this crude way of talking would get through the other man. "I mean it. If you kill yourself, I'll follow after you."

"W-Why? No…" Neuhaus was horrified at the possibility. "You're lying…" He straightened up. Yeah, that must be it. Who in the world would kill themselves for the sake of their torturers?

"Am I? Okay, so then let's go first!" Rin didn't waste any time. He grabbed a big pair of scissors from the nearby desk. He opened it and brought it towards his neck. "This is going to paint your carpet a nice red."

"NO! STOP IT!" Neuhaus screamed. He ran and managed to snatch the scissors away from Rin's hands, barely in time. They left a red line on Rin's neck. The brat had seriously tried to do this! From the strength of the run up, they fell down on the floor, Neuhaus on Rin, looking at him incredulously and painfully. He stared at Rin's eyes, he didn't want to believe what had just happened. "Rin… Rin, why? If you die… If you die…" That couldn't come true! Ever!

"Now, do you understand how I felt when I saw you with the gun?" Rin asked, but it was more like a statement. He was calm. He seemed sad too. He had bet everything at that. "When I was in that cage… When Angel captured me, all I could think about was you." Neuhaus looked away. "Do you know how?"

"Oh Rin please, it's not going to…"

"I was thinking that I wanted you. It didn't matter if you would be violent or do things against my will. I wanted to be with you, because… because you are so warm…" Rin cupped Neuhaus' cheek and caressed his shocked and longing face. "And because I felt that you loved me. It might have been small things, small gestures, but for me, it was everything!" Rin's eyes started to tear up. "The fact that you could show me affection even if I was Satan's son… You can't imagine how that was making me feel. I know very well that my friends are afraid of me. Even Yukio is. I was alone. Yes, I am confused, and yes, sometimes you scare the hell out of me, but I love you for loving me." Rin lowered his hand. "I want to be in your arms."

Neuhaus sighed. Why was Rin saving him so easily? How strong could this boy be? "Rin, you know very well that this won't work. Neither will it last long. At some point, you'll want to have a family. Or more simply, a girlfriend. You don't need someone like me by your side." This was the voice of logic talking. Neuhaus was all composed once again. He got up from the floor, removing himself over Rin. "We both know that it would be wrong to do this."

Rin didn't move. He remained lying with his back against the floor. "At some point…" He said. "At some point, someone will kill me. May it be from the humans' side, may it be from the demons' side, I don't know. I have the right to be with the people I love until that day comes."

"I will never allow that." Neuhaus turned and informed him, a bit pissed off. "You know it."

Rin sat up. "Then live." He locked eyes with him. "If you want to atone, live and protect me." He stood up and approached him, never breaking the eye contact. "I told you before. Love me."

"You are a strange kid, you know that?" A weight had just been lifted. Neuhaus could suddenly breathe more easily. "You're probably the only one in the world who would get raped and then barge into his rapist's room the other day, earlier than prearranged, looking for a fight. Are you an idiot or something?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Well then, if you don't like that, I'll be taking my leave…" Rin turned to go away, but Neuhaus grabbed him by the arm, stopping him.

"Okay, okay, come on!" He turned him around to face him. He smiled at him. "You're also a very beautiful and strong kid."

Rin blushed gloriously. He wasn't used at that. Beautiful? He ran a hand through his hair, feeling a pleasant uneasiness. This was new… "And you are good-looking… for your age."

A vein popped in Neuhaus' forehead. "Leave my age out of this! I'm not even forty yet! Damn you, you don't even know how to make a compliment right!"

"Eh? Then, how old are you?" Rin put on his I'm-so-curious-I-can't-wait-to-find-out adorable look, wagging his tail. "Tell me!"

"Like hell I'd tell you!" It was Neuhaus' turn to blush. That kid could be a serious pain in the ass sometimes! Not that he didn't already know that…

Rin's face turned evilly mischievous. "Ah, that bad?" He smirked, enjoying Neuhaus horrified face. "So, you're basically telling me that you're an old man…"

Neuhaus didn't waste any time. He grabbed Rin's face and crashed his lips against his. Rin let out a stifled yelp in surprise, but as the kiss continued, it turned to a moan. Neuhaus' tongue licked Rin's lower lip and then he slightly bit it, asking for permission. Rin opened his mouth hungrily and accepted him. Their tongues fought for dominance but Neuhaus was quick to win it. He forced his way into and ravished Rin's mouth, exploring every angle of it. Rin felt like melting. Especially when Neuhaus wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly in place. It was heaven. This kiss was nothing like Angel's, it was so sweeter, so… it couldn't compare. Because it had such a wonderful meaning behind it. After some minutes of intense kissing, they parted for air. "Well?" Neuhaus smirked. "Does this old man kiss nicely?" He taunted Rin.

"He's good." Rin almost squealed. Neuhaus took him some steps behind and tossed him onto the bed, then climbing up and straddling him. Rin was in a haze. Everything was going on too fast…

"Then let me show you in what else he's good at." Neuhaus started undoing the belt of his pants. When Rin understood what was about to come, he cringed.

"No!" He protested, placing his hand on Neuhaus' chest to stop him. Neuhaus noticed his scared eyes. Rin gulped. "Just… Just first base for today." He turned away his face. "Please…" Would the man above him listen to him? He hoped so. He wanted it to be consensual and based on yesterday's experience, he didn't exactly feel so thrilled about the idea.

He felt Neuhaus covering him with his body, embracing him again. So warm… "It's okay." He heard him telling him. "We'll do what you want." Rin's heart was about to burst from love and gratitude.

Relatively away from there, Yukio had just opened the door to his and Rin's room. "Nii-san, I'm home!" He announced loudly, with a huge grin plastered on his face. "I thought I would surprise…" He stopped when he noticed that the room was empty. "Eh? Where has he gone?" He scratched his head. "That's weird. Nii-san usually never leaves the room at such an hour. He wasn't even in the kitchen!" Yukio said to himself, a bit worried. "Where can he be… Ah, Kuro!" Yukio noticed Rin's black demon cat, curled under Rin's bed. That attitude of it was weird too. Yukio bent down to see it better. "Do you know where Rin is?"

Kuro looked at him. He couldn't talk to Yukio and he couldn't write a word to communicate with him. He knew where Rin was. He contemplated about it a little, then he got out of his hide-hole. He meowed at Yukio. He meowed again and left the room, looking back.

"Oh, so you'll guide me there!" Yukio realized. "Thanks a lot, Kuro!" He smiled at him. Kuro took off. That was the only thing he could do to save Rin. Yukio ran after him, and after some minutes, they reached the apartment.

Yukio eyed it suspiciously. He didn't know who lived here, he had never again come. The front door was open. He pushed it hesitantly and walked in without making any noise. He felt like he had to be quiet. There wasn't a sign of Rin or of anyone else, so he walked further in. When he reached a door, he heard muffled noises coming from behind. It was opened up a crack. He shot a look inside.

Neuhaus' big frame was all over his brother. His hands were running up and down the boy's body, fondling and groping every single area they could reach. Rin was lying down and Neuhaus was on top of him, kissing him feverishly in the mouth and the neck. Rin's face was all flushed, from his mouth were coming out small, stifling noises. His hands were grabbing tightly Neuhaus' arms, holding him close. To Yukio seemed like he was trying to push him away. Rin's eyes were teary from desire; Yukio guessed it was from suffering. A gun was lying on the floor.

Suddenly, the world became suffocating for Yukio. The air around him wasn't enough. Nothing mattered anymore except the image playing before his eyes. He couldn't hear a thing. He could only watch as his colleague was devouring his brother, hands, kisses everywhere… Yukio lost it. He stepped into the room noiselessly, neither of them noticed him. Neuhaus was missing an eye. That would be his doom. Yukio took out his gun and pointed it at him. That man… His brother… What he was doing to his brother…

Neuhaus was missing an eye, but Rin didn't. He saw Yukio the last moment. "NO!" He screamed, and pushed Neuhaus away.

Yukio shot.

**Note: Yes, I'm ending it with a cliffhanger, but this chapter was way too long… I love everyone who reviewed, but I want to add: Edeira, I LOVE YOU for the doujinshi! You can't imagine what a great gift it was for me! Here I thought that I was the only one with a fic, no pictures, no other stories, and you found a doujinshi! Oh my God thank you so, so much! My Japanese aren't good enough yet, but I understood some of the lines. "Nanda… Yappari, tada no kodomo jia nai ka." And a hug! Kyaaaaaa, I melted, so angsty, so sweet! The art was quite decent too! Do you know Japanese? If yes, can you please, please tell me what Neuhaus said to Rin when he asked him 'why' and what Rin answered him? You can't imagine how much you brightened my day! ;) **


	11. The Bet

**Α****/N: Hello everyone! Wow, the last chapter got plenty of reviews, and I'm so happy I can be seen floating! I think I'll be ending all chapters with a cliffhanger from now on… Just kidding! :P You know, this story was supposed to end in this chapter, but thanks to all of your support and seeing how unexpectedly well it was received, I'll be continuing it further! ;) I've heard from many people that originally they didn't like the base of the story, but gave it a chance and stuck to it. I want to thank you guys again, everyone who reviews and reads this story, because you've made me feel really wonderful. And about some mistakes that have been made, I want to apologize and blame my hastiness for these. As you know, English isn't my native language, but I'm trying really hard not to let it show. Anyway, let's begin!**

Neuhaus watched in slow motion as Rin's body was violently thrust away from the bed, due to the impact of the bullet. Blood… Rin's right side was painted all red. It was like someone stopped the time and swallowed all noises. Using the power of the Vow, Neuhaus could have easily held Rin down, but for one terrifying moment, he had thought that Rin had regretted what they were doing, so he involuntarily jerked himself away, afraid that he was forcing himself on Rin once again, without realizing it. Now he prayed that this would have been the case. The bullet that was meant for him had hit Rin on the right arm, forcing him to fall off the bed. Rin tumbled on the floor, clutching his injured arm desperately, letting out small, pained cries. Blood was dripping down, covering his clothes and the fingers clutching around the wound.

Neuhaus turned and saw Yukio at the door, holding the gun by which he fired. The young professor stood there with eyes doubled in size by horror, not daring to believe what he had just done. His mouth hung open and the hand that held the gun was trembling. Now it was Neuhaus' turn to lose it. It didn't matter who Yukio was or what he had tried to do. The only thing that mattered was Rin, twitching on the ground, soaked in his own blood. In two seconds, he stood before Yukio, slapping the gun away from his hand and grabbing him violently from the neck, shoving him against the wall and starting strangling him. "You… You fucking brat! What did you do to Rin?" He growled, trembling in his own anger. He wouldn't forgive him, he wouldn't forgive him! "_What_ _did you do to him_?" He barked, completely out of control.

Yukio tried desperately to take a breath but it was impossible, the man was crashing his neck, he looked so enraged, so insane… "Nii-san… Nii-san, why did you cover for him?" He managed to choke out. Why would Rin do that, Yukio couldn't understand, he never meant to hurt Rin, why did this happen? There was no way his mind could grasp it. He couldn't even breathe…

"Stop it!" Rin yelled, still clutching at his injured arm, but managing to stand up. To others it might have seemed terrible due to the blood loss, but for Rin and his regenerative powers, it was just a minor injury. Only flesh was hit, and his body would soon kick the bullet out of the wound. He was very lucky at this one. Neuhaus didn't seem to listen to him. "Igor, stop it! Please! Don't hurt Yukio!" He yelled again desperately, in an attempt to save his brother. He knew that Neuhaus wouldn't hesitate to kill the other boy in his anger. Only the sight of Rin's blood had driven him crazy. "Igor!"

The sound of his first name acted like a catalyst. Neuhaus let Yukio, reluctantly the truth is, and stepped away from him. Yukio slid on the floor, coughing hard. Rin ran next to him and kneeled at his side. "Nii-san…" Yukio whispered. His green eyes were all teary. "I'm sorry, nii-san… I hurt you… I didn't mean to…" _First name? He calls him by his first name? _Yukio didn't like where this was going.

"It's okay, I'm okay!" Rin tried to calm him down. "Such a level of wound is nothing!" Of course, it still damn hurt. Rin did his best to hide the pained expression on his face. He just needed to bear with it for a bit and then it would go away.

"What would have happened if it hit you in the head? Or the heart! Why did you save him?" Yukio didn't waste any time and scolded Rin immediately. He had gotten very scared. His brother always… He always did such kind of things! Jumping in where it wasn't needed and making Yukio worry about him! Only that now, things had crossed the line so badly that Yukio felt his world was out of balance. Suddenly, it seemed like they had stepped on a whole new level, and not a tasteful one. "Answer me!" He glared at him.

Rin looked and Neuhaus, worried, asking him with his eyes what to do. Neuhaus' reaction was to fold his arms across his chest and turn his back at them. _Do whatever the hell you want; I don't give a fucking damn! _Rin felt the impulse to kick him at the butt where he was standing, but considering the pain in his arm and Yukio waiting for answers, now it wasn't the time for it. Later! "Come on Yukio, let's go." He told coldly, but the cold tone was directed at Neuhaus. Yukio narrowed his eyes and stood up, supporting Rin, without commenting anything. There would be time for that. They left the place, without saying anything else.

Neuhaus remained alone for some minutes. The reason he hadn't spoken was because he believed that Rin had the right to present everything about them at his brother as he wished. He probably had the brains to not mention that he had been raped. But there was no way Neuhaus could lie about that. If Rin wanted it, he could keep his mouth shut, but he could never lie about how things had happened. He would never speak a word about their relationship, and Rin could freely say whatever he thought would be better for him or for his brother. No matter how Rin would try to picture this, namely, if he was forced to this or if he chose it by his own free will, it was fine by Neuhaus. The truth was in the middle anyways. He had expected that Yukio would try to kill him when he'd find out… But that caught him off guard. And he had just made up with Rin too… Shit! Now all he could do was sit there and worry about Rin and how much that bullet wound could hurt! He wanted to be near him and take care of him, but now that his brother came…

Suddenly, he noticed something at the door of his bedroom. It was small, it was black, and it was moving. Slowly and hesitantly, Rin's demon cat walked in, with its head lowered. Neuhaus understood.

"You brought him here?" He asked, referring to Yukio. The cat's ears fell, and Neuhaus grasped that as a 'yes'. Kuro had only wanted to save Rin, but his decision had resulted only into hurting him more. He felt ashamed and useless. Neuhaus neared his desk and took out a dagger, taking it out of its sheath. "Do you know how many people in this world eat cats as a delicacy?" Stupid cat!

Kuro ran the heck out. It was never certain when Neuhaus was morbidly joking or not, and he wasn't such big of a moron to sit there and find down. Unfortunately for him, the front door of the apartment was closed shut. A cat alone can't reach the doorknob. Neuhaus caught up to him, and grabbed him by the back of his neck, raising him up. Thankfully, he didn't have the dagger with him! Kuro just stared at him with wide eyes and dropped ears.

"On a second thought…" Neuhaus informed him. "You'll follow me and won't make a single noise. Neither will you tell Rin anything about it. I have to know what those two are going to talk about. _Understood_?" He underlined the last word. Kuro just nodded hurryingly in obedience, afraid that otherwise he would become a first class meal.

As soon as they walked into their room, Yukio sat Rin down and started treating his wound. "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't jumped in the way." He told him bitterly, as he cleaned the blood and wrapped some bandages around the gash. It would be healed in no time, but that wasn't enough to erase Yukio's guilt. "Why did you?"

Rin looked at him incredulously. "Why? You would have killed him! You would have seriously killed him!" He stared at his brother with wide eyes. He knew Yukio could be ruthless sometimes but…

"So?" Yukio offered coldly. "What's your point?" _Of course I would. He got that coming. _Yukio knew that he wasn't a match for an upper class exorcist like Neuhaus, but what he had witnessed set him off. His anger still hadn't settled down, and it probably never would. The only reason that he didn't continue firing was his shock from unwillingly hurting Rin.

"My point is that I don't want my brother to become a bloody murderer!" Rin yelled at him and shot up, looking at him straight in the eyes. Yukio seemed plainly stony, without any kind of emotions inside of him. Rin knew that it wouldn't be pretty once he found out, but this bad, he hadn't expected.

"Oh? So you say it would be better for me to kill my own brother by a stray bullet!" Yukio was glaring behind the glasses. Rin was always careless, but this time, he had a reason?

"I… I didn't think about it." Rin answered, somewhat awkwardly. The truth was, that was the last thing on his mind. At that time, all he could think of was that Neuhaus was about to get killed. He didn't think, he acted by instinct to save him.

"I thought so." Yukio cut him off. "Why, nii-san?" _Be careful how you will respond to me! _

Rin locked eyes with his brother and looked at him strongly. There was no way he could tell him what exactly had happened between them. Yukio wouldn't be able to handle the fact that someone took advantage of his absence to hurt Rin. And that Rin came to love that someone nonetheless. Yukio might be the youngest brother but he always acted like the older one. He was fixated upon protecting Rin, and who knew what he might end up doing. "Because I like him." Half of the truth would be fine.

Yukio staggered, but he managed to hold his expression as it was. That was exactly what he was afraid that he'd hear. A small part of him wished that Neuhaus was forcing himself on Rin, that Rin never chose such a thing. "You like him." He repeated mechanically. "So… you like guys?"

"No. Not guys. Just him." Rin had thought about that many times. He shrugged. "It's not like I wanted it to happen, it just… happened." He tried to explain, but he had the suspicion Yukio wouldn't hear any of it. "It feels good when I'm around him… when we hang out or sleep together…" Okay, that slipped and in the wrong way. He halted, but the damage had been done. Yukio's eyes had instantly been doubled in size. He fell behind to sit on the edge of the bed in shock.

"You're doing it with him?" He asked, lifelessly in his shock. Sure, what he had seen was the preview of that but he never dared to believe… To suspect… He didn't want to.

Rin's words stuck at his throat. He hadn't meant sleeping in _that_ kind of way, but now that Yukio had directly asked, it would be pointless to lie to him. Yukio always understood when Rin was lying. It might be better if he got it over with. "Yes." He replied, quietly.

Yukio didn't answer for a while. He stayed, sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at the ground. All those pieces of information were just too much, and none of them was good. He had left Rin in one way and found him in another. So this was how it was going to be, huh? _That was your answer, nii-san… _Slowly, he stood up, his eyes still lowered. When he came and stood right in front of Rin, he looked at his face coldly.

He slapped him hard. So hard that Rin almost fell on the ground. He tottered, didn't let out a noise, but clutched at his stinging cheek desperately, his hair covering his eyes. He couldn't turn to look at Yukio… He heard him talking. "And to think," Yukio spat furiously, "that our Father made all this effort to raise someone like you!" His blood was boiling; he was glaring with all of his might, teeth gritted and hands curled into fists. He started yelling: "You never had any shame to begin with, but now, congratulations, you can even get a medal for this! From all the things you could have done, you chose to go and fuck with an older guy! What would Father say if he was still alive? You wouldn't be able to even look at him in the eye! Or would you have the nerve?" Yukio was so out of control, he just wanted to say things that could hurt Rin. "I guess that no matter how much he tries, a demon is still a demon after all!"

Rin twitched at that. He turned and looked at Yukio with big, watery eyes. "Yukio…" _Do you really mean that? _He reached his hand towards Yukio, but the other teen slapped it away.

"Don't you dare touch me." Yukio spat degradingly. "You disgust me." He turned and left the room, leaving Rin alone behind. Rin just stayed watching at him go for some seconds, and then he fell on his knees. He started crying quietly. Yukio hated him… His own brother hated him! And he was right… What he was doing was so shameful… Why, when it seemed right? He had honestly thought he had made the proper choice, but he couldn't ignore the fundamentally wrong side. A person of the same gender, a person much older. If his Father was alive… If Shirou…

"Dad…" He whimpered, unable to hold himself back. "Daddy… what should I do?" He sobbed. _I love him… I want to be with him! _Was it so wrong to love someone? Could it ever be? He didn't know anymore… Even Neuhaus himself had told him it wouldn't work out. Maybe it was a bother to him… Maybe he didn't want anything more from Rin than a fuck. He had turned his back like this… Even though he had told him he loved him minutes before. Rin didn't know what to believe, it was all just so messed up! And he could never forget that Neuhaus had raped him… He was trying to get over it, but such a wound doesn't heal easily, regardless of how much someone could try, especially if it had happened repeatedly and just the previous day. He knew he would probably never get over it… could he really start a relationship based on those feelings?

Suddenly, he felt something soft and furry rubbing against his thigh. He looked down and saw Kuro. All his cat could do was trying to console him. Rin grabbed him and hugged him tightly, like it was the only string of salvation he had left. Kuro accepted the hug and didn't utter a word about what he knew that would come.

Yukio was walking down the hallway with long strides, trying to get rid of some steam. Sure, he had talked harshly to Rin, but his brother deserved it! He got hurt trying to protect a creep that was taking advantage of him in the most disgusting way, he was such an idiot! That man was fucking with Rin; only the thought could drive Yukio to commit murder. Yes, it wasn't Rin's fault! It was that guy! That guy had corrupted his brother! Yukio tightened his fists so hard that he almost bled. When he'd see him again it would be the last-

"Are you looking for me, Okumura-sensei?" He heard, and turned abruptly. Neuhaus stepped forward, presenting himself from behind a corner. "Do you have something to tell me, perhaps?" Yukio didn't miss his mocking tone.

The boy didn't waste any time. He grabbed both of his guns, brought them up and started shooting. Neuhaus was quicker and his tamed demons deflected the shootings easily. Nevertheless, Yukio refused to give up. He continued firing with one gun while loading the other at the same time. His outright fury and passion for revenge made him almost ignore the fact that the demon parts were gradually overwhelming him. He knew he couldn't win, but he didn't fucking care! Even when monstrous demonic hands fell on him and knocked his guns away, he continued fighting by swinging fists left and right. Of course it was a futile battle, he realized, as those hands tossed him against the wall with such power that it took his breath away. His glasses fell down and shattered, as Yukio was firmly restrained, face down on the floor by the demons, unable to move.

Neuhaus took his time nearing him. Yukio knew he was toying with him. The older man watched intrigued as his loved one's twin was writhing on the floor, trying to free himself. For twins, they were nothing alike, he mused. He kneeled next to Yukio's face. "I'm going to tell you an interesting story." He said, while Yukio was looking at him with eyes full of hatred. "You remember this?" Neuhaus pointed high at his left arm, where the Vow was. "With this, I raped your brother. And he wasn't able to resist at all."

Yukio's eyes widened and his mind emptied. It took him a while to start reacting. "Lies… Rin told me that… He told me…" That wasn't possible! What was that man trying to achieve?

"You're a smart guy. You understand that there was no way he could tell you the truth." Neuhaus observed. "There was no way he could tell you that I raped him as soon as you left. Every day, for about a month now, we've been doing this." He waited, until Yukio could digest the information. Yukio knew that Rin wasn't lying to him when he said he liked that guy, but he just knew that Neuhaus wasn't lying either. He was confused, he didn't know… "You know what he said the first time I raped him?" Neuhaus smiled sardonically. "'_Yukio… Help me Yukio…'_" He mimicked Rin's desperate voice. "He was calling for you to save him so helplessly…"

"BASTARD!" Yukio screamed on top of his lungs and tried to set himself free from the demonic hands that held him, without success. Neuhaus didn't let him any time to let go of his anger, he stood up and stepped on Yukio's head, pinning it down with his foot. Yukio groaned from the pain and the restrictive feeling. "You… fucking… bastard…"

"Rin was calling for you." Neuhaus told him mercilessly. "He was forced into something terrible and he was calling for you to save him. But when you showed up you decided you'd just hurt him some more!"

"I didn't! I…" Yukio tried to protest, but Neuhaus stepped harder on his head.

"But isn't it better this way? After all, you hate Rin. You always did." Neuhaus wanted to give Yukio a wake-up call, plus he couldn't forgive him for treating Rin like he did. "Isn't it better, that Rin was hurt like this? He got that coming, didn't he? He deserved that. He's so much more beautiful, more courageous, and more charismatic than you would ever even dream of being. He has Satan's power and yet he charms everyone he meets. Everybody is making a fuss about Rin; Rin is always the center of attention. It doesn't matter how clever you are or how hard you try. Rin shines much more brightly and he'll always be one step ahead of you. Isn't it wonderful that he got this hurt? Now you have the chance to prove yourself to be much better than him. Stronger, righteous. He was the one sick enough to fall in love with someone like _me_ after all." Neuhaus delivered the last line with dripping sarcasm. He knew how Yukio's mind was working. He knew how weak he could be.

"My brother's rapist has _no_ business telling _me_ that I hate him!" Yukio barked at him desperately. "What could you possibly know about us? About me!" It was all lies, lies, lies! Yukio loved Rin more than anyone! This son of a bitch had no right to sprout all that bullshit! Were his insecurities really so profound? "You're the one you hurt Rin! It's your fault! You're responsible for everything that happened to him!"

Neuhaus took his foot away from Yukio's head, freeing it from the painful pressure. "Yes… That's true." He couldn't deny that. "I hurt Rin badly. I hated him, really. With all of my heart. I even tried to kill him again. I didn't manage. You know why?"

"Kill him?" Yukio repeated, horrified. "What…" What the hell had happened while he was gone?

"I fell in love with Rin." And with that, Neuhaus' tamed demons disappeared, setting Yukio free. Yukio tried numbly to get up, as he raised his head to look at Neuhaus. The older man's face was serious and composed. "I'm willing to disappear from his life if that would benefit him. I'm willing to stay if he wishes. I'll do whatever he wants. He owns me." His gaze hardened. "But no matter how jealous you might be of him, his sexual preferences are nothing of your concern."

With slow movements, Yukio picked himself up. He took his glasses from the ground and put them on, even if they didn't have any piece of glass on, just the skeleton. "Even if that is the case…" He stated, hoarsely. "There is nothing you can do that will erase your sins." They were both Exorcists, members of the clergy. They knew very well the rules of the church. "My brother was hurt by you, and no matter what you might feel now for him, emotion alone can't make your actions disappear. I don't care what you think about me or what you believe I feel. Never touch Rin again. You're only harming him." And with those words, he walked away and disappeared. Neuhaus stayed in the darkness of the corridor alone, without moving an inch.

Yukio had to get back to Rin. If Neuhaus' words were true, Rin had been raped and tortured… and he had told him that he was disgusting! This was the worst… The worst! What kind of deranged relationship was this? Rin had told him he liked Neuhaus… If Neuhaus didn't like Rin, he wouldn't bother to overhear them and make a fuss over their fight. He had to ask Rin.

He stepped into their room, only to see Rin crying, fallen where he had left him. His twin brother was curled on the floor, sobbing quietly and hugging Kuro. Yukio's heart could take no more, it broke. He fell down and hugged Rin from behind. "Nii-san… Nii-san…"

Rin jumped a bit in surprise. He saw Yukio clutching at him desperately, calling at him, sobbing. His own tears stopped falling and he let Kuro, who slowly got out of the room, choosing to leave them alone. Rin tried to turn to face his brother. "Yukio… I don't disgust you…?" He uttered, disbelievingly.

Yukio shook his head and hugged Rin again tightly, this time from the front. "There is nothing in the world you could do and would make you disgusting to me, nii-san. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry for what I…"

Rin hugged him back just as tightly. "Hush. It's okay, Yukio." He whispered, his heart now in peace. Thank God, Yukio didn't hate him!

"Nii-san… I'm sorry I wasn't here to protect you when you needed me!" Judging from that line, Rin guessed that Yukio had run into Neuhaus and had learned the whole truth. He lowered his eyes sullenly. He felt Yukio's fingers running through his hair. "I love you nii-san…" Yukio sobbed harder. "The only thing I want is for you to be happy! Trust me, if I believed that you could find happiness with that man, I wouldn't object, even if I wouldn't like it! But I really don't think…"

"Stop it Yukio, enough!" Rin interrupted him. He would take the decisions for his own life. "I know what I'm doing!"

Yukio broke the hug, so he could look at Rin straight in the eye. He had stopped crying. "Him or me, nii-san? Who is it going to be?" Rin looked at him incredulously. Yukio proceeded on elaborating. "If you had to choose one of us and lose the other, who would it be?" He swallowed hard and waited.

"Yukio, what are you saying?" Rin almost glared at him. "You're my brother! My family! There is no one in the world that I would choose over you! Don't say that ever again!"

Yukio's eyes widened. He hadn't expected that answer, yet Rin had so simply given it, like it was a token. "I see…" He smiled. "Thank you, nii-san." He still was the most important person for Rin. That was enough for him.

Rin blushed. "Idiot. You have nothing to thank me for." He looked away, a bit embarrassed. He mentally noted that he needed to speak to Neuhaus the next day. Sort it out. For now, he had to stay with Yukio.

At the same time, in Mephisto's office, a sound of glass cracking was heard. Mephisto, who was sitting on his chair behind his desk, had dropped the cup of tea he was holding, along with the saucer. He only stared at his – somehow - student in shock. "You did WHAT?" He finally squealed.

"…And given the circumstances, I would like to submit my quitting request." Neuhaus concluded, standing in front of him. Confessing his sins to a demon was unorthodox, but Mephisto didn't count for one. He had told him everything; he knew Mephisto would never tell a soul. He always preferred gathering private information for himself, so he could manipulate the subjects later. Whatever, it wasn't Neuhaus' business anymore. There was no way Mephisto would like to keep him around after knowing what he had done.

Mephisto shot up. "Preposterous! Such a huge deal going on under my nose and I didn't notice anything!" He started paving around the room in circles. "I must be losing my touch… Maybe my abilities rusted! I'm getting old?" He muttered to himself. He knew that something was happening between Rin and Neuhaus after the Vow, but even his wildest imagination couldn't picture something of that size. And he had lived for a long time, he had seen much! This one surpassed them all… And that meant…

_Interesting!_ Yes, that meant it was damn interesting! Mephisto was suddenly feeling like a kid being gifted candy unexpectedly.

"If you decide on a punishment, I'd be glad to take it." Neuhaus tried to catch his attention, as Mephisto seemed lost into his own little world. "I know I have to pay for what I did to one of our students-"

"You humans are so bizarre!" Mephisto suddenly exclaimed, almost making Neuhaus jump. "You go on and on about the evil deeds of demons, but you relish in doing much worse things than they could ever do, given the chance! You're such hypocrites!" He laughed. "Really, such hypocrites! You like so much being demons it's so weird!"

Neuhaus curled his fists and lowered his head a bit, his black hair covering his eye. He felt like he had to defend himself. "I know that what I did was terrible! I regret that…"

"You don't and you know it!" Mephisto cut him off, pompously. "Even if we were to turn back the time, you would still do the same and with great pleasure! Don't try to mess with me, my pupil. I've learned about humans well enough all those years. You'd fuck the kid again and love every second of doing it!"

"NO! I don't want Rin to hurt!" Neuhaus yelled desperately. He understood that Mephisto was trying to manipulate him into something, but some things needed to be said. "If, as you said, I could turn back the time, I would never… I would never do that to Rin! If only I could… If only Rin would never get hurt like this!" Neuhaus' knees could no longer support him, he fell on the floor, hiding his face in his hands from the intense despair. "If only Rin would never lose his innocence this way… If he could still be unaware of those horrors and smile as wide as he used to…" He whimpered. "If only I could erase all the mistakes…" He shuddered, unable to control the pain and the guilt. _If only Rin had never loved me… He would be happy… _

Mephisto stood and looked at the broken human being in front of him for some moments. Humans could also be so self-destructive. "Well…" He finally said. "I can't turn back the time." He smirked. "But I can do something that will possibly be akin to your wish." Neuhaus slowly took his face out of his hands and looked up and Mephisto, who was now grinning wolfishly. "Do you wish to make a bet with me?"

_One with your life on the line… I just love those!_

Rin woke up the next morning. He yawned and stretched. Yesterday Yukio had returned from his mission… oh no, did that mean he'd have to go to school soon? He groaned in displeasure. He wanted to sleep some more… What classes did he have? First hour with Yukio, next with Shura, then with Tsubaki-sensei and last but not least, with Neuhaus-sensei. He groaned louder. Damn, that guy was always giving him the chills, even worse since when he had tried to kill him… Was that three months ago already? Ok, he had to say that had gotten used to it by now.

He got up reluctantly, scratching his belly. He stumbled towards the bathroom and looked at his sleepy face in the mirror. Did he have something to do today? He had such a feeling. Someone to meet? Something to tell? Nah. He quickly dismissed the thought and took off his clothes, stepping into the shower.

For Rin no longer remembered a thing.

Not a thing about him and Neuhaus.


	12. Shattering

**A/N: The most reviews from the previous chapter were starting with a "Nooo!" Were you all conspiring or something? :P Aw, but it was so cute! ;) Did you really think I'd let things end like this, without some more agony or romance? Maybe I will? Haha, I'm not answering, you'll have to see in the chapter! By the way, I'll notify you in the notes clearly when it's going to be the last chapter, so don't worry. Please, read, review and enjoy! ;) **

"_A bet?" Neuhaus repeated numbly. He was around Mephisto long enough to understand that now he had turned into pray for the demon. His weaknesses and terrible sins were making him perfect for that role, it didn't matter how loyal he was, how many years he had served under him or if he had benefited from his knowledge. _

"_Oh yeah!" Mephisto answered without hesitating for a moment. He was having so much fun! "You see, what's been done can't be undone. You can't take back what you did, but there is something that will make your precious boy stop suffering for good." He winked. "Because, it doesn't matter what has happened if he doesn't remember it at all, does it?" _

_Neuhaus' eyes widened. "You're not talking about…"_

"_That's exactly what I'm talking about." Mephisto took out a clock from a drawer in his desk. Not a usual one. "Memory erasure." He shook the clock left and right. "During just one night, Okumura Rin will have forgotten everything that has happened to him from the day you… made use of the Vow. Okumura Yukio will also forget what he learned today, and since the demon cat can talk to Rin, it will forget what it knows about the two of you too. They will all be implanted by fake memories of a normal, everyday life. How perfect is that?" Mephisto twirled around in his enthusiasm, before stopping abruptly to clarify: "Of course, it doesn't come for free."_

_Neuhaus stood up, trying to gather himself together. He already knew the price for that, but he never mattered. His own self counted nothing against Rin's happiness. Rin would forget about him… He would forget that he had ever gotten raped. He would also forget all the kisses and the embraces and the confessions and the wonderful moments… But it was okay. Neuhaus would remember and that would be enough. Rin could go on unmarred. "You're taking my soul?"_

"_That would be boring." Mephisto chuckled. "I told you about a bet, not a trade. It would be so easy to just take your soul right now it's not even funny. I have souls. What I want is entertainment!" The demon exclaimed. "And there's nothing more amusing than observing the human behavior in extreme conditions." He narrowed his eyes. "You told me that if you could erase everything, you would never hurt the Satan's son again. But allow me to disagree." Mephisto was enjoying this way too much. "Let's see who's right, shall we? If you are unable to take your hands off of the boy, your soul is mine. But if you leave him alone, I'll just add today's deed in my short list of charities." He bowed theatrically. "It's all in your hands, really."_

"_I see." Neuhaus nodded in understanding. "Do it." He stated decisively. Opportunities like this one only showed up once in a million years. It would be more than stupid to waste it._

_Rin would finally find peace and innocence again. _

_Even if that meant they had to revert back to strangers. _

Rin walked into the class with a huge grin plastered on his face. "Good morning everyone!" He greeted his classmates cheerfully. Everyone looked at him somewhat questioningly. So much time had passed since Rin looked like this, they had almost forgotten how it used to be. It was crystal clear that something had changed. Rin sat on his desk, humming a rhythm, as he took his books out of his school bag. He noticed that everyone was looking at him. "What?"

Shiemi smiled with all of her heart. "Nothing Rin." She locked eyes with him and sat next to him, without breaking the eye contact. "It's nothing, really." Rin was happy again and Shiemi was satisfied with it. No matter what might had happened, everything seemed to be alright now and she was fine with that. Rin blushed intensely. The next moment, Yukio walked into the class, ordering them to sit down, and Shiemi's suspicions were confirmed. Rin was so down all this time because Yuki-chan was gone! But now he had returned, everything would get back to normal! She even giggled a bit.

Bon, on the other hand, wasn't convinced at all with that explanation. He didn't know what the others might think, something in this story didn't add up. Rin's behavior was so strange it just raised his doubts. Kamiki would probably narrow her eyes a bit and then forget all about it, Shima and Konekomaru were lost into their own little worlds, Shiemi was far too dumbly innocent… Bon hadn't forgotten his train of thought the previous day. What could he do now, try to worm it out from Rin? Some questions couldn't hurt. He decided he'd ask after class. The last hour they had Neuhaus either way, maybe he could understand more then.

The day passed by like any other usual day. Rin behaved like a normal teen of his age, subtly flirting with Shiemi and teasing Konekomaru along with Shima. That day, they had the demon taming class in the storehouse. None of them had ever been there before, so they were having fun just guessing what could possibly be there. Rin was sneaking up behind Konekomaru posing as a creepy ghost, but he ended up scaring Shima more than the tiny guy, when he said something about spiders. By the time they reached the door to the storehouse, Bon was grabbing Shima from the back of his collar, preventing him from running the hell away. He smacked Rin upon the head too as punishment for giving him trouble, before they walked in.

"You came?" They heard their professor, but they couldn't see him. In front of them were presented countless lines of shelves, filled with neatly arranged jars. Neuhaus stepped forward and appeared. "We'll be starting from the left." He turned and everyone followed him, commenting on the quantity and the variety of the jars. Shiemi had little stars on her eyes, she could bet that all those medicines or whatever they were, were coming from plants! She couldn't hide her excitement.

"You think there are spiders in here?" Shima whispered to Bon, looking frighteningly around. Bon didn't even bother to answer.

"All of the substances here have been made by special ingredients." Neuhaus started explaining and Shima shut up immediately. "It is necessary for you to know what each is and what it is consisted of, because it can be proved very helpful in life or death situations against demons." He put his hand onto the shelf next to them. "This shelf here is filled with medicines against acidic fluids. They mainly consist of valerian, aloe and salt. The next one…" He proceeded and everybody followed at his heels.

Rin got bored into mere seconds. He knew there was no way to memorize all of these materials and drugs. He wanted to yawn, but he refrained from doing so. Neuhaus hated him enough as it was, it wouldn't be wise to provoke him further. It was surprising that he even stayed in the academy after he had attacked him, and unbelievable that he was still giving classes like nothing had happened. Still, after some minutes, Rin starting feeling sleepy. Today just couldn't spark his interest. He leaned against the shelf behind him.

"And this," Neuhaus showed them that same shelf Rin had chose to relax on. "Is reinvigorating potions. Very rare and very expensive. They consist of truffle mushrooms, so they cost…"

Rin lost his balance and so did the shelf. He regained it at the last moment, but the object wasn't so lucky. It fell back with a loud crash, glasses shattered everywhere and multi colored fluids painted the ground like a rainbow. Rin cringed at the deafening noise, only hearing everything being destroyed was painful. For some moments, nobody spoke. The shock was too great for everyone to utter a word.

"…they _used_ to cost a fortune." Neuhaus finally managed to correct. _Try. Not. To. Kill. Him. Try. Not. To. Kill. Him. Try. Not. To… _A black aura surrounded him and his only eye shone dangerously. The rest of Rin's classmates took one step behind and started whistling indifferently.

Rin realized there wasn't much brains needed in the situation to realize in how much trouble he was. "Um… Uh… Eh…" He couldn't find any coherent words! Maybe if he offered to clean this up? Go and try finding those damned truffles? Neuhaus came and stood in front of him, without saying anything, but his killing intent was passing through Rin like a draft. Rin ran a hand nervously into his hair. "Ah… Sensei… you… won't say anything?"

"Do you _want_ me to?" The answer came short. Neuhaus was _this_ close to bite his head off.

"You say I don't, huh?" Were those treacherous classmates of his waving goodbye or something? He could swear he could see Kamiki wave a handkerchief at him! And was Konekomaru chanting funeral's prayers? Wait, Shiemi was crying! …And Bon had the you-got-that-coming look!

"I say you don't!" _Damn you, you clumsy kid! _

"…Detention?"

"How did you guess, now DISAPPEAR!" Neuhaus roared and almost stomped his foot down. Rin did as told. Bright side of the story, he got away of that boring lecture. Dark side, he'd have to face the consequences later… His damn luck! Detention after class with Neuhaus alone, oh joy and irony! Sarcasm was the only way to deal with this… He reluctantly made his way towards the classroom, waiting there. And he had thought that he had only 20 minutes left that day! Now he got detention! Okay, it was his fault that he destroyed school property, he had to admit that, but he didn't mean to! Alright, so he almost fell asleep in class! Big deal! He did that every day!

He slumped into his desk. _Now that I think about it… How come they have yet to expel me? _He thought depressingly.

But he was over it soon. When Neuhaus walked in, Rin had fallen asleep staring at the ceiling. "Wake up!" His teacher brought a book on his head. Rin yelped at the sudden awakening. He felt the urge to tell him off, but he couldn't give him a reason to allow him to beat him into a pulp. Rin remembered that on his arm, there was still the Crimson Vow. Being alone with Neuhaus could be dangerous… It wouldn't be smart to anger him. He'd just have to be obedient for now. Neuhaus dropped the book onto Rin's desk. "Here. In the one hour this detention lasts, do your homework and stay quiet. I have better things to do than pampering you!" He revealed some papers and sat on the teacher's desk.

"I'm not thrilled about this either!" Rin spat at him, but opened the book nonetheless, sulking. That's right, he had a chemistry test for tomorrow, by Yukio, concerning potions. That little brother of his, second day at work and he already put them a test! 'To see in what level they had progressed while he was gone…' Bullshit, Yukio just enjoyed power, Rin could tell! He knew that Shura was replacing him, so the strongest possibility was they had just stepped behind. He read a little… And didn't understand shit!

"Argh, I'm not getting this, this is impossible!" Rin exclaimed after a while, messing his hair with both of his hands. He remembered he had been a good student that month that had passed – how come, he had no idea -, but now he just couldn't gather himself together! It just wasn't happening, his mind wouldn't obey him, he couldn't concentrate! There was no way he could get this done!

Neuhaus saw him struggling. He sighed, got up and approached him. Rin stopped nagging and observed him carefully, ready to defend himself if he had to. Neuhaus grabbed a chair and sat next to him. "Give me the book." Rin stared at him, feeling a bit awkward at the very close distance between them. "Just give it to me." Neuhaus took it away from Rin's hands, and placed it on the desk, turning the pages to the first. "Let's start again. Underline what I'll tell you."

Rin hesitated for a bit, but then did as told. Neuhaus instructed him what to read, what to ignore, in which parts he should pay more attention. It didn't feel bad, being tutored like this. Now he was starting to get the hand of it. Soon they were over with theory and started on the exercises. This was where Rin was having the most trouble. "Um… I find the volume, how again?" He asked, scratching his head and chewing on his lips.

"Simple method of the three. Try it once. Here, in this problem." He pointed somewhere on the page, and accidentally touched Rin's fingers, which had been there trying to make it easier for Rin to understand the remarks. He withdrew his hand, he had to control himself in order not to do it too quickly, or otherwise, entangle his own fingers with Rin's. He was glad that Rin was happy again, of course, but… he was so close to him… He could smell him… Feel his body warmth… Their thighs were almost touching… Oh how desperately he wanted to run his hand on Rin's thigh and fondle him! Lust was such a powerful feeling, it overruled him, but Rin could never, _ever_ suspect that his teacher had such feelings for him! Neuhaus couldn't but remember all the times he had enjoyed the body of the young boy. His heart started pumping insanely; he wanted to ravish him right now! It would be easy… Rin still had the Vow. They were alone. The class was soundproof. All he had to do was lock the door, shove Rin down and…

…and have him cry and beg and suffer. Just like all the other times. His hard work would be for nothing, his soul would be consumed and Rin would sink in despair without even knowing that Neuhaus loved him. Tutoring him wasn't a good idea. The boy looked so adorable, trying to figure things out! Well, he always did…

"I did it!" Rin let out happily. "Look, sensei!" He grinned and proudly presented the works in his notebook. But he noticed that Neuhaus didn't seem so pleased. His bangs were covering his eye and it was clear that he was thinking something else. Something not pleasant. "…Sensei?" Rin's eyes looked away, feeling downcast. He thought he knew why.

Neuhaus stood up. "Okay, now finish your work." _I can't stand near him any longer! _Humans always yearn for the forbidden, and now that he knew he could never have Rin again, he desired him even more. He didn't give a damn about his own soul; it was Rin's mental health that mattered. Otherwise, he let Mephisto erase Rin's memories for what purpose? No, this had to be a happy ending! …He knew he didn't feel happy, but he wasn't supposed to. Villains don't feel happy in those endings. He walked towards his desk.

"I know you despise me." Rin's voice stopped him. Neuhaus turned and looked at him, with slightly widened eyes. Rin was looking down sullenly, he wouldn't meet his eye. "I know that you strongly dislike me for what I am and I can't do anything about it… But isn't it painful? To be forced to be so near someone who you hate with a passion…" His voice dropped.

"I don't hate you." _That's not the kind of passion I'm feeling for you… Not anymore. _

Rin looked up, surprised and perplexed. "What?" Neuhaus sighed and came to stand before him.

"I said I don't hate you." Neuhaus placed his hand onto Rin's head, caressing his black locks. "Don't worry about it." He ran his fingers through the silky hair, trying to soothe Rin. He always did this, before or after the rape, trying to settle the boy down. Now Rin was looking him with those big, innocent blue eyes, completely unaware, cheeks all red and he couldn't utter a word. That's right… He still had the Vow. He took his hand away. "Stand up." He ordered him.

"Why?" Rin eyed him suspiciously. It was really great that his teacher said he didn't hate him, but he had started feeling uneasy at the contact. He didn't know what could come… What if it was just a trick of making him let his guard down?

"Because I say so." He moved around, grabbed Rin by his right arm and lifted him on his feet. Before Rin could protest, he tugged his short white sleeve up and revealed the mark of the Vow.

Rin started getting scared. Even if his mind had forgotten, his body hadn't. "W-What are you doing? What are you going to do? Let me go!" He yelled and tried to get away. He knew that the Vow was leaving him at the mercy of the other man, totally unprotected and weakened. He tried again to squirm away, but Neuhaus turned him around, so that the boy's back was right against his chest, and wrapped his arms around him. Rin started thrashing and screaming for help, but it was useless, nobody could hear them in there. He wanted out of those arms, they felt so painful, he was scared shitless and he didn't know why, a huge weight had just landed on his chest and he shuddered, he couldn't handle this agony! _He'll hurt me! He's going to hurt me! _That was the only thing he could think of. _Yukio! _

Neuhaus took some deep breaths into Rin's hair, feeling the boy whimpering in his arms. How excruciating must it have been for him, when one month ago he… he had done something so unforgivable. Rin… He wanted to continue, kiss him on the neck, but he couldn't allow that to happen. Rin stopped moving, like the small animals freeze in order not to be seen by their predator. When he did that, Neuhaus brought his own thumb in his mouth and bit it hard. Blood trickled down. He pressed it where the Vow was, on Rin's upper arm. Rin swallowed hard. "Granted by the power of Father, Son and Holy Spirit…" Neuhaus' eye watered up, but he wouldn't let it show. This was where it all ended between them. "I'm declaring that I am, now, satisfied."

To these words, the mark shone brightly golden. The light was blinding, but it wasn't painful, Rin closed his eyes by instinct. He then opened them up hesitantly, to see that the Vow had started shrinking, and then, abruptly, it shattered, disappearing for good. Rin stayed there, breathing heavily in the aftershock. It had been erased! The Crimson Vow… The Crimson Vow was no more!

Neuhaus let him go, and Rin stumbled forward, two steps away from him. "You're free now." The older man's voice was cracking, and his bangs were once again covering his eye. He couldn't look at Rin, he wasn't that strong. _Go Rin… Go and let's end it here. _That was why he was shocked to see that Rin was crying.

And indeed, tears were running down Rin's cheeks freely, as he was looking at his professor. The part that sucked the most was that he didn't have a clue why. It was a good thing that he had gotten rid of that chain, wasn't it? Now he wouldn't have to bend his head down to anyone without putting up a fight. But still, it felt like something had broken inside of him. He could sense that he was missing something important, this man's presence around him was more familiar than it should have been, his arms had felt weird, menacing yet secure, his voice, his touch… Rin grabbed his bag and shot out of the classroom, without looking behind. He dashed down the hallway, wiping away the tears. What was he, a heart-broken ten-year-old schoolgirl or something? Since when had he become so sensitive? Yukio had always called him an insensible brat, now what happened? Lost in his thoughts, he fell upon someone without realizing.

"Ouch! Okumura, what the hell is wrong with you?" Rin looked up and saw Bon. He was relieved to see a familiar face. "Of course, I was looking for you, and here you go falling right into… What happened to you?" Bon stopped scolding him, when he saw Rin's flushed face and reddened eyes. Was he crying? He was definitely crying! "The detention didn't go well?" Rin shook his head negatively. As he had guessed, it was that bastard's fault! "Did Neuhaus do something to you?"

"No, no, what I meant to say was that it went good…" Rin ran a hand through his hair, awkwardly. "…It's nothing." What could he say, when he, himself, couldn't understand?

Bon sighed. "Come on, follow me." They both walked outside, and Bon noticed that Rin was keeping himself close to him, like seeking protection. They sat down on the stairs that lead from inside the building towards the yard. Bon opened his bag and handed Rin an orange refresher. "Here, it's good." He told him. Rin took it in his hands, opened it and sipped a bit.

"Yeah… It's cooling." Rin agreed and drank some more. It was really helping him to calm down. They stayed in silence for some minutes. Then Bon asked:

"Is there anything you would like to say to me?" Rin looked at him. "You're always trying to bear the weight of every situation alone, since I met you." Bon started explaining. "I know you are much stronger than the rest of us, but that doesn't mean there won't come times you will have to depend on us. Life isn't filled only with physical battles. If you remain alone, you won't be able to handle it. So if you have anything to say, desire some comfort or consult… That's what friends are for." Bon indicated at himself and smiled at Rin a bit.

"Bon…" Rin whispered. Then he looked down at his refresher. "Do you hate me for being Satan's son?"

"What?" Bon sweat-dropped. "_That's_ what you understood from what I just said?"

"Just answer the question. I know the answer, but say it to me." Rin locked eyes with him, serious. Bon didn't know where Rin wanted to get at, but he'd play along.

"No, I don't hate you." He simply told him.

"Why?" Rin asked immediately. Bon looked at him wide-eyed. "I have Satan's blood running through my veins. His genes. I'm only half-human, I'm not an existence like you. Someday I may turn evil. How do you know it's safe around me?" He had to know! How could someone stop hating him, despite being what he was?

Bon looked at him sadly. "That's what was tormenting you all along?" The question was more like a statement. "You're human, Okumura. It doesn't matter what your blood is consisted of. You've been raised by humans, you always thought that you were human, you still believe that you are one. You consider humans, and not demons, as your allies. I don't hate you because I came to know you. You said you'd beat Satan. You told me to trust you!"

Rin narrowed his eyes. "Oh? So, a human kid that's raised by wolves, and believes that he's a wolf, turns to a wolf just because of that?"

"Okumura…"

"And what does it matter what I've told you!" Rin shot up sharply. "It's just words! How would you know if it's the truth or if it's lies?"

"So saving us all those times was a lie too?" It was Bon's turn to stand up and glare into Rin's eyes. "We all trusted you because you knew who you were! Fujimoto Shirou's son! You never doubted yourself! You can't afford to do that now! You have to have faith in yourself, Okumura! And gradually, it will show that you are a good person! Everybody will believe you, but how can they do that if you just whine about it?"

Rin lowered his eyes. "I love you all so much… If something were to happen to you because of me…"

"Don't worry, if something like that happens I'll kill you." Bon cut him off, dismissingly. It was so blunt that Rin giggled. It was also so strangely reassuring. Bon noticed him. "Have you cheered up now?"

"Yeah… Thank you, Bon." Rin looked at him in the eyes, smiling sweetly. "I really, really like you."

Bon blushed so badly you could cook an egg on his face. "Idiot! Moron! Stupid! Imbecile! There is no need to say something like that!" Bon totally messed what he was saying out of his embarrassment. Rin remained looking at him, innocent and stumped, also secretly having his fun with Bon throwing a fit over nothing. It stopped being so fun when Bon performed a headlock on him when he understood he was snickering, but anyways. Hanging out with Bon, he had forgotten that fateful detention.

After some hours, the night came and Rin fell on his bed. It was still early. Nine o' clock. Did he have something to do at nine? Did he have to go somewhere? He couldn't remember setting up a date. But he did feel like he was forgetting something. Oh well. He changed in his pajamas and got himself tucked under the bed sheets. It was early but he felt tired after that entire emotional ruckus he had undergone. Yukio or Kuro weren't there either… Sleep claimed him quickly. But it was _not_ pleasant.

_Rin found himself onto his bed, the sheets covering him gone. He realized that he was all naked. He made a move to cover himself, but his limbs weren't obeying him. They felt just too heavy to move them, like chains were holding him down. But he couldn't see them anywhere. Soon, a shadow stood upon him. Rin could almost feel it's darkness emitting. It belonged to a man. Rin could see his body, but not his face. That was hidden in the shadows, all black, unrecognizable. "How beautiful you are..." The man spoke, but his voice fell distorted to Rin's ears, almost inhuman. He trembled, the compliment seemed so threatening…"I'm going to fuck you hard… So hard…" He cupped Rin's abdomen intimately. Rin had been totally overcome by horror._

"_No… No, please, no!" He begged lifelessly, but couldn't lift a finger to protect himself when said man came and climbed on the bed, kneeling between his legs. "No… Have mercy on me!" Rin hiccupped. "Please…" The face, he couldn't see the face! Did he want to? Did it matter? "Don't do this to me!"_

_He wasn't sure if the man even heard him. He unzipped his pants and revealed his cock. Rin's eyes widened in shock and terror, it was big, it was too big for him to handle. "You see this?" The man asked him sadistically, while running a hand on it, making it harder and more erect. "It's going to go right up inside you. Right up your sweet, tight ass. And you'll feel good, Satan's son! You'll feel very good!" The man chuckled and shoved Rin's legs apart violently, positioning himself, his cock pressing against Rin's anus. _

_He couldn't resist. He just couldn't. He could only pray. "No… no, no, don't, AAAAAH!" Rin screamed as the huge dick was all shoved into him with one thrust. The man grabbed him by the hips and pumped into him insanely, laughing at Rin's agony. Rin could only scream as he was feeling it rubbing inside him, tearing his skin, it didn't fit, but was still making its way up to the hilt, Rin could even feel the blood running out. This was so shameful, so humiliating, a man was fucking him raw, Rin had never been with a woman but this man enjoyed this and he couldn't put up any resistance… Why… Why… _

"_Does it hurt? Does it feel good?" He could hear that mocking, cruel voice. The man had lied on top of him, covering Rin's smaller body with his larger one, as he continued thrusting into him without stopping at all. His face was right next to Rin's, but he couldn't see him, it was all so dark… he couldn't recognize the voice either, he had a feeling it had been altered. "Come on boy, tell me it feels good! Tell me I have the best cock you've ever gotten a taste of!" Tears started running down from Rin's eyes, as the thrusts became pleasant. They were steadily and repeatedly hitting a certain spot in him that sent pure delight running through his entire body. He liked it. He liked it so much. Harder… Fuck me harder… Give it to me… Rin started moaning. "That's right… You'll love this!" The man sped up and Rin started screaming from pleasure, clutching on the man's shoulders desperately and crying louder in his mortification. "I'll make it so that no one will come near you anymore…" Yukio's form appeared some steps away. Rin reached his hand desperately at him, calling for help._

"_You disgust me."_

_That was Yukio's voice. His form faded away. "Yukio… Forgive me, Yukio…" Rin cried, he didn't want his brother to hate him, but who could blame him when he was this dirty… So dirty. Who would want to call themselves his brother? _

"…_and then, when all you will have left will be me," the man on top of him continued, "I'll just toss you away! I won't need you anymore!" Rin's eyes were doubled in size by horror. "And you'll be all alone…" _

_The man disappeared, everything around him disappeared, and Rin felt falling backwards, sinking in never ending darkness, hearing only some phrases... "Look at me when I'm doing this to you, Satan's spawn!", "I have an idea. Why don't you try and say that to someone who actually gives a damn.", "You think you can just lie your way through this, Satan's son?", " …And oh please Father, don't ever let us sink into temptation." , "When will you learn that you are MINE!" _

_Who is it? Who is it? I belong to… whom? _

"NO!" Rin screamed and woke up, falling right into Yukio's arms. "No! No! No! No! No!" He started throwing punches left and right, crying.

"Nii-san! Nii-san, calm down!" Yukio held Rin tighter, trying to restrain him during the crisis. He had come back to see his older brother rolling and twitching on the bed, sweating like crazy and whimpering. He had sat next to him and tried to wake him up, finally he succeeded. Rin gradually settled down and nested in Yukio's arms, crying like a small child. "It was just a nightmare." Yukio whispered. "It's all over now. It wasn't real." He ran his fingers through Rin's hair and caressed his back soothingly. "Everything is okay."

"Yukio… Never leave me, Yukio!" Rin sobbed. "Tell me that you'll never abandon me!" That dream was the worst… It had reduced him to this… Doubting his own brother…

"Hush. Of course I'll never leave you, nii-san." Rin had asked for his help. Yukio felt proud of himself. At long last, Rin was accepting his protection! Even if it was in the spur of the moment, it was a big deal to him. They stayed like this, embracing each other for hours before the sun rose.


	13. Travel With Me

**A/N: Thanks to all of my reviewers! ;) Without you, I might have given up on this. I've already given this story a very dark side, so I thought I would make this chapter a bit lighter and more humorous. I don't know if it'll succeed, but again, remember, only a bit! ;) Please, read, review and enjoy! (please review! -puppy dog eyes-) **

"…And for one truffle costing about 10,000 yen, your total debt must be around…" Mephisto typed some more numbers in his calculator. "This!" He grinned and showed the final number at Yukio and Neuhaus. Yukio almost got a heart attack. Mephisto had called both of them in his office saying something about monetary issues, but it wasn't the best of ways for Yukio to find out the damage his brother had caused. Neuhaus was responsible too, as he was the one who took them to the storehouse. "I'm accepting both cash and credit cards! Checks will be fine too!" He winked at them mischievously, as he was sitting in the chair behind his office.

"There's no WAY we can pay for that much!" Yukio yelled, shocked and furious. "Are you crazy? Did you hear that we won the lottery or something?"

"Well in that case, I'll be cutting it out of your salary, small portions every month. Now that makes us all happy!" Playing with them never failed to amuse Mephisto.

_I knew it._ Neuhaus thought and sighed. If it was for Rin, he wouldn't complain, but the next time he'd have to get them to the storehouse, he would put him on a leash! …Maybe he'd have to do that for every class, since it was never certain what else he could cause with his clumsiness. Rin… with a leash around his neck… A black, leather one would suit him… Crawling at all fours… Naked… His tail wagging slowly around his thighs, caressing them lightly… Blushing and waiting to get… _Stop thinking like that, damn it! _

As Neuhaus was busy preventing himself from getting a nosebleed, Yukio's blood was boiling. "Nii-san, you bastard…" He murmured, so menacingly that one could almost see flames surrounding him and Rin felt the danger and got goose-bumps, even though he was at the other side of the academy, hanging out with Shiemi. "Taking advantages of a nightmare he had like that… I'm not even able to tell him off…" Yukio humped and got out of Mephisto's office, his mood really lousy. "My hard earned money…"

Neuhaus narrowed his eye. He turned to Mephisto. "Nightmare?" Rin had a nightmare?

"Why, is it something unusual?" Mephisto shrugged and grabbed a newspaper on his desk, opening it and starting reading. "Although you should know, I controlled his conscious, but I can't do anything about the subconscious. Who knows what he dreamed of."

"Wait!" Neuhaus slammed his hands on Mephisto's office, turbulent. "You mean there's a possibility he'll remember through dreaming?"

"No, you don't have to worry about that. He won't be able to see something that pinpoints you, but even so, he'd think it was just a dream." Mephisto informed him. He then put his newspaper down, showing a troubled face. "But to be honest with you, there is a possibility he will remember. Human mind is quite complicated, even for a demon. I don't really know. I guess that if you do something that will shock him greatly and remind him that he loved you, then there is a chance… One chance in a million, but still a chance." Mephisto frowned. "I don't want that. It would cancel our deal, since then I won't have offered anything. That being said, how are things going with him?" He asked in the end, intrigued.

Neuhaus huffed. "You don't have to worry. I'm not going to get near him again. Our deal remains a deal." He didn't feel like he should mention that he had given him private lessons in chemistry. Even in his head, it sounded wrong. "I broke the Crimson Vow."

Mephisto raised his eyebrow. "Really." That was the only thing he had to comment on. He smirked. "Well, you're wrong at only a small part. You see, you'll have plenty of time to be near him, as the two of you are going to travel together for some time."

Neuhaus just stared at him, unmoving. "Excuse me?"

Mephisto stood up. "Banshees. Easily broken locks in cages of dangerous demons. Angel's offer. The imprisonment plan. Don't you think that all these are a bit too much to be coincidences, in such a short amount of time?" The demon chairman started to pave in circles. "The Vatican has officially accepted Rin, but there's still someone who hasn't." He stopped walking around and looked at Neuhaus. "And that is the Pope himself."

Neuhaus needed some time to process the information. "The Pope… Has asked for Rin's extermination… Even though, the Vatican accepted him as an ally?"

"Yes, and he has many strings that he can pull aside the church so he can achieve what he wants. He acts individually, but that just means the range of possible enemies just grew bigger. Exclude the church, now we're dealing with mafia, individually paid assassins, police, security agencies and who knows what else." Mephisto informed him, folding his arms across his chest. "We need to hide him. The best way is to change locations frequently and constantly, until I'm able to present evidence of the Pope's illegal and unethical activities to the Gregori."

Rin's life was in danger. The blood in Neuhaus' veins was running cold. If what Mephisto was saying was true, they had to hide him immediately, they couldn't delay that anymore! But… "Why me?" He asked, curling his fists. "Have someone else do it."

"Oh, unfortunately, nobody else is available!" Mephisto's expression was screaming 'I'm lying through my teeth' from miles away. They both knew that it was a way of making it easier for Mephisto to win the bet. The demon played his last card. "And to tell you the truth, there's no exorcist trustworthy enough to travel along with Satan's son. Sending his brother would be like signaling to the enemies, and someone else could grab the opportunity and just give him away or kill him. Is that what you want?"

"Like you care about his well-being!" Neuhaus contradicted him, irritated.

"I don't especially, but you claim you do. It would be the perfect way to find that out." Mephisto smiled wolfishly. "Or do you want to leave him at the mercy of someone else? I can always call Angel! And he's taking his job very seriously…"

Neuhaus knew he was fighting a futile battle. "I'll do it." Mephisto's manipulative abilities were too much for anyone to handle. He just gave up. He would prove that he would no longer hurt Rin! "When will we leave? And what about Okumura Yukio?"

"We won't tell him until you both leave. You'll use a portal from here to England and you'll be fine if you follow my schedule." Mephisto tossed a folded paper at him, and Neuhaus caught it in midair. "You're leaving tomorrow. Go make all the necessary preparations."

The next day, Rin got up from the bed with big, black circles around his eyes. He hadn't slept at all again. That dream was replaying itself in his mind, leaving him restless and depressed. He had tried to sleep yesterday at noon too, but it had absolutely no effect. He was still seeing that horrible dream. That, plus he had Yukio barging into his room and starting a lecture about how important money were, and how he was working his ass off to provide them a healthy and decent lifestyle, but Rin just _had_ to go and charge them with God knows how many thousands of yen, all because he couldn't pay a bit of attention, did he think that Yukio was a breeding money machine or something, when would he learn to be cautious and responsible, and so on, and so on, and so on. Rin yawned. 10,000 yen for a mere mushroom, it wasn't Rin's fault! It was of those ridiculous people who made the cost estimation! 10,000 yen for fungus! How to sleep after that? And thus, in the training, he sucked. Shura had gotten irritated. He wondered if that was the reason she had told him to go to Mephisto's office this morning.

He dragged his feet to there, barely conscious. He really didn't feel like getting another earful from them. Didn't people have enough of criticizing him? _Go get find another job! _He felt the need to yell, but when he stepped inside the office, the sleepiness flew out of the window. Mephisto, Shura and Neuhaus were sure creating a weird combination. Shura even had the Kurikara with her, it had to be something big. His curiosity kicked in. "What's happening?"

"Nothing particularly good." Shura glared at Neuhaus. "I still do not accept that plan. If something happens to Rin, consider your head severed from your body the next nanosecond." Neuhaus almost rolled his eyes.

"Okumura-kun, let me explain." Mephisto gestured at him to come closer, and Rin obeyed. It took Mephisto about five minutes to explain the whole plan and its purpose, and at least the double amount of time for Rin to digest the information. Traveling around the world with a bodyguard, because the Pope wanted to kill him? Okay, what was the big deal with his damn luck! Would that cat and the mouse game with the church ever end? He had grown tired of being doubted all the time!

And on top of everything… "Neuhaus? The same guy that tried already to kill me once?" Rin pointed at him. "And that's supposed to be safe?" Neuhaus didn't say anything; he only stood there, with arms folded across his chest. Shura nodded in agreement of Rin's questions.

"You are alive. There is a reason for that." Mephisto stated, and Rin's suspicions wavered, as he also remembered that the Vow had been broken. If he still wanted to hurt him, Neuhaus wouldn't give away his ultimate tool. So that probably meant that it was safe around him. And if that was the case…

Rin grinned and started sparkling, wagging his tail in excitement. "Does that mean that I'm taking a free ride to travel the whole world?"

"This is not vacation! Take it seriously, damn it!" Shura and Neuhaus barked at him, but Rin didn't pay the slightest bit of attention to them. Traveling the world with someone else paying for it! Not many people had that chance! That was probably what you could call being lucky inside a sea of misfortune!

"Well, I will provide you the necessary funds and accommodation, since it was my idea." Mephisto admitted and Rin almost clapped his hands. "Oh, and before I forget: Kirigakure-sensei, if you wouldn't mind." He gestured to Shura. She sighed reluctantly and took Kurikara off her shoulder, handing it over to him. Rin didn't understand, but when Mephisto unsheathed it, his flames flew directly towards it. In no time, it had absorbed every single one of them. "It would be pointless to let you go having a censor in you. Now they can't detect you."

Rin turned around. He noticed that he didn't have a tail anymore. He touched his ears. There were no longer pointy. He was sure his canines had disappeared as well. Rin had the appearance of a completely normal human, once again, for the first time after Shirou died. He had forgotten how it felt… Blending with the crowd, being one of the many.

_Damn, the tail was sexy – don't _think_ like _that_!_ Neuhaus beat himself up inwardly. _There's no way we'll do something after all! _That was enough, he needed to take action. "Come on, let's go." He grabbed Rin's right wrist and dragged him alongside with him towards a door.

"Eh? Wait, wait!" Rin protested. "I haven't told Yukio!"

"It's okay, I'll take care of four-eyes." Shura waved at him. "Neuhaus! Don't forget! If Rin gets hurt…"

"I know, damn you." Neuhaus opened the door, revealing a portal. Rin was tossed in before he knew it, and everything in his vision disappeared. For one totally frightful moment, Rin wondered if his dream would start unfolding. Then he fell down on a gray, darkish alley, seeing Neuhaus stepping out of the portal, following him. As he touched the ground, the portal behind him disappeared. "Welcome to London." He offered his hand to Rin to get him up.

"Ah…" Rin took the hand and was instantly lifted up. He looked around him. He was so out of place! Tall buildings, a city painted in gray, cloudy weather… The air was blowing, it was chilly out there. It seemed like it would rain soon. Rin only wore his white shirt for school. He braced himself unconsciously, trying to get protected from the cold.

Neuhaus saw him. He was clothed in his exorcist trench coat, so he was alright, but Rin could catch a cold with all the humidity. "We're going." He stated, his hand constantly on Rin's wrist, starting to drag him elsewhere.

"I can walk!" Rin almost barked at him. "Let go of me!" He didn't like the restrictive feeling.

"Are you crazy? You think I don't know you?" Neuhaus counterattacked. "The moment I'll let you, if I leave you one second from my sight, when I'll turn back you'll have disappeared!"

"I'm not going to run away. I agreed to this." Rin informed him grimly. _Of course I don't know if that was right. I'm not going to trust you. _

"I didn't mean that." Neuhaus turned and looked at him. "I meant that you'll get lost immediately." He narrowed his eye. "And as soon as you get lost, it's the end for you."

"Oh please! How can I possibly get lost when I have you walking right in front of me?" Rin retorted, indignantly.

"Really?" They reached the main street. Hundreds of people were walking around in coats, passing by quickly. "Let's test it then." He let go of Rin, and the boy almost sighed from relief. They mingled with the crowd, and Rin almost forgot the cold. So many different people walking around him, in his ears a foreign language and strange noises, so unlike what he was used to, it seemed like another world, another universe. Rin was gawking at the originality. Then, a red double-decker bus appeared at the road. Rin whistled. He had to plead Neuhaus to let him ride one of those.

Speak of the devil… Rin looked around. He was nowhere to be found. "Neuhaus? Neuhaus!" Rin realized horrified that it had happened exactly what the other man had predicted. He was dawdling around and forgot to follow him! Cold sweat started running through his body. He stood there, petrified, completely clueless about what to do. He had no money, no identity card, he knew only the basics of the language, he didn't know where he was or where to go and he was only wearing a thin short-sleeved shirt during a snappy, increasingly freezing weather. He braced himself. He felt so angry, stressed and…

Suddenly, he felt a coat being dropped on his shoulders. "I told you so." Neuhaus said to him. He had taken off his own trench coat to cover Rin. Rin clutched the valuable piece of clothe tightly around him, trying to warm himself up. He looked up at his teacher, shocked and surprised. "Come on; let's get to buy some more clothes before we go to the house." He hit him lightly at the back, as if he was trying to encourage him. Rin nodded and he didn't protest when Neuhaus took him by the wrist again. They soon reached a mall. After fifteen minutes and quick choices of only the necessary, namely one pair of pants, underwear, (seeing Rin picking underwear was quite arousing, Neuhaus thanked God he only had one eye so he could turn his head slightly around and not see anything) pajamas, and one shirt each, plus a jacket for Rin and a backpack, they headed towards the apartment Mephisto said he had rented.

As they reached the door of the apartment building, Rin asked: "Is this apartment Mr. Phele's?" He looked at the convenience store right next to it. "And is it safe with the credit card? Can't they track us through it?"

"They don't know we've left the country yet." Neuhaus pushed the door open and they took the elevator to head at the top floor. "For now, we won't have a problem, because they don't know where you've gone or with whom you are. There was a limit to the cash we could carry, so we have to use the credit card for as long as we can." The elevator stopped when they reached their destination. They got off and Neuhaus unlocked the door of the apartment. "This is it." He said, as they walked in. Rin looked around. It was neat, it seemed to have been cleaned recently, small and dull. "It's nothing special, but it'll do. Yes, it belongs to Sir Pheles, that's why we came here first, but they day after tomorrow we'll have to fly to our next destination and stay in a hotel."

"It's fine." Rin said, still looking around. He looked at the room further inside. There was only one bedroom. He turned to Neuhaus, offering a fist. "Rock, paper, scissors, for who gets the bed?" He didn't feel like sleeping on a couch after that day. And even if he did, it was matter of pride!

Neuhaus raised his eyebrow. "Are you kidding? We'll sleep at the same room." He walked forward and glanced inside. Double bed. Terrific. _I'm going to kill that idiotic headmaster! It's not going to work your way, dear 'teacher'! _"I'm not going to leave you from my sight. Who knows what might attack at night." Demons could still come to get them anywhere.

"What? I can defend myself!" Rin almost blushed. He really didn't like the idea. Somehow he had suddenly gotten embarrassed. It was ridiculous!

"I won't even comment on this." Neuhaus walked pass Rin and smacked him lightly above the head. Rin gritted his teeth, but he had nothing to counter it. "Go get undressed."

Rin's eyes widened instinctively and the blush deepened considerably. "WHAT?" Why, really?

_Damn! _"It will be all dark soon here. Even if we're not sleepy, we have to adapt to the time difference." He tossed him his newly bought pajamas. "Go."

Rin swallowed the fact and he headed towards the bathroom. He could only think about his dream and how he seriously lacked of sleep. It would be a good chance to grab. After he changed and splashed some water on his face to refresh himself, he yawned and crawled towards the bed. Neuhaus had already lied in the sheets, his back facing Rin, as far from him as he could, almost at the edge of the bed. Rin couldn't help but notice that his teacher liked the gray color. His shirts were gray, his trench coats were gray, and now his long, silky pajamas were gray. Rin mentally noted that the gray color was a sign of melancholy. Well… It was understandable, considering what he had been through. Rin had chosen light azure ones… but he didn't think that meant something.

As Rin lied at the other edge of the bed, Neuhaus could only think of how much of a torture this was for him. He was used to taking Rin into his arms when they were sleeping together, breathing in his black hair. Now he could only stand far away to avoid contact, and think irrelevant and unpleasant stuff to stop himself from getting an erection. He didn't know what he might end up doing, even with being extremely tired of organizing everything last night and hadn't gotten any sleep. Until then, he had never suspected that you could have fucked someone so many times and still lust after them so much you can't take it. He knew all there was to know about Rin's body, and still. He wanted to lick Rin's thighs, his belly, his chest, his back, even his fingers! Every inch of him! This was so messed up…

"Sensei…" He heard Rin's voice.

"Interrupt my sleep and bad things will happen to you."

Rin huffed. "I just wanted to say thank you… Cranky old man!" He murmured, loud enough, as that got him pissed off. What was that guy's problem? If he didn't like him he shouldn't have been the one to guard him!

'Old man' pierced Neuhaus' chest like an arrow. _Enough… I want to sleep…_ He thought desperately, utterly depressed from one moment to another. Okay, so I'm twenty years older than Rin! …And maybe a little more, but that doesn't mean I'm old! I'm… He fell asleep in sheer lousiness. No matter how he'd view it, he _was_ an old man, compared to Rin.

He woke up the next morning, London time, his senses stimulated by delicious odors. He turned to lie on his back, he was all tense, he hadn't moved an inch from where he fell last night. He looked at his left… Rin wasn't there, the bed was empty.

He shot up. _Rin!_ He thought panicked for a moment, but then he heard noises from the kitchen. Accompanied to the smells, and remembering that Rin liked to cook, he easily concluded that Rin had just woken up to make breakfast. He rubbed his face with his hands to shake off the sleepiness, almost embarrassed that he had gotten this scared of Rin not being beside him. Though he knew he should leave Rin alone, he treasured the moments he was gifted to be together with him in this trip. He just wanted to be able to be near him for as long as he could. And Rin didn't remember anymore, so it was okay, right?

He got up slowly, got dressed and walked towards the kitchen. He indeed saw Rin having the stove on and preparing some food. The coffee machine was already filled with hot coffee. Rin was walking around, putting in place anything necessary, with a small smile. So he really did like cooking that much. "Wouldn't you make a fine housewife." Neuhaus commented as he walked in, smirking.

"If you came here to insult me and spoil my mood, first thing in the morning, go right back from where you arrived." Rin retorted and focused on his work, without bothering to turn to look at him, too busy with the muffin pan.

"So rude. And I only meant to give you a compliment." Neuhaus came and stood right behind Rin. "What are you cooking?" He asked, putting his hands on the counter, trapping Rin's body inside them, without really thinking about it, looking over the boy's shoulder at the pan. Rin had never cooked for him when they were going out… Not that they were going out. But it was commonly heard that Rin was an expert at that.

_Isn't he a bit too close? _Rin thought, and he was a bit disturbed to find out that he didn't really mind. "Just some pancakes we can eat with honey. I additionally boiled some eggs, there is also peach jam, croissants, and I made some sandwiches we can take with us when travelling. Oh, and coffee. I guess you like it bitter?" He delivered the last line with a sarcastic mood.

"Again, how rude." Neuhaus stepped back, away from Rin, looking at the counter. "Nevertheless, I'm surprised that all of those ingredients were here. Mr. Pheles told me he had prepared the house but I didn't think…"

"Oh, they weren't. I stepped out this morning and bought them from the convenience store next to the building." Rin offered nonchalantly. "I used the credit card."

Neuhaus' heart almost stopped. He didn't say anything for some moments. "What?" He finally said, in a calm and quiet voice.

Rin noticed the tension which was suddenly created. He turned. He had seen that face before on Neuhaus, the face of quiet, flaming rage. He couldn't remember when, but he felt, deep down his core, that it was absolutely dangerous. He didn't dare to say anything. He just looked at the other man's eyes, waiting, hiding the bad feeling.

"Okay, let's start this trip with some valuable rules." Neuhaus tried to calm himself down by speaking. He couldn't afford to hurt Rin anymore. Rin didn't seem scared for now, that was good. "You're never, _ever_ supposed to leave my side! If you want to go anywhere, you should notify me to come with you. Demons might attack, assassins might attack, I have the duty to protect you. I'll be the only one who uses the credit card too. If, sometime later, they find out that we used the credit card in a shop right next to a building Mr. Pheles owns an apartment, I think they _might_ notice that he helped us escape!"

Rin gritted his teeth. He had messed up again, without meaning to. He wasn't fixable. And he had woken up in such a good mood this morning… When would he learn?

Neuhaus noticed the change in his mood. "Well, I guess it's okay for this once, since they can't spot us yet." He grabbed a pancake from the already done ones and took a bite. "I think I'll let it slip. Just don't do it again." He announced, sitting on the table. "And that thing is ridiculously good." Seriously, this kid had the magical hands or something?

Rin smiled a bit, like a weight had just been lifted. "Yeah, it's the only productive thing I'm good at." He said, turning his attention back at the remaining ones on the stove. They were ready. "We were only guys where I used to live so if I wanted tasty food I had to learn to make it myself." He spread honey on them and took them to the table. "It turned out to be good."

"So I guess you make your favorite food the best." Neuhaus commented. Rin laughed a bit. Neuhaus continued looking at him, asking him with the eyes.

Rin finally got it. "Teriyaki chicken. Yeah, I'm doing it quite tasty." He smiled, and looked at Neuhaus.

"Kaszanka." Rin raised his eyebrow. "It's Polish. A sausage dish. I have years to try it, though." He shrugged. Rin didn't ask why, but he mentally noted to check at the recipe on the internet.

This was so… alien. Neuhaus knew that he liked Rin, but only now he realized that he didn't know anything about him, such as his favorite food, his favorite color, his favorite music. He had just assumed that Satan's son was a monster, and he didn't need those insignificant things, but he had painfully discovered that Rin was just a normal kid, like all the other usual kids of his age. And now they were chatting like they knew each other for years, almost like a family. A family… This situation was just so… He would never even dream of hoping to be with Rin forever.

"Oh, that reminds me!" Rin exclaimed happily. "Today we'll stay in London, right?"

"Yeah…" Neuhaus raised his eyebrow. "What are you planning?" He understood when he found himself right under the Big Ben, a couple of hours later.

"This is so huge! It's magnificent! It's amazing!" Rin was running up and down from excitement. "Wow, so tall!"

"Rin we're not here for vacation." Neuhaus tried to call him back in order, but Rin was currently experiencing his first sightseeing in abroad, so he paid absolutely no attention to him. The Big Ben was so impressive that could take your breath away. Rin could only wonder when and how it was built. He tried to circle around it, to view it from all angles. "I said don't run everywhere!" Neuhaus called at him. It might be absolutely cute to see Rin close to what could be resembled as sugar overdose, but it was dangerous. He ran behind him and grabbed his wrist again. "Don't create trouble kid, you're asking for it!"

As Rin was nagging at him to let him go and that it was the first time he had that chance and he might never again see this, Neuhaus noticed a man, just some feet away, trying to reason with his crying 4-yer-old daughter. Apparently, she didn't want to be held by the hand either. They could be heard, English accent and all. Neuhaus wasn't Rin, he understood perfectly the language. "Come on Lisa, don't make such a face! Look, even that boy's dad holds him by the hand, and he's much older than you!"

_DAD? _

Neuhaus sank so deeply in depression, he could barely stand. He let go of Rin. "Go wherever you want, I don't care anymore!" Rin popped up a grin and he ran towards a lodge. _Dad? Did he say dad? I look like Rin's dad? God spare me!_ There comes a time when enough is enough. He was so depressed he sat down on a bench, feeling that mushrooms could grow around him any time, tracking his incredibly spoiled mood.

"Sensei!" He looked up. Rin was presenting him a newly bought camera, from the cheap ones that can only be used once, sparkling from joy. The difference in moods was paramount. "Let's take some pictures!"

"You're kidding of course."

"I'm not kidding! I might never again be able to come here! I'm not going to waste the opportunity!" He offered him the camera dynamically. "Take some pictures of me, I won't ask for anything else." Rin handed the camera over. "Come on!"

Neuhaus sighed. "Okay, okay. Jeez, don't you have much energy!" It couldn't hurt to play around for some time. He took the camera and got up. Rin snickered. After that, there was Buckingham Palace (he wanted to see the guards with the weird hats), Madam Tussaud's Museum, and London Bridge. And of course, a ride on the one of a kind red buses. Mephisto was paying! It would be a sin not to take advantage of that! Neuhaus knew what Rin was thinking, this trip would drag his soul out of his body. Chasing Rin everywhere and look constantly over his shoulder if someone was watching them, but it was a wise tactic to get lost in the crowd. It was almost too bad he couldn't pass him handcuffs in public. "One night's sleep in London gave you that much fuel?" What would he do after that? They had to fly to Paris the next day.

"Yeah, it was good." Rin winked and gave one thumb up. Neuhaus couldn't help but smile, as the boy was posing for a photo. But he didn't know what Rin was thinking then, as he kindly smiled back.

_Watching your back at night, I no longer have any nightmares. _


	14. Promise

**Α****/****Ν****: I love you guys who reviewed so much! I understand that the previous chapter was a transcending one, but now I'm going to make up for it! I needed something drastic, because ****Ι**** know it's difficult to earn back the audience once you've lost it. So that created this chapter! Please review and support the pairing if you like! ;) **

Neuhaus gave their passports to the clerk at the airport. They had just landed in France, Paris. Neuhaus was thinking that it was the last city in the world he'd want to step foot with Rin. The city of Love… It felt like the whole universe was mocking him (but it was just Mephisto doing that). Although Rin didn't have his tail anymore, Neuhaus could swear he was still seeing the damn thing wagging. Rin's eyes had already formed little stars at the prospect of seeing Paris. Neuhaus wondered why the hell that boy's legs didn't hurt after running around the entire London. He was still holding Rin from the wrist. Once the clerk checked on their papers, he eyed them suspiciously, had a short conversation with Neuhaus in English, but in the end allowed them to leave. He was still staring at them when they were leaving. "What's his problem?" Rin asked, a bit annoyed, as they walked out at the street, in order to find a taxi. All they had with them was the clothes and food Rin was carrying in the backpack they bought.

"He saw in the papers that we weren't related." Neuhaus had sunk in depression once again, because the clerk had actually asked if he was Rin's father. "No matter how you look at it, the people who see us together don't have in mind that I'm going to do something good to you."

"And whose fault is that?" Rin huffed. "You might fit right into London atmosphere, but here, with that trench coat and the eye-patch, you look like a mafia member who's going to rip off my kidneys to sell them at illegal market!" He actually wanted to joke about it a bit. "To be honest, I never thought that when I'd come to Paris, it would be with _you_!" Jeez, couldn't it have been Shiemi?

_Just grab a knife and stab me already, what takes you so long? _"You have a problem with the eye-patch? There's nothing I can do about it." Neuhaus tightened his grip around Rin's wrist. Rin's face twitched painfully in response.

"And you're always holding my hand! I learned my lesson in London, so stop it!" Rin tried to snatch his hand away, unsuccessfully. "It's better to make it seem like we're not walking together! We stand out!" Neuhaus opened his mouth to answer, but at that moment, a group of young girls passed beside them. They looked at Rin and blushed, waving at him slightly. Rin offered them a grin. "Bonjour, Mademoiselles!" He waved at them, and made them giggle a bit, waving back. Rin was now walking backwards, trying to watch them as much as he could, and they were still looking too. Girls in Paris had that something, that chic and cute aura that could make a guy's senses tingle.

Neuhaus tugged him violently forward. "Right. I'm the one who stands out and you're the one who isn't going to get lost!" He knew that Rin was beautiful and it was absolutely normal to have a strong appeal to the other gender, but still, it pissed him off to the point of angering him. This was bad. At this rate…

Rin followed him, but he had gotten pissed off too. "I said let me go! You have no right to touch me in the first place!" The fact that he had been appointed as his guardian didn't mean he could do whatever he wanted with him! Rin knew that, and he had taken it so far, but there really was no reason for them to act like they were getting close, or that they liked each other, or that they were being comfortable with each other. Neuhaus stopped walking abruptly and Rin almost fell on him. "What is it now?" He asked, irritated.

Neuhaus looked around, expressionless. "It was indeed a bad call not to take the handcuffs with me." He simply stated. "I wonder in what kind of shop they sell them here." He looked at Rin. "And a gag would be nice too." Rin couldn't be more right, Neuhaus was the last person that had a right to touch him, but that didn't matter right then. His safety was coming first.

"Don't you refer to that kind of shop?" Rin pointed across the street, at a sex shop. "I'm sure they have and gags, and fluffy pink handcuffs and all!"

"How wonderful!" Neuhaus responded sarcastically. "Maybe they have also a dildo I can stick up your ass, since you don't seem to listen to me in any other way! Brat!"

_Oh, so this is how you're going to be?_ "What? Your own dick can't do the job?"

Neuhaus grabbed him by the collar, lifted him up and brought him near his face. "Don't push your luck with me kid!" He said through gritted teeth. "Or I'll really fuck you to shut you up!"

"How scary!" Rin scoffed. _Really, after that dream, there's nothing you could do to frighten me. _Deep down, Rin knew that his nightmare wasn't a simple nightmare, and he was determined to find what it really was, against his better judgment. There were never many things that could scare him, but now they had lessened even more. They glared into each other's eyes for some intense moments, and then Neuhaus put Rin down and dragged him along as he did before, without saying anything. They didn't exchange a single word, not even when they grabbed a taxi and arrived to the hotel. Rin was sulking and Neuhaus was expressionless, but inside, he was boiling from anger. They were still that way when they got off the car and entered the building. Rin forgot all of his anger immediately. It was a five star level hotel, all luxurious and magisterial. There were columns made by marble, red walls, leather couches, tall and rich plants. Rin whistled.

"You're not in the playground. Behave!" Neuhaus said, and let Rin's hand go. He knew it was difficult to ask from Rin not to be all impressed, but…

"…But it's so cool!" Rin chirped. He was so cute. Neuhaus thought that he could stare at Rin's happy face forever.

"Excuse me, sir; may I see your papers?" The man at the reception asked them in English, since he understood they were foreigners. Neuhaus gave them to him, and they started talking about the procedures. The receptionist wasn't so surprised that they were not related. That alone caused Neuhaus suspicions, and he decided to keep an eye on him. He requested a two-bed room. The other man looked at him for some seconds, with the thin trace of a smile, the type 'come on now, who are you kidding', but in the end he was: "As you wish, sir." Neuhaus truly wanted to kill him, but he restrained himself.

When everything was ready, Neuhaus got the keys and waved at Rin to follow him. "Thank you very much." The room was number 503, at the top floor. Rin was very curious to see the room, so he gladly obeyed. As they were waiting for the elevator, the receptionist was watching them. At some point, he couldn't handle it anymore, he approached them. "I'm sorry, sir…" He told Neuhaus. Rin looked at his teacher.

"Stay here where I can see you." Neuhaus told Rin, and the boy nodded. Neuhaus stepped away and walked towards the other guy. "Is there something I can help you with?" He asked boringly, when he came and stood in front of him.

"You know, usually I would never ask a client this question." The man was fidgeting bit, but not uncomfortably. "But I thought it might worth the risk." Neuhaus waited. The receptionist looked at Rin, who was just dawdling. "He's just so beautiful." Neuhaus' chest tightened. "Could you tell me how much he requires as payment?"

"What do you mean?" Neuhaus had to try to control himself, immensely.

"Sir, it's no secret that many clients are coming to our hotel accompanied with young prostitutes." That guy was talking so calmly about something like this; Neuhaus was so close to freaking out he couldn't believe it. Where the fuck had Mephisto sent him? He'd never again follow his instructions! "But it's the first time I'm seeing such a pretty young boy. If you could tell me his price, I would be…"

"Even your life wouldn't be enough." Neuhaus interrupted him, his piercing gaze holding the warmth of a glacier. Somebody wanted _his_ Rin! He remembered when he saw Rin kissing Angel in that classroom. Even then, the thought was making him want to die. And now, just knowing that someone had his eyes on Rin that way, it ignited blood thirst in him. He turned and left sharply, without giving any more explanations. Rin watched him as he walked near him, took him by the hand again and they walked together into the elevator. He noticed that his teacher was even less happy now than when they arrived, so he didn't utter a word.

When they finally got into their room, Rin took the backpack off his shoulders and opened it, sitting on one of the beds. "At last, a room!" He said, taking their clothes out of the backpack. "It is a relief to lie down after a trip…"

"Enjoy it as much as you can because we're not staying." Neuhaus informed him. The fact that someone else in the same building wanted to fuck Rin was making him sick, he couldn't stand there. How did it feel when he was touching Rin intimately… It was like ages ago… When he was pushing himself into him, hurting him and making him cry. And twice, when he made him orgasm. He remembered Rin's face as he came. So sinful, so defiling, so absolutely gorgeous. Oh wait… there was a time before those ones… The first…

Rin looked up at him but didn't say anything, as the other man had already drifted in his own world. Instead, he started checking their clothes. "Ah, this one has lost a button." He took out a gray shirt of his teacher's. "Do we have a needle and some thread? I can fix it." He opened a nearby drawer and fortunately, found what he was looking for. He didn't remember how he knew the way to fix it, he just knew. Neuhaus watched him as he worked on the piece of cloth. "Done!" He said after a couple of minutes, putting away the needle and the remaining thread.

Neuhaus couldn't resist, the temptation was just too big. So he had learned how to sew buttons. As Rin was watching closely to see what he had accomplished, he came and sat on the same bed, behind him, bending towards him. "Excellently cooking, satisfyingly sewing, overly nagging…" He bent further, so that Rin's back was almost touching his chest. His head was right next to Rin's as both of his hands were suddenly placed onto Rin's chest, groping it. "And look at that, still a guy!" He rubbed the palms of his hands on Rin's chest.

Rin yelped and shot up, freeing himself from the older man's grasp. "What are you DOING?" His face was all red. That right now didn't happen! It never happened! Neuhaus hadn't just harassed him! Even if it was just a joke, to mess with him! He braced himself, too ashamed to make another move.

"Look at you." Neuhaus chuckled. He got up from the bed too, and approached Rin, who stepped backwards until his back hit the wall. "We let a conversation unfinished at the street, did you forget?" Rin looked at him disbelievingly as he came to stand right in front of him, very close to him. "Do you still want me to show you what my dick can do?" He delved his hand under Rin's shirt, caressing the bare skin of his abdomen. Ah, it felt so nice… After such a long time, it was like a dose for an addict.

He was punched on the face so hard that he thought he would lose a tooth or two. Small detail that he had forgotten, now that Rin didn't have the Vow, not having his flames didn't mean he couldn't resist like a normal human. He placed a hand at the left side of his face. He could feel that his nose had started bleeding. Damn, did that boy know how to throw a punch! He was unable to turn his face to look at him in the eye. He had gotten exactly what he deserved. "Don't look down on me." He heard Rin announcing him coldly. "The fact that I'm younger doesn't mean I can't fight. I thought you knew that." Rin was serious. He stepped away. "Don't ever dare to fuck with me like that again. I'll beat you into a pulp!" He told him harshly, and left the room, shutting himself in the bathroom.

_Okay, now this was my fault. _Neuhaus thought, as he looked at the blood that had fallen in his hands from his nose. He cleaned himself up using a napkin, and looked at his reflection at the mirror. It would probably leave a bruise on his cheekbone. He knew Rin was strong, he had fought with him, but he had totally forgotten that Rin could actually resist, that he wasn't handicapped by a random magic trick anymore. He never intended to really violate him again, he just… He just wanted to teach him who was the boss here, mess with him so he wouldn't disobey him again. And maybe, just maybe, it was an act of possessiveness against the threat he had just confronted. But he was the careless one here.

He waited for some more minutes, but Rin wouldn't come out of the bathroom. He sighed, walked there and knocked on the door. "Rin." No answer. "Rin, I'm sorry. It was my fault. I shouldn't have done what I did to you. Okay?" Again, quiet. "I wouldn't really do anything, you know that." Yeah, right. Even he didn't know that. "Did I scare you?"

The door opened abruptly and Rin glared at him. That last line had stepped on his pride. He walked past Neuhaus without uttering a word, and sat on the bed, turning him his back and folding his arms across his chest.

How to handle that boy? He didn't only have to watch out for enemies, but deal with Rin too. There was no way to concern himself with a teenager's whims! Though he was right at this one case… "Come on, get up!" Neuhaus tossed him his jacket. "We're going to the Notre Dame."

Rin forgot everything in a flash. "Really?" His grin was reaching his ears. _Thank God he's a simpleton_, Neuhaus thought. They left the hotel quickly. Rin was in his own little world, while Neuhaus couldn't shake off the bad feeling. Maybe it was from what had happened previously, he hoped that was the case. He didn't know if it was safe for them to go to a church. He had offered the idea without really thinking about it, knowing it would cheer him up. And it did. As soon as they stood under the phantasmagoric building, Rin's breath almost stopped. "It's amazing." He just said.

"Close your mouth, you'll swallow a fly." Neuhaus commented and got a light punch on the shoulder as retaliation.

"I've always dreamed about coming here." Rin said simply. "Can we get inside?"

Neuhaus hesitated. It wasn't wise to push their luck like this. "I don't think…"

"Pleeeease? Pretty please?" Oh shit, Rin was giving him puppy-dog eyes! He tried ignoring him, but his resistance crumbled after about ten seconds. Why? Why couldn't Rin just let it go? Why couldn't he be uninterested about those things? Neuhaus remembered that he had come once before in that church. He got an idea.

"Follow me." He took Rin by the hand and guided him inside. They quickly climbed some stairs, turning into a corner. It was forbidden, so they were careful that nobody would see them. "No people are allowed to come here, just those who are taking care of the sculptures." He informed Rin. "But we're making an exception. Watch your step." Rin clutched the hand holding his, back in response. After a couple of minutes, they had reached the balcony outside. With wide eyes, Rin approached it, so overruled by awe that he was almost scared. The entire Paris was unfolding itself in front of him, and next to him there were the monstrous yet artistic gargoyles. Neuhaus smiled a bit, standing a bit behind him. "You like it here?" They were on top of the building.

Rin turned and smiled back. "Thank you." He said, and he meant it. "I never thought I would ever come here… And see this view." He looked back, down at the city. "It's so beautiful." He whispered. They remained like that for a while, until Rin spoke again: "This was Yukio's favorite story… The Hunchback of Notre Dame." He reminisced. "I remember, we had books, movies, card postal of the cathedral, everything! I always wanted to know what the view looked like from up here… What view Quasimodo used to see every day, when he was not allowed to leave the church, when he was ringing the bells, what he saw with Esmeralda!" Rin smiled a bit sadly. "I guess Yukio must have already seen this, in some of his missions, but it still is…" _Important to me._ Rin thought. The smile had never left his face.

"Boy, you know what?" Neuhaus came and stood right next to him. He just looked at him, and Rin looked back. Neuhaus smiled at him kindly again. "You're adorable." He told him. He had no problem to say it, because it wasn't ill-intentioned, it wasn't perverted; it was just a simple fact.

Rin felt instantly all the blood in his body accumulating in his cheeks. "What's with you?" He murmured and turned his head around. His heart was beating like crazy and he felt weird. That was the first time someone told him this… And it was serious. "Um… thank you… I guess." He said, still embarrassed. _Not that it makes me happy or anything… maybe. _

"There's no need to thank for facts." Neuhaus shrugged. "Shall we go? Do you want to stay some more?"

"Actually…" An idea dawned in Rin's head. He ran downstairs and Neuhaus followed at his heels. They passed through the campanile, but where Rin wanted to go was elsewhere. They finally reached the middle of the cathedral, above the huge flower shaped pattern. "This is it!" Rin shouted happily. "This is where Quasimodo lifted up Esmeralda and cried out 'sanctuary'!" He jumped up to stand at the marble and felt like the world belonged to him. "Wow!"

"You're going to fall!" Neuhaus grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him behind, afraid of what might happen. Rin lost balance and he fell right into Neuhaus' arms, who wrapped them tightly around him. "Don't do that again!" It was so warm in there; Rin could feel from his back his teacher's heart beating fast. Rin's hair was once again close to Neuhaus' face, he could smell him… That sweet aroma of white roses… He wanted more so desperately… He didn't mind selling his soul to the devil… Just some more…

A small noise snapped him out of his trance. He knew the sound. It was the same sound a gun does when you unlock the safety mechanism. He let go of Rin and looked behind. Nothing. Rin had heard it too. "What was that?" He asked, in a low voice.

"We're going." Neuhaus took Rin's hand and they started running. "They are watching us." He created some invisible protective circles around them, so he wouldn't have to worry of them being hit suddenly by a bullet. How? How the fuck did that happen so soon? Then it dawned at him: The hotel! They couldn't go back there! "We have to change plans." He told Rin, as soon as they stepped out, in the street. Their next destination was Berlin, Germany, but now there was no way they could get there. They needed a place where somebody could hide them. A place they knew well…

Neuhaus realized that Paris wasn't the last city in which he wanted to go with Rin. It was the next to last. The actual last one was the one they were about to go now. They grabbed a taxi and Neuhaus ordered it to go straight to the airport. Rin almost had tears in his eyes, as he was watching Eiffel's Tower from a distance. He wanted to go there so badly…

Neuhaus noticed him. "Don't you dare whine!"

"I didn't say anything!" Rin answered, but he had a face that spelled 'Christmas was just postponed'. They hadn't stayed in Paris, not even for two hours! It was such a waste! Not to mention that all of their clothes had remained in the hotel! Who found them so quickly? Damn it all!

They rushed into the airport after some minutes. "Two tickets to Warsaw." Neuhaus ordered, a bit out of breath. He turned to Rin. "We're going to Poland."

_Poland… His homeland! _Rin realized, stunned. In the meantime, Neuhaus was intensely thinking. If he remembered well from the advice Mephisto had given him and Shura before he left, the Pope wanted Rin alive for some reason, to execute him later. That meant that there was no danger with the plane crashing unexpectedly. But what if it was a trap? If they purposely let themselves show to drag them to Poland for some reason? They should know who he was, and it was easy to guess that he would choose Poland to hide. Maybe if he preferred another country? Then they would have to walk in the dark and it would be twice as dangerous. Poland was his home in the game after all. And maybe he had fret over nothing, but that was highly unlikely.

Rin was still mourning about not seeing the Eiffel Tower. He started fidgeting. Tugging Neuhaus' hand. Groaning. Neuhaus ignored him until they stepped into the plane, but after some minutes, a few veins had started popping on his forehead. As soon as it took off, Rin let out a small, whiny cry. Neuhaus had enough. "WHAT, for _fuck's_ sake!" He turned and barked at him, earning a few disapproving glares from the other passengers.

"I just wanted to go to the Eiffel Tower." Rin murmured. "I was in Paris and I didn't visit the one place that's a total must to visit!"

"Okay, okay, you know what?" If he didn't say what he was about to say, he'd have to tolerate Rin's nagging through the rest of the trip, and that was not something he was willing to do. "When this is over, I'll take you to Paris once more, to see the Eiffel Tower. Happy now?"

Rin turned and looked at him. "You promise?" He eyed him suspiciously. "With your money?"

"I promise." _Just stop annoying me already! I'll take you to Bahamas if I have to! …And I'm not your wallet! But if it makes you shut up… _

"I'll remember that promise. You'd better not back down from it." Rin smiled a bit and calmed finally down. The rest of the flight passed peacefully, and soon they had reached Poland's capital city, Warsaw. Rin didn't have the time to goof around, because Neuhaus grabbed him and put him into a taxi as soon as their feet touched the street. He told something in Polish to the driver and they took off. Rin was amazed at how naturally his teacher was speaking the language, how easily and effortlessly the words were leaving his mouth, he had to remind himself that this country was his homeland. Rin looked outside. It had a different aura from the other places they had been so far. It was closer to nature, calmer, quieter. It was like Neuhaus was from another world, different of his… Rin thought if this was where he had his family. That caused him a bit of melancholy.

The car soon left Warsaw behind. All Rin was seeing was trees for a while. He looked at Neuhaus, perplexed. "You'll see." His teacher reassured him. After some minutes, they reached another city at the suburbs of Warsaw. They stepped down from the car and it left, leaving them alone in the streets of that city. "Here is Zielonka." Neuhaus informed Rin. "It's my hometown."

"Your…" Rin's eyes widened. Did that mean that he had his house here? The house he had lived with…

"Come on." Neuhaus took Rin by the hand and they started walking on the pavement, in a normal pace. Rin was looking around curiously. Something seemed like a middle-aged fairytale. People were passing by them, glancing. "There are many people in this district who know me. But it's been a long time since I came here so I guess most of them will have forgotten." It was like Neuhaus was speaking to himself. Rin looked up at him. "Well, even if that happened…" They reached a local, small tavern. Neuhaus pushed the door open.

Rin looked inside. The walls consisted of rocks and the tables, the chair and the counter for the drinks were wooden. It was a classic, traditional tavern, where people could eat or only drink of they wanted to. The walls were decorated with horns and heads of male deer. Behind the counter there was buttery consisted of every drink and form of alcohol Rin could think of. There were no people in there yet, except a woman in her middle forties, who was putting every bottle in place. She was blonde and chubby, with pink cheeks. When she turned and looked at them, she almost froze. "Igor…?" She said, shocked. Neuhaus didn't say anything; he only walked further in with Rin, looking at her intensely. "Oh my God, Igor it's you!" The woman realized and cried out in Polish. She stepped out from behind the counter and approached them, not daring to believe in her eyes, which started watering up.

"I'm glad to see you too, Anya." Neuhaus replied in Polish as well. Rin looked at him questioningly. "She's Anya, a second cousin of mine." He explained in their language. "Since I left Poland, we've been writing to each other tactically. She's the last part of family that remained for me."

"Oh… hello!" Rin gave her his hand and greeted her in English. It felt that she was very important.

"Oh my, what a cute kid!" She squealed in her language. "Hello to you too!" She told him enthusiastically in English, and they shook hands. Rin smiled widely. "And you: Shame on you!" She changed back into her language and pointed a finger to Neuhaus, who rolled his eyes. "I've been begging you to come in Poland for fifteen years, and you were dead set against it! And now you suddenly just waltz in here, holding an almost grown up kid by the hand! You never even told me that you had one! Why? Because you did you not get remarried?"

Flames started surrounding Neuhaus. "For the LAST fucking time, he's NOT my kid! Not mine! NOT!" Anya sweat-dropped and Rin pretty much guessed what they said, even if he couldn't understand the language. Neuhaus was going crazy every time someone mistook him for his son. _Well, it's understandable_. Rin thought bitterly. Who would want to have Satan's son…

"Okay, okay!" Anya threw her hands up the air in defense. Then she bent towards Rin again. "I think you'll get along with my son very well!" She told him in English, and Rin made an effort to understand her. "Hey, David! Get your ass over here. We have guests!" She yelled in Polish. Out from a door leading to the cellar, a blond, thin and tall boy appeared. He had freckles on his cheeks and pale skin, but he seemed cheerful. After some short dialogue of greetings, meeting with his uncle for the first time and so on, David and Rin sat on one of the tables and tried to communicate properly. Clients started coming in as it got dark outside, and the place got gradually filled up with people. Neuhaus was sitting at the stands near the counter, while Anya served him vodka. "See, I remember your favorite after all this time!" She said, after a couple of hours, when she found some time from serving other clients.

"Wow that honors me." Neuhaus said boringly and took a sip, checking at Rin, who was in the table far behind.

"Even if you were just 23 years old when you left…" Anya's voice wore off. "We used to drink a lot back then."

"Yeah we did." Neuhaus looked down, at the ice cubes in his glass. With Michelle… "I'm not the same person as back then." He said, and Anya looked at him worryingly. "I've done some terrible things. If you knew them, you would no longer recognize me." He looked at Rin again. _I'm nothing else than your average rapist. _He remembered how Rin was fighting under him the first times. How he was turning his head and closing his eyes, trying to block it all away. _Rin… Rin… I didn't want to… I didn't know… Forgive me! _This was bad, the drink was affecting him. Even though he had very high tolerance, his emotional state wasn't helping. He stopped drinking immediately. He looked at Anya again.

Anya leaned onto the counter, getting close to him. "That kid…" She showed him Rin with her eyes. Neuhaus turned and looked at him once again. He was laughing and clearly having a good time. Other teens of their age had sat with them, they seemed very interested and excited about Rin's nationality and origin. They were trying to teach Rin Polish words, and he was trying to teach them Japanese. It wasn't long before they started drinking as well. "Who is he, Igor?"

"A student of mine." Neuhaus looked at his cousin straight in the eyes. "Listen, Anya, I swore I would never come in this city again after what happened. You know that very well." Anya lowered her eyes, sadly. "I am here now because I'm in a pinch. It would be fine if it was just me, but…" He looked at Rin, once again. "By boss has entrusted me his safety. There are people after us. I need you to hide us!"

Anya stepped behind. "I don't know…" She said reluctantly. "I don't know in what kind of mess you are now… I have a quiet, normal life with my family and I want to keep it that way."

"I'm not asking for much. Just the key of that room you had bought in the pension downtown. Do you still have that?" He knew the chances were slim, but…

Anya looked at him for some moments. "Okay." She finally said. "I have it." _Yes! _Neuhaus thought. Anya groped inside the pocket of her dress and fished out an old key. "But," she interrupted his joy, "I need to know who's going to step in. I want to know who I'm giving refuge to."

Neuhaus narrowed his eyes. "_I_ am going to step in. Isn't that enough?"

Anya closed the key in her fist. "What's your relationship with that boy, Igor? You're turning to check on him every five seconds!" _You adopted him, didn't you? Or at least you think he can fill the void! _

"That's my job, that's why!" Neuhaus gritted his teeth. Damn, his nosy cousin had remained nosy no matter the years. "I can assure you, he's not mine! I don't have any illegitimate children! What do you want me to do, get you DNA tests?" Anya kept staring at him. "Oh, for Jesus sake, I don't give a damn about him! It's just my job!"

"Se-nsei…" He heard stuttering. He turned and saw Rin, toppling. "Sensei… Come and drink with us!" He finally managed to say, and fell on Neuhaus, who barely managed to support him. "Come on…" Rin rubbed himself against him, lazily. "We… drink…"

David came running. "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. He only had five glasses of vodka."

_Only? Are you insane? _Neuhaus scolded him inwardly. "He's not as used to drinking as we are here. Hey Rin!" He shook the boy a bit. Rin looked at him with dizzy eyes. "Focus!" Futile effort. Apparently, it was the first time he was drinking that much, if ever. Neuhaus sighed and hugged him. "There, there." He said, rubbing his back. Rin fell limp into his arms. Neuhaus grabbed him and threw him over his shoulder. Rin giggled a bit. "Given the circumstances, we're going." He informed Anya. He extended his hand towards her. "The key, if you don't mind."

"Don't you take your job very seriously. I admire your zeal!" She gave him the key and almost stuck her tongue out at him, like she used to do when they were kids. Neuhaus wanted to smack her, but he controlled himself. "Come by again to give it to me!" She yelled at him, as he was stepping out. He knew what his cousin was thinking. That he had gotten attached to Rin. That he had adopted him or something like that. And that was the truth. Anya could never imagine what Neuhaus was really feeling for Rin. Nobody could imagine it. It was just too sick.

He got in the pension after five minutes of walking and stepped in the room without any problems. It was just like he remembered it. He tossed Rin down on the bed, who fell on it with an enthusiastic giggle. "Again! Again!" He bounced up on it, like it was a trampoline. Neuhaus rolled his eyes and didn't even answer him. He started taking off his trench coat. Rin groaned and started rolling up and down. At some point, he stopped. His eyes were fixated on his teacher, getting rid of the piece of clothing on him. An idea dawned on him. "Sensei." He suddenly said, and he sounded completely sober.

Neuhaus looked at him, hanging the trench coat on the coat hanger. "What?"

Rin lips formed a crooked smile. He got off the bed, moving seductively. "Hey, sensei…" His voice was low and alluring. He neared Neuhaus with small steps. Neuhaus had frozen where he was standing. It became all the more difficult for him to breathe, for his heart to beat normally, when Rin came to stand before him, carefully leaning onto him and rubbing their bodies together. "Hey…" He said again, rubbing his thigh on the older man's one, moving his face up, closer to his. Neuhaus could feel Rin's warm, breath on his neck, as the boy said: "Let's _fuck_."


	15. Hurt You

**A/N: I had an answer to give in this chapter… So I had to write it soon! ;) Here you go! Please, read, review and enjoy! (review! Did I plead you to review? I'm so hungry for reviews!) ;) **

_Let's fuck… _

Time had stopped for Neuhaus, as he stared incredulously at the drunken boy in his hands. Rin was still rubbing their thighs together, leaning onto him and looking at him with half-lidded, lust filled eyes, pink flushed cheeks, and slightly open lips. He was begging to get fucked senselessly. Neuhaus could feel the boy's body warmth and his breath, coming into short gasps. His member had unbelievably hardened at the mere sight. He stood there, frozen, petrified, too terrified to make a move. He looked away, trying not to lose himself into those seductive blue eyes. If he gave into temptation… Mephisto would take his soul… But screw that, he wasn't going to go to heaven either way, more importantly, Rin… "W-What?" He finally managed to ask, a bit hoarsely from the shock and the distress.

Rin chuckled. "Let's fuuuuuuck, sen-sei." He dragged the 'u' purposely, making it sound even more sensual, as he grabbed Neuhaus by the collar and rubbed this time his entire torso against the older man. "Come on… It's going to be _fun_." Rin stood at the tip of his toes and whispered in Neuhaus' left ear. Then he licked his own lips sexily, winking. Neuhaus was pretty sure that this had to be the hardest erection he had ever experienced. This was too much…

"Ah, no, no, Rin wait!" He grabbed Rin by the arms and pushed him away from him. _This is bad, this is bad, this is extremely bad! _He had actually started sweating. He had never wanted Rin more, but he knew better. He was an adult, he was sober, and even if Rin was asking for it, it would be no excuse to take advantage of an inebriated teen! "We can't…" He had swore, he would never again hurt Rin this way! Or in any way! If he did _that_… Oh he wanted so desperately to do it… The bed was just two steps away, and that wasn't helping. His grip around Rin's arms tightened, and Rin's face formed an innocent, surprised expression. It was equally as alluring for Neuhaus as his previous seductive expressions. _Just push him down! _A voice was heard into Neuhaus' head. _Push him down and if he cries, you will stop. Push him down and teach him about sex! …No… If I do that, our current relationship will change; it doesn't matter if I stop… And if we actually do it, he'll definitely regret it the next day… What will I tell him then? That I couldn't hold it in against a smashed boy? …But if he really wants it? This could be my last chance! And I still want to be with him…! I can't waste such an opportunity! _

Rin watched as Neuhaus could feel his brain getting fried from the intense internal debate. He could tell that the man was doing his best to deal with the situation, and that he was very uncomfortable with it. He tilted his head at the side. Slowly, he started giggling. Neuhaus noticed him and he stopped agonizing. Soon, Rin upgraded the giggling into bursting into laughter. Neuhaus looked at him perplexed. "I'm kidding, I'm just kidding!" Rin couldn't stop himself from laughing uncontrollably. "You should have seen your face, you totally freaked out!" Rin stepped backwards and then fell back on the bed, continuing laughing.

_I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! _Neuhaus raised his fist, trying to control his anger. _Kidding… Of course you were! _"Oh, kidding, huh?" He miraculously managed to quickly stay composed, thought the vein popping on his forehead was clearly visible. "You'd better not pull such pranks frequently. What would you have done if I had said yes?"

A new wave of laughter escaped Rin's lips. "Yeah, right! Like that was ever going to happen!"

"Impossible huh?" Neuhaus smiled bitterly. Oh, sweet irony of all heavens! When should he kill himself, now? Or should he wait tomorrow?

Rin got tired of laughing; his cheeks had even started to hurt. He was lying on the bed with his back on the mattress, when he felt a very uncomfortable slight burn in his stomach. The smile faded off his face and he sat up, taking deep breaths. It didn't go away. It was like something was moving inside his organs. "I feel… weird…" He finally said and clutched his hand above his stomach, trying unsuccessfully to stop it. "Weird…"

Neuhaus sighed. "Get up. Come." He approached Rin, took him by the arm and guided him in the bathroom. Rin looked at him bewildered. "I know what I'm doing." Neuhaus reassured him, and made Rin kneel in front of the toilet. Before Rin could even understand, he found himself puking his guts out. "Seriously, almost empty stomach and five glasses of vodka, what were you thinking?" His voice had a compassionate hue as he was holding Rin forehead while the kid was throwing up all the alcohol he had consumed. "You're lucky you're taking it out of your system."

Rin breathed heavily, trying to calm himself down. This was so disgusting; he didn't want his teacher to look at him! But more importantly, it hurt like hell and he felt like shit! His head was spinning, he couldn't focus and he could feel his stomach contracting violently, trying to reject the poisonous substance. He was feeling it empty, and yet it was trying to throw out more, but there was nothing in there… "It hurts… It hurts!" He cried out. This was new to him, he didn't know what he should do, it was a bit scary…

"Shush. It's okay." He felt Neuhaus' hand rubbing soothingly his back. "It's nothing. It will be okay." Rin let out a pained cry as his stomach contracted once more. He tried to puke to relieve himself, but he had nothing left to throw out. "I'm here, Rin." Neuhaus was still holding his forehead. It calmed Rin down. "You need to take everything out, come on."

"I-I can't… anymore… I don't have…" Rin closed his eyes, full of shame. "Never… again…" He was never going to drink, not even one drop of alcohol again!

"Well, think that now you've learned your lesson." Neuhaus told him. "Are you feeling better now?" After some more minutes, until they got sure Rin wouldn't puke anymore, Neuhaus lifted him up. "Throw some cold water on your face and your neck. It'll make you feel better." He instructed the boy, and Rin obeyed. The cool water refreshed him and vitalized him. After that, Neuhaus took him to the bed and had him lie down, covering him with the sheets. "Lie on your side, never supine." He arranged Rin's position. Rin let out a small, relieved sigh. Yes, it was definitely better on the side. Neuhaus got up and opened the window. "Sorry if it's cold, but fresh air will do you good." He turned towards him. "And we don't even have pajamas anymore, sorry."

"That's okay." Rin chuckled a bit. "We'll sleep naked."

"Dream talk in your sleep." Even Neuhaus smiled a bit, understanding that Rin was continuing the joke from before. He seemed totally sober now… and kind of sad.

"I'm sorry…" Rin let out. "I'm sorry you had to see this… it was gross…" He covered his face with the sheets. He was still ashamed of himself for losing control of his actions and didn't think that he'd ever get over it…

Neuhaus sighed once again and walked towards Rin, sitting at the edge of the bed next to him. "So you think I had never gotten drunk myself?" He told him. Rin lowered the sheets and looked at him. "I was once in your age, you know. And I used to drink a _lot_!" Neuhaus smiled a bit. Rin got more comfortable over the pillow, continuing to look at him, wanting to hear more. "The reason I know how to deal with booze is because I've been through it, trust me, hundreds of times!" He chuckled a bit, remembering how he always said he was never going to drink again after a hangover, and yet he was in the bar nonetheless with his friends the next night. "This was your first, huh?"

Rin nodded. "I'm sorry." He apologized again. "Everybody was drinking so naturally… I know that's not an excuse…"

"Don't worry about it. I know what you mean." Neuhaus responded. "I remember, when I was with Michelle that one time…" He halted. Talking to Rin about Michelle? He just brought her up in the conversation like this… He stopped talking, looking down. Michelle… He remembered that the cemetery she and their kids were buried in was near… He should probably go visit. Yeah, with what kind of nerve? What's new from your life darling? Ah, nothing much sweetheart, I just raped a teenager boy… Oh, and the best part? I fell in love with him! Terrific! He shouldn't have even stepped into Poland, let alone Warsaw or Zielonka!

Suddenly, he felt a hand on top of his. He turned and saw Rin caressing it softly. "Tell me about her." He asked quietly. Neuhaus' eye slightly widened. "I'll understand if you don't want to talk… Especially to me." Rin actually hurt saying those last words. "But I'd like to know… What kind of person was she?"

Neuhaus nodded in understanding. "She was… the best." He finally said. "We met each other in high school, when her parents moved into my neighborhood. At first, we were just in the same group of friends. We… developed feelings for each other at the final year, and as we lived in a very conservative and small society, plus both of our families were deeply religious, and I had already signed up to be an exorcist, we got married only at eighteen and had children during the same year." Rin's eyes widened. Neuhaus caught his gaze. "I know it sounds unbelievable to you, but back then it was pretty common. Premarital sexual relationships were forbidden, that's why, and you were frowned upon if you didn't give birth to life soon afterwards." Neuhaus smiled melancholically, reminiscing. "Michelle was cheerful, generous, graceful and patient. She was a beautiful woman and gifted me with two beautiful children." He smiled again, now at Rin. "We had twins. One boy and one girl. Rafael and Isabella."

_And Satan… Destroyed everything. _Rin thought painfully. Neuhaus could have still been with his family, the loving family he even now cherished so much. But Satan had to go and toy with lives and feelings, burning everyone to ashes and leaving Neuhaus all alone, to be timelessly tortured my memories and scars that could never be healed, internal and external. Rin looked at his missing, left eye. Sometimes it disgusted even Rin, to know that he had originated from _that monster_. "Do you… have photos of them?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yeah." Neuhaus responded. He took his wallet out of the pocket in his trousers, opened it and presented Rin an old picture. "This one was taken some days before… that night." Neuhaus swallowed hard, but continued: "Michelle and I are 23 years old, Rafael and Isabella are five."

Rin looked at the picture. It was indeed a beautiful family. Michelle was a gorgeous woman with slender figure and long, blond hair and purple eyes. It was clear that the twins were at the same age but they didn't look alike, just like he and Yukio didn't resemble one another at all. Isabella was a girl with black hair and purple eyes, who looked serious and mature for her age, Rafael on the other hand was grinning, shining with blond hair and blue eyes. Neuhaus' younger figure dragged Rin's attention. He had both of his azure eyes, he was smiling kindly at the camera, his handsome face didn't have any lines yet and his black hair was adorning it gracefully. Rin had to admit that he was very beautiful. All of them were. They were emitting that warm and precious feeling only a true family can give. "You're all very beautiful." He actually said and gave the picture back to Neuhaus.

The older man laughed a bit. "You think?" He hadn't imagined that this was what Rin would say. "We were good…" He just said, and his voice trailed off. Now it was a chance to say everything, pour his heart open to someone. He had never done it before. "That night…" He started, and Rin focused on him. "That night I was on guard. The Pope had some kind of ritual to perform, I never learned what that ritual actually was, but I never really cared. Michelle and the kids had come to surprise me…" It was difficult, but nobody said it was going to be easy. "Tough luck, huh? They had just come when I heard screaming from inside the chapel. I ran inside, and before I could understand what was happening, everything was being consumed by blue flames."

"Neuhaus…" Rin sat up and placed a hand on the man's shoulder, worried. It wouldn't be wise to push it further…

"No, I need to talk to someone." Neuhaus supported his head with his hand, but still continued: "It didn't take me long to realize that Satan was trying to take over the exorcists' bodies. Chaos ruled everywhere… When I managed to get back outside, it was too late." His voice had turned soulless. "Rafael and Isabella were lying on the ground. I remember, it was snowing that day, and the snow around them was scarlet. Somebody had slashed their necks. I don't know if they were still breathing back then, but I guess not." Rin's eyes widened, horrified. "The man Satan had controlled was burning from blue flames, yet… forcing himself on… Michelle…" The words were coming out with difficulty, and Rin put a hand on his mouth, totally freaked out. This was even worse than what he had imagined. "Michelle was crying and there was blood between her legs… I killed the man without even realizing it… And Satan got into me." Neuhaus buried his face in his hands, he could take no more. "The last thing I heard before I burned her was 'stop'… When Satan left my body, all I had around were three skeletons… The remains of my family, which right then disappeared for good."

Rin snatched his hand away from Neuhaus. He felt like he didn't have the right to touch him. He was Satan's son! Only then he realized at its fullest. Neuhaus looked at him and Rin started trembling. He was scared. He braced himself and backed away, until his back hit the wood behind the pillows. He was unable to stop the trembling. He was Satan's son, the son of the demon that put Neuhaus through the worst torture a human can undergo. He was looking at his teacher with wide, horrified eyes. This was just too horrible, what had happened…

"Rin…" Neuhaus reached a hand towards him, and Rin closed his eyes tightly, anticipating something painful. "Rin… are you afraid of me?" He asked, pained, as he carefully ran his fingers into Rin's silky black hair. Rin slightly nodded. "Why?"

"B-Because… It was Satan's fault…" Rin let out. "It was his fault and I'm here… I'm his son… And I can't change it… And it hurt you so much…" Rin looked up at him. "Will you do something to me?" _I would understand if you would… _

Neuhaus' heart melted. _What have I done? Why did I have to go and do that stupid, disgusting thing to him? _He leaned in and embraced Rin tightly, holding him warmly in his arms. "You're not Satan. It might have taken me long enough to realize, I might have made some vital mistakes in the process, but now I can finally understand that. You're not evil, Rin. You're just a normal kid." He knew that Rin needed those words. The more he was finding out about Satan's evil deeds, the more difficult it was for him to handle them.

"I know…" Rin whispered. "I know who I am. It's not me the point here." The feeling that he was forgetting something crucial intensified as it had never before. Could Neuhaus really have such a drastic change of heart during those past few months since he had tried to kill him? What had changed? In which mistakes was he referring to? He felt so safe in those arms… why? "But I'm thankful for your words." Neuhaus let him go. Maybe this was enough for him… Just being close to Rin like this. He didn't need a sexual relationship… For Rin's good. He thought it was time for him to get up, but then he felt warm fingers entangling themselves into his. Rin held his right hand with both of his, bringing it close to him. "You opened up your heart to me, now I need you to let me open mine."

"It's not necessary; I didn't do it for…"

"Please, listen to me?" Rin looked at him with those stunning blue eyes. "It's not much. It's not even a story." Neuhaus wanted to hug him again, but that would clearly cross the line. He just stayed there and nodded positively. Rin took a deep breath before starting. "I know very well how many people view me. Since I was little, I knew I was different, and it scared me, and that's why I used to get so angry when I would be called a demon. I guess that deep down, I always knew what I was. Since I learned I can't do anything about it, I just accepted it and tried to cope." Rin had his eyes lowered, looking at their hands for as long as he was speaking. "Lately, I have been dreaming some weird things…" He hesitated. "I'm positive that I'm not a bad person. I'm not a bad person because the Old Man, Fujimoto Shirou, made sure I wouldn't become one. He's my father. Satan isn't, he is." Rin looked at Neuhaus straight in the eye. "But I just can't transmit that to most of the people. As soon as they learn I'm Satan's son, they already hate me."

"I know." Neuhaus responded. That exact thing had happened to him to. It had taken him a long time to accept Rin as he was. Unfortunately for both of them, but mostly for Rin.

"At first I thought I didn't care." Rin shrugged. "I had my family and my friends and I could just fight off anyone else. But then… Suddenly… I feel my memories have been toyed with!" He looked up at his teacher desperately. "Before we came here, I had this dream that I couldn't escape from. Every time I'd close my eyes, it would appear… He would appear."

_Danger! _Neuhaus' inner alarm bell was ringing crazily. "He… Who do you mean, Rin?"

"I don't know… A guy." Rin clutched at Neuhaus' hand more tightly. "I couldn't see his face, I couldn't hear properly his voice… But he was doing something terrible to me." Rin could no longer look at Neuhaus. He turned his head around. "He was violating me. For being Satan's son."

_I should go and hang myself right now! _Neuhaus thought. He had a _vague_ idea of what event Rin was referring to, and it caused him the strong desire to go and get ran over by a train.

"And I… I don't think it was just a dream." Rin continued. "It was neither a dream nor a memory. I may never find out what it was but…" Rin looked at Neuhaus and smiled at him warmly. "As soon as you took me under your protection, he disappeared." He placed the back of Neuhaus' hand on his cheek. "I don't see him anymore, as long as I'm with you. Thank you."

Rin was still vulnerable and under the influence of the drink, plus what he had learned about Neuhaus had hurt him, and drove him into acting more sensitively than usual. Neuhaus knew that everything would be back to normal in the morning, but now he felt like it was his turn to throw up. If Rin knew that the guy he was thanking right now was his actual rapist, it would kill him. But Neuhaus knew. He couldn't stand it anymore. He was just mocking and deceiving Rin, he wasn't saving him. "Rin, that man…" He said, before realizing. "That man was…" Rin looked up at him, bewildered. "…Was he in love with you?" He saved it at the last moment!

"In love?" Rin asked, a bit surprised. "No… I don't think so." He narrowed his eyes. "Why would you ask that?"

Neuhaus sighed from relief. He had almost sprouted out the truth! Then he got all serious again: "Because sometimes, passion can take you too far." He knew. Oh he knew so well. "Have you ever been in love, Rin?"

Rin blushed faintly. "I… I don't know." He let Neuhaus' hand, grabbed the nearby pillow and squeezed it in his arms, bringing his knees up. "I mean, Shiemi is cute… and sweet… and nice… And I think it wouldn't be bad if we dated like that, you know…" He was getting all embarrassed. "But 'in' love is just too strong a meaning, so I'm not sure…"

"Then you haven't." Neuhaus got up, concluding. "Love and lust are very powerful feelings. They can drive you insane if you don't handle them right. And sometimes, you just can't handle them at all." He got near the window and looked outside. The neighborhood was quiet and it seemed empty. "You just lose yourself…"

"Was it that way with Michelle?" Rin asked. Neuhaus turned and looked at him, and then he looked outside the window again.

"Michelle was a peaceful love." He had already said everything; he might as well say that too. "Not that there was not passion, but it was a normal attraction, under a usual and orderly society, without any obstacles or taboos. All in all, it was a healthy and smooth relationship." He shook his head. "But my second love was nothing like this."

"Eh? Second love?" Rin let the pillow down. That, he hadn't expected to hear. "You fell in love again, after her?"

"Unfortunately." He had to reply. "It didn't end well."

"Why?"

"Okay, I think it's about time we stopped discussing my sex life. I'm getting you something to eat, your stomach is empty." Neuhaus walked towards the kitchen, but Rin sat up at his knees, trying to approach him.

"Tell me, why did it end?"

Neuhaus stepped in the kitchen, searching for some kind of bread. It seemed like Anya was using the place quite often. "Don't you think you've heard enough?" He bent and looked at Rin from inside the door that connected the kitchen to the bedroom. The room was small, so all of its places were stuck together. One bedroom, one kitchen and one bathroom only. Rin said nothing, but was still looking at him decisively. Damn his curiosity! "Oh well. I ended it because it was one-sided." He finally informed him. "I was the one who went and started it but it wasn't working out, so I ended everything. Happy?"

"You don't sound like you loved that person." Rin's voice was heard, steady.

Neuhaus froze. "Excuse me? What do you mean?"

"Ending everything just because it wasn't working out for you? They _were_ with you, so it couldn't be one-sided. You finished it without even asking, am I right?" Neuhaus didn't answer. He just stood in the kitchen, hearing at Rin's voice, without looking at him. "You seem like you don't care about their feelings at all. You didn't even fight for them."

Neuhaus finally found some toast. He took one, walked into the bedroom where Rin was and shoved it in his mouth to silence him at last. "Just eat." He told him, as Rin was coughing from the sudden attack, still crunched on the toast nonetheless. If it was in Neuhaus' hand, Rin would be permanently gagged! "And allow me to keep some private matters to myself. Okay?"

"Fine, jeez!" Rin mumbled, between the crunching noises. He was hungry, but his stomach still wasn't at its best. He now felt completely comfortable around Neuhaus. So much that he didn't know how it would work when they would get back to the Academy. When you share so much with one person, there are only two ways to go: Regretting it for being an easy target to that person, because you knew you did something wrong, or put yourself at ease, connecting to that person, because you knew you did something right. Rin was currently experiencing the second way, so he fell back on the mattress and got to sleep before even thinking about it. Neuhaus liked him and he was being nice to him. That was all he wanted.

He woke up the next morning, feeling good. The hangover had passed, thanks to his teacher's care, and the young half-demon had regained his usual energy. He looked outside the window. It was still early, but the weather wasn't nice. It was all cloudy, dark, enormous clouds covering every piece of the sky, the wind was blowing and the leaves of the trees outside were dancing with him. Rin thanked God he was inside a warm room. Neuhaus looked at him from the door of the kitchen. "You woke up? Come on, there is breakfast."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." Rin yawned and stretched, and then he sat on the edge of the bed, putting on his shoes. He walked lazily into the kitchen. "What do we have?" It so felt like a morning in a normal family…

"Nothing special. Just toasts and eggs. I passed by Anya's place and she gave me some soup to eat afterwards." He indicated at the casserole on the stove. It had a cover Rin had never seen before. He approached it, very intrigued.

"Nice tool." He commented, looking at it closely. "Does it open like this…?" He grabbed it and tried to push it open.

"No, wai-" But of course, who would wait. Rin pushed at the buttons wrongly, the casserole was filled to the top, and when the cover sank in violently, it sprouted some of the soup onto Rin's face, who had bent too close to see it. Thank God it wasn't hot, but Rin yelped in surprise nonetheless, clutching his eyes tightly shut and falling on the ground at his knees instinctively. "You just can't listen to me ever, can you?" Neuhaus came and kneeled next to him, as Rin was coughing. He took a piece of cloth out of his pocket. "What a waste." And he wiped the liquid from Rin's face with it.

Rin froze. This was all too familiar. And not pleasantly familiar. He looked at Neuhaus with wide eyes. _When he finishes cleaning me, he'll cup my cheek with his hand. _He unconsciously thought. Much to his terror, that exactly happened. Neuhaus also ran his thumb at Rin's cheek, being a bit affectionate. _And that's because before we… _He remembered the feeling of his hair being tugged violently. In his mouth… There was something in his mouth… Big, hard… He had to swallow the liquid… And sometime before that, the scorching pain in his lower body…

Neuhaus saw Rin's face being completely distorted by fear, one fragment of second before Rin screamed in horror and jerked away from him. He backed off so quickly and violently, that his back hit roughly the cabinets. Rin quickly got up, with trembling knees that could barely support him, opened the drawer and grabbed a knife from inside. Before Neuhaus could ask what was going on, his worst fear came true. "IT WAS _YOU_!" Rin screamed on top of his lungs. "YOU!" Rin pointed the knife at him, trying to protect himself. "_You_ are the man in my dreams… No, in my memories!"

_Play dumb, play dumb, play…_ "Rin, you are hallucinating…" What could have possibly made him remember? What the fuck happened? Just so suddenly, from one moment to another… He got up and tried to approach the boy, but Rin slashed the air with the knife, creating a barrier between them. He stopped, raising his hands.

"Don't shit with me! We both know very well! …That you… you…" Rin's eyes watered up, and the hands holding the knife were shaking like crazy. "W-Why?" His voice was trembling, his heart was crumbling, he had reached his breaking point. "Why? What did I do to you? I thought… I thought you…" He sobbed. The betrayal was too heavy for him to control at all. "I'm such an idiot!" An idiot, an idiot, a _fucking_ _idiot_ who dared to believe that he could be liked by someone who held a grudge against Satan! It didn't matter what he did or how much he tried, he would always be treated like 'Satan's son'! Like an abomination…

Neuhaus couldn't bear to see Rin like this. He had to do something, calm him down, console him. "Rin! Please listen to me…!" He stepped towards him, but Rin slashed the air once again.

"DON'T COME NEAR ME!" This man had to stay away from him at all costs! "You raped me! What do you want? Another round?" He gritted his teeth and glared. "Another round would be great, wouldn't it?" _He's going to do it again! He'll push me on the bed and… Nobody will come as he'll… _"And you dared acting like you liked me…How? With what kind of nerve?"

Neuhaus wanted to cry at what Rin was saying, but he didn't have that luxury. Rin had remembered. He was the one who hurt the most at the moment. Why? Why did he have to remember now? Things were going so well between them… "Rin… I'm sorry… I…" And it seemed like he remembered only the first times, only the bad moments. He still didn't have a clue from when he caught him with the gun in hand, or about Yukio's reaction… Not that those were good moments. Had Yukio also remembered now?

"You're _sorry_?" This was insane; Rin's mind had drawn a blank. "Like this is going to get me back my life! You're _sorry_? I begged you! I pleaded you! I cried to you! Did you listen? How the fuck can you understand how it felt, when I was all tied up and the only thing I could do was beg you, beg you from the bottom of my heart to show me some mercy, but you would never… never…"

"Rin please stop…" _No more… please no more! My inexcusable sins… Rin forgive me… _

"I was coming to you." Rin clutched the knife tightly in his hands. "Every night, at _fucking_ nine! All I wanted was to run away! When you would grab me, I just wanted to ran far away, disappear, and when you would lie on top of me and fuck me, I just wanted to die!" Rin wanted to turn the knife around and stab himself so badly… "You didn't do it just once! You did it repeatedly; you knew very well how much it hurt me!" _And that was the_ _reason why you were doing it!_ "Was it _fun_?" He spat. "Was I _good_? How did I taste?"

"SHUT UP!" Rin would always drive him crazy. Mephisto was right; it was barely a choice. He grabbed a chair that stood in his way and tossed it violently away, approaching Rin furiously. He lost it, but he wasn't the only one. Rin knew very well how to fight; he had experienced a lot of street-fighting, and now he felt more threatened than any time before. When Neuhaus tried to grab him he bent, avoiding him, and then hit him by using his head, right on the stomach. Neuhaus coughed and stepped behind at the surprise attack, and Rin found the chance to hit him on the ribs, with the helve of the knife. Neuhaus clutched at his left side, where he had taken the hit, and he stepped further behind, reaching the bedroom. Rin lashed at him and shoved him onto the bed, in which he fell on his back. Rin wasted no time straddling him and stepping with his knees over both of his hands, rendering him motionless. He grabbed his hair and brought the knife right on his neck. Neuhaus stopped fighting.

Rin stayed for a while like this, catching his breath. "How does it feel to bottom, sensei?" He mocked him, tugging at his hair even more violently, so that his head would move backwards and his neck would be even more defenseless against the cold metal of the knife.

"Stupid kid… If I die now, you're done too." Neuhaus told him, looking at him in the eyes. "You won't be able to escape from them alone…" He wasn't afraid for his life. He had long before declared that his life was Rin's, he could do whatever he wanted with it. But Rin couldn't survive alone out there! He was still a minor, and if he committed murder, things wouldn't be fixable for him.

"I'll take my chances!" Rin lifted the knife up, still grabbing Neuhaus' hair, so that he couldn't turn his head around, and pointed it right towards his face. "Don't worry. I know how to make ends meet." He gritted his teeth. "Any last wishes?"

_I hope you know what you're doing._ "No." Neuhaus closed his eyes and relaxed under Rin. Last time, it was Rin who had saved him, but if he felt now that he wanted to kill him, he was okay with that. But if Rin remembered further… If he remembered that he had loved him too, and that he had prevented him from committing suicide, only to kill him with his own hands later… "But shouldn't you wait to remember everything first?"

"The fuck if I want to remember any more than this!" Rin spat at him. He knew he was still missing pieces, but his anger had taken over. Nevertheless, at those words, he looked at his teacher, bewildered. "So you're okay with dying this way?"

"Of course." Neuhaus opened his eyes to look at Rin. Even if it was the last thing he'd do, Rin had to know. "I love you."

**A/N: I know you all probably hate me right now, but it's not exactly a cliffhanger, okay? This chapter was too long again to fit in properly everything I wanted… I'll probably come up with an update next weekend, until then sayonara and review me! **


	16. Fate's Revenge

**A/N: Next update and I have something important to say: The next chapter is going to be the last. No, I'm not kidding. We're nearing the end. I really have fun writing this fic, but I can't drag it further because it'll lose the touch. I'll leave the credits for the final chapter, so now just enjoy and review! ;) **

_I love you… _

Rin almost chuckled in awkwardness. "Liar." He whispered. The he started shaking his head slowly, left and right, indicating that he didn't believe a word. "You're such a liar." They kept staring into each other's eyes and Rin could feel losing himself into his teacher's one. It might have been just one eye, with a light azure hue, but to Rin it seemed magnetizing. They way Neuhaus was looking at him, deeply, deadly serious, not even the least bit afraid, it immobilized Rin, making him unable to lower the knife and stab him. Even though it had to be a lie… Even though Rin was sure that as soon as he'd let his guard down, he would get raped mercilessly. But… Would it be so bad? His body had started reacting weirdly, feeling the warmth of the man under him. Hidden desires, deeply buried feelings were surfacing, and they were not on par with his memories, thing that confused Rin immensely. Like the feeling of that man on top of him, holding him…

Rin squeezed his eyes shut for a second, trying to block everything out. "Rin…" He heard the other man saying. Neuhaus' voice was gentler, calmer. He opened his eyes at the call of his name. "Rin, please. I don't care about what happens to me, but don't do something you'll regret. Don't become a murderer." Neuhaus turned his head at the other side, looking away from Rin. "If you remember everything, after all this chasing ends, and you still wish for me to die, I'll die by myself. So please, now…"

"Do you seriously expect me to buy all these crap?" Rin answered harshly. "Do you expect me to believe that my rapist cares if I become a murderer or not, but not for his own life?" He just couldn't grasp what he was hearing, or the reason behind those words.

"I love you." Neuhaus repeated, leaving Rin gaping a bit. "I'm so much in love with you it hurts me." Rin's eyes widened. "But you would never accept someone like me, so… I…" Neuhaus swallowed hard. "See Rin, I knew what I was talking about when I said that passion can take you too far-"

"Haven't you screwed enough with me?" Rin cut him off and Neuhaus stopped talking. He couldn't get through Rin anymore. He deserved what was coming for him, but still… He felt Rin raising his body over him, as he had bent previously to talk to him. "But it is true that you don't care about your life. Judging by that time we fought before, you have no problem to harm yourself whatsoever." Rin smirked bitterly. "Well then…" He changed the way he was holding the knife, from vertically to horizontally, and brought it near his teacher's face. "Maybe you care about _this_." He pressed the metal near Neuhaus' eye.

The older man froze, until he realized what was going on. Rin was going to… He was going to pluck his eye out! "What are you doing? Stop it!" Rin was satisfied to trace a hint of fear in his voice. Neuhaus was fine by dying, because everything would stop, his conscious would disappear, and he wouldn't know anything anymore. But living in a world he could no longer see Rin… Maybe hearing his voice, but being no longer able to see his face, his clear white skin and his beautiful blue eyes… The delicious black hair, the soft pink lips… "Stop it Rin!" He started writhing, trying to free himself.

"Don't move!" Rin pressed the knife harder onto Neuhaus' skin, making some blood trickle right under his eye. "Do you want it to pierce your brain?" Neuhaus started kicking but it didn't have any effect, his hands were trapped, pressured down by Rin knees, and the boy was still holding a fistful of his hair, pinning his head in place.

"No, Rin, don't do this!" _I want to see you! It doesn't matter if we're not together; I still want to be able to see you! _

Rin chuckled. "Why? Like father like son. The father took your first eye, it's time for the son to finish the job." Neuhaus looked at him fearfully and incredulously. Rin was wearing such a mocking, bitter expression… "I'm Satan's spawn, am I not? Remember?" Neuhaus clenched his eye shut. "Look at me!" Rin yelled at him painfully. "Look at me when I'm doing this to you! Remember? Of course you remember! Look at me because you're not going to see me ever again!" Everything about this hurt both so much…

Gradually, Neuhaus stopped fighting. He finally opened his eye, looking at Rin, half-lidded. He would never forget… Even if his vision would disappear, even if he'd lose the sense of sight, he'd never forget Rin. Maybe it was an appropriate punishment. That had to be it, otherwise it wouldn't hurt so much. He tried burning the impression of Rin's face deep into his mind. He seemed so hurt, so confused, so sad at that moment. Rin was beautiful when he was smiling. He had a perfect smile. "Okay. But please…" Neuhaus' voice was trembling. "Please… Do me one favor. Only one." Rin waited. "Smile."

"What?" Rin managed to let out, shocked. "Are you crazy? Of course I can't smile now!" He felt more like crying, especially at that plead. Why did he have to make it so fucking difficult? It was clear, what had to be done… It was so clear! The man who had raped him deserved pain! And yet…

"Please Rin, I want to remember you smiling. I need to know that you can be happy!" Neuhaus tried to persuade him. Even if it was a sad smile, he had to see it. He needed it! He had to know that even if he had hurt Rin so much, Rin could still get out in the world, smiling and enjoying his life the best he could.

Rin didn't answer for a while, he was just looking at him, trying to figure out the catch. But it wasn't long before he realized that it didn't matter if there was a catch or not. He might have no memories, but he still had a heart. "I see." He stopped tensing, as he took the decision, his heartbeat growing more normal. He lowered his head, his hair covering his eyes, and took the knife away from Neuhaus' face. He threw it aside, on the floor. "Do what you want with me."

Neuhaus was all numb. He didn't understand. He slowly sat up, as Rin took his knees away from his hands, but still sitting over his lap. He wasn't smiling. He was looking down, defeated and abdicated, having given up. With both of his trembling hands, Neuhaus cupped Rin's face. "Oh my God… My God…" Rin still wouldn't look up to him, but that didn't matter. He leaned in and hugged him tightly, wrapping his left hand around Rin's back and using the right one to hold his head from the back of his neck, pressing it against his chest. "Rin… I was scared…" He was still scared that Rin would just suddenly disappear, that he'd lose him. "I thought I would never see you again…" He was so grateful that he still had that one eye, he just had to be reminded of it. He kissed Rin's cheek feverishly. The most treasured person in the whole world for him… He continued kissing him on the other cheek, the forehead, everywhere on his face, avoiding his lips. Rin had gone limp in his hands, he didn't react at all. Neuhaus grabbed him by the waist and slowly turned him around, having him lie on his back on the mattress. Now it was like it used to be…

He settled himself above him, looking at his face. Rin's eyes were empty, looking at the void, his face turned to the side. Neuhaus knew that he was confused and scared, and that he also didn't care anymore. He tenderly ran his fingers onto the smooth skin of his cheek, then his neck. He leaned in and kissed him, softly this time, on the forehead again. "You don't have to do that." He heard Rin saying. He pulled away a bit, to look at him. Rin had just spoken, no changes of expression. "You don't have to pretend that you like me. It hurts both of us, so stop." _Just abuse me… I'm turning all weird so just abuse me… _

"I'm not pretending." Neuhaus told him steadily. "Look at me, Rin!" He grabbed Rin's chin and made his head turn so that they could face each other. Rin's eyes livened up a bit. "Would I really bother to do this, if I was pretending? I meant every word!" He had to make Rin believe him. His expression softened. "Rin, I was the one who stole your memories. I thought you'd be better off without them. Without having the disgusting thought in your brain of a much older man forcing himself on you… Because I-"

"I never thought…" Rin interrupted him. "I never thought it was disgusting." He finally looked back at him with his own will. It was true. It might have been dirty and scary, but not disgusting. "Not once. Just…" He took a deep breath. "Very, very painful." He looked away. "You can do it. I'm used to it. I don't know your motives, but…"

"Rin, do you seriously not feel a thing about me?" Neuhaus saw the boy's cheeks redden and his expression growing more confused. "Don't you remember anything of what we felt? Of what we did?" Rin didn't know what to answer, he could feel his body reacting to those words, he knew what he wanted to do, he just knew that it was wrong and that he had to resist. "Then I'll remind you." The deal with Mephisto had already broken anyway. He grabbed Rin's chin again, then leaned in and kissed him fully in mouth.

Rin's eyes widened immensely at the feeling. He knew it… it was so familiar, yes… A tongue in his mouth, rubbing against his, and exploring deeply… A tongue that knew how to make his senses tingle and turn him on. It was amazing, breathtaking, making him crave for more. Rin could feel his logic abandoning him. This man felt unbelievably good against him. Was he a masochist? Did he suffer from Stockholm syndrome? He had to be sick, deranged. Otherwise, why would he find it so exciting being kissed by a man who caused him so much pain? He felt Neuhaus' hands slipping under his blue t-shirt, rubbing against his torso. He moaned in his mouth. Neuhaus stopped the kiss and looked at Rin's face, as he ran his fingers on Rin's nipple, from inside his shirt, pinching him lightly. "Ah!" Rin let out a small yelp, bringing his hands instinctively over Neuhaus', over his shirt. His body was trembling, and it wasn't a bad feeling, he couldn't say anything further.

"Whenever this gets too much for you, I'm stopping." Neuhaus told him. "Are you okay?" He had to be sure that what they were about to do would just complete Rin's memories and not traumatize him further.

Rin looked at him with clouded eyes. He had already lost his mind from the lust and the heat. "I'm fine." He said. His brain was telling him that this was crazy and wrong and he had to stop, but his body couldn't but yearn to be loved again. "Sensei…" He told him. Someone must have cursed him, bewitched him, what he was feeling wasn't normal, what he was about to say… "Make me feel nice." Oh shit he said it! He said it…

Neuhaus smiled a bit. "I get it. Of course." He teased the nipple once more and Rin fell behind, arching his back, trembling. Neuhaus leaned in to whisper into his ear: "But this is not just fucking Rin, so I guess I'll just have to show you what it really is." He licked Rin's ear after that.

"…Revenge?" Rin took a hurtful guess. "Is that it?"

"I love you." Neuhaus just answered. These seemed to be always the key words. Rin blushed even more, if that was possible. What was he doing… What was he doing? Neuhaus kissed Rin on the neck for some moments and then he pulled Rin's shirt over his head, taking it off of him. As Rin's skin was revealed in front of him, he started kissing lightly every area he could reach. He deepened his kisses only on the nipples, making Rin writhe under him, and then, as he reached lower, inside the navel. Rin surely thought that he was going crazy, but nothing mattered anymore.

Neuhaus reached up once again, putting his hands on the hem of Rin's pants. "Are you ready? Is everything okay?" He asked him. Rin just weakly nodded. Then he felt the fabric sliding away from his skin, along with his boxers. As his teacher disposed of all garments on Rin's body, the boy lied there, waiting, feeling how it was to be naked under someone else. It was… both scary and exciting. Somewhere inside, he knew that Neuhaus wouldn't take off his own clothes.

"I feel like a prostitute…" He said, without thinking it much through. Neuhaus halted. Rin shook his head. "It doesn't matter…"

"No, it matters." Neuhaus reached up at him, so that their faces were close again. "Is it because I'm not taking my clothes off?" He knew how Rin's mind was working. The reason he chose not to get undressed was because he wanted Rin to remember. Each time they did it he had never taken his clothes off, so he thought Rin would remember the feeling better this way.

Rin hesitated fir a bit. "More or less." He finally said. He looked at Neuhaus suspiciously. "Are you really not planning to hurt me?" Could that even be possible?

"Inevitably, it's going to hurt a bit at the start, but…" Neuhaus started explaining, but Rin placed a hand on his mouth, silencing him.

"I don't mean physically." He placed a hand over his own heart. "I mean here." Neuhaus' eye widened. "You've hurt me already enough here. Deceiving me, deleting my memory, betraying me. So no more." He swallowed hard. "If you're planning for more, if you still hate me, just kill me now. There's no reason for you to waste your time doing something that stupid. You're human. If you are reluctant to show mercy in any other way, if you're planning to break me thoroughly, then please, don't destroy my soul this way. I've hurt enough, hasn't that satisfied you yet?" Rin had to say all these. "Please! You've hurt me enough, I can't take anymore! Show me some mercy, just a little! Please…"

"Rin…" Neuhaus leaned and placed a soft kiss on Rin's lips. "You have asked me to trust you. Now I'm asking you to trust me." He covered Rin's body with his, embracing him, letting his head lie next to the boy's. "I told you about my second love. You know it's you." Rin nodded meekly. "You said I didn't consider that person's feelings. It's wrong Rin. All I was thinking about was how important your feelings were, I didn't care about mine. I deleted your memory so you wouldn't hurt anymore, it didn't matter in how much pain I would be if you didn't remember me. But we didn't have only awful moments together. Sure we gained some precious memories in this trip, and I'm grateful for that," Rin smiled at that comment. Yes, so far it had been fun… Very fun. "but we have more than that. I can't let you remember only the pain. Now that it came to this, I have to open your eyes completely. It's only fair." He lifted his head to look at Rin again. "So trust me."

Rin relaxed under him. "Okay." He smiled at him again, sweetly. "Remind me." He cupped Neuhaus' cheek with his left hand.

Neuhaus leaned in and kissed him in response. Rin let him deepen the kiss, even kissed back a little, hesitantly. Fragments of memories of them started flowing. Rin remembered that they were lying on the ground, dust and debris everywhere around them. His veins were filled with the adrenaline only battle could have caused. They had kissed there… was that the first time? Probably… He moaned, as the heat that had dissolved during his previous moments of fear, started building up again. Neuhaus' body was covering all of his, and that was helping. Rin opened his legs, making it easier for him to adjust on top of him. Slowly, Neuhaus reached his hand down and touched his member.

"Ah!" Rin let out, and quickly covered his mouth. Neuhaus used his other hand to remove it, and then kiss him again, as he worked on the boy's member. "Don't… don't…"

"But it feels good, doesn't it?" Neuhaus smirked, feeling the piece of flesh growing hard in his hand. "Doesn't it?" He whispered in Rin's ear.

"That's why…" But Rin's face was contradicting his words. He was all flushed, fazed, confused, pleasured. "It's… embarrassing…"

Neuhaus laughed a bit. "No it's not." He carefully turned Rin around, so that his back was now facing him, but without letting his hand go. "It's just nice." His hand started rubbing Rin's member more harshly and quickly, making Rin writhe and let out small screams full of delight. "Tell me Rin. What do you feel?" He told him, bending to have his face next to the boy's, kissing him on the cheek. Then he proceeded at kissing him on his back, wherever he could reach, filling his back with his lips.

"Shut up!" Rin tried to bite back a response, but that hand moving down there was a great distraction. "T-Take it away!" He stuttered. "Take it away, Neuhaus!" He didn't even know what he was saying anymore. Jeez, what was he even trying to do here, had he forgotten? There were going to have sex, saying something like this didn't kind of defeat the point?

"My name." Rin looked behind at those words, which had been uttered between the continuing kisses, to see his teacher's face. "What's my name Rin? Say it." He ordered, stopping to look back at him.

"I-Igor…" Rin replied, with his eyes still on him, feeling his heart beating even faster. Soon he could no longer take it; he buried his face in the pillow. "Igor, Igor…" Neuhaus gritted his teeth, as he heard the words leaving Rin's lips. His own member hardened even more simultaneously. The first time Rin had said his first name was when… No, that wasn't a happy memory, he couldn't recall it now. He fastened the pace of his hand, relishing Rin's voice as the boy started calling it out again and again and again, as his orgasm was building up, to erupt some moments later. Rin cried out in pleasure, and the white liquid filled Neuhaus' hand. He took it away, marveling it, as Rin let himself relax onto the sheets after coming, taking some deep breaths.

"Don't relax quite yet. We've more." He told him and shoved his coated with semen index finger into Rin's rectum. Rin yelped in surprise and slight pain. The feeling was uncomfortable, not so strange, he guessed, not anymore. It worked its way into him, making him feel unsure about his own body. He lied there, face down, his body welcoming the intruder, as a second finger slipped in. Rin bit his lower lip in order not to scream out as they started moving inside of him, trying to open his up for something much bigger to fit in. It hurt. It was embarrassing. But above all… He felt them brushing over a certain spot, and it just felt _unbelievably good! _

Rin trembled. _Oh my God… Oh my God! _He screeched inwardly, as the fingers continued moving onto it. "Ah… Sensei…" He let out, as sensually as he could. He looked up. "I can call you sen-sei, right?" He smirked and licked his lips. "Sensei… sensei… sen-sei…"

"I hate myself at how sexy this sounds to me." Neuhaus admitted reluctantly. "Rin stop it because I'll rape you!" _Wrong choice of words, _he thought afterwards, but the boy thankfully didn't freeze under him as he expected.

Rin chuckled instead. He turned around, trying not to get the fingers out of him, so that they could properly face each other, in the eyes. "Sensei…" He purred, wrapping his arms around the back of Neuhaus' neck. "Teach me sensei… Teach me how to give a good fuck." He whispered lustfully into the older man's ear. Okay, what the hell was he doing? Nah, he just liked messing with Neuhaus that was all. He liked seeing him going to the extremes, he liked dragging him out of control. And he knew exactly what words he should use for that. "Rape me, sensei…" He licked slightly Neuhaus' left cheek.

"Oh, let it all go to fucking hell!" And indeed. Neuhaus lost control. He grabbed Rin's hands and pinned them down over his head with one hand. He used the other to undo his own trousers and reveal his throbbing erection. Rin just let himself get swept away, according to the passion. He didn't resist at all when Neuhaus opened his legs further, to make the access easier, or when he felt the hard and hot flesh of his member pressing against his entrance. "I'm going in." He said, before he pushed himself wholly into Rin's body with one single thrust.

Rin opened his mouth but no voice would come out. He had been prepared, but this was too much. "Too big… too big…" He let out, shocked and pained. It wasn't like those times when they had plenty of lubricant… Wait. Was there such a time? Yes… Yes there was… He remembered… One on a bed, another on the floor… Screw it, now it wasn't! "It hurts!" He yelled desperately. "Get out!"

"Hey, calm down. Let your muscles relax." Neuhaus advised him. "It'll stop hurting soon." They were clutching him also unbelievably tightly, exciting him so much it hurt him too. But he couldn't move until Rin was used to it. Oh it felt so long… So long since they had done this consensually, together. It was so amazing that Neuhaus remained in, without moving, savoring the feeling. "You're unbelievable… So hot…" _Your body against mine… Heaven… Is this truly real…? _

Rin soon relaxed a bit, and those words helped him a lot. "I'm… I'm good… Go on." He was partly lying, but that needed to be done. He reached up and kissed Neuhaus on the mouth, fully, encouraging him to continue. Neuhaus started moving, without breaking the kiss. Rin soon broke it, with tears roaming down his cheeks. "N-No… Still it hurts!" Neuhaus tried to hush him, and he kissed him on the cheek, as he was moving in and out in a slow pace. "Stop it… don't move!" He placed a hand onto Neuhaus' chest, holding him away and stopping him. It reminded him of when… that time…

"It's okay." Neuhaus stopped as he was told. _Damn it, I went in too soon. I should have prepared him more. _He thought, but he was only human and it was unbelievable – and he thought, kind of pathetic – how soon he'd lose it, influenced by a mere word coming from Rin. _Rape me, sensei… You know that's what you want to do. More than anything. _The voice of his subconscious merged with Rin's_. _Neuhaus closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to control himself and stop him from pumping into Rin now that he was in so much pain. The nerve of that kid! Didn't he understand the concept of risk at all? He was going crazy, he'd have either to start moving or get out. And he was definitely _not _willing to do the second at all. "I love you Rin…" He kissed him on the neck softly. "Let me show it to you…"

Rin hissed when the man above him started moving again. It was scary. He whimpered from pain and fear. He had told him to stop, why didn't he listen? Cold shivers ran down his spine. He tried to relax as he was instructed, but there were too many thoughts and worries running through his mind to succeed. What if this was just a fuck… just a fuck… That hurt more than the pain in his lower area.

"Rin." Neuhaus cupped Rin's face with both of his hands, as he had done before. This time he didn't say 'I love you', but the look at his eyes was plenty enough to show it. "I'm here. I'm feeling you. Trust me." Rin wanted so badly to hug him, hide himself in his arms, never having to leave him. Now, he truly relaxed. Neuhaus lifted him up from the hips and thrust even more deeply inside of him. Rin let out a small scream, but at the second thrust he felt _it. _He tried to catch his breath, but the next thrust hit right at that spot again. Rin clutched desperately at Neuhaus' gray shirt, letting out constant cries of pleasure as his teacher picked up the pace. Neuhaus fell on Rin, wrapping his arms around his torso, as he breathed into the crook of the boy's neck, not believing what he was experiencing. _God has got to be toying with us, _he thought, but now there was no time to doubt what he had been given. He passed one hand under Rin's left knee, lifting the leg further up the air and making the position more comfortable.

Rin cried out even more loudly as the thrusts continued and his pleasure built up. The thought that a dick inside of him could make him feel this good… No, that was not it. It wouldn't feel the least bit good if there was someone else doing it. It felt like this because of that particular man, that man who had entranced him, with his loyalty, his courage, maybe even his cruelty. _I don't want to lose you… _He desperately thought, as he remembered that gun… the guilt… Yukio… _No, no… I don't want to lose you!_ "Igor…" He let out, running a hand through his teacher's black hair. "Igor…" He continued repeating it, as he felt the other man's member growing even bigger inside of him, if that was possible, and he sped up. It was hitting at his prostate repeatedly, Rin was feeling such delight that he didn't know if he wanted it in or out. He could take no more…

Hearing Rin calling out his first name was the best aphrodisiac ever for Neuhaus. Sharing this with him was both a blessing and a curse, he knew, but he couldn't help being in love. He had long before realized that. He continued shoving himself into Rin, embracing him, smelling him, always, always as white roses, even then, as he felt himself nearing climax. He sped up even more, making Rin cry out even louder. Rin came first, crying out his name, and seconds later Neuhaus followed him, attaching himself strongly with the boy as he had his orgasm, releasing his seed inside of him. Amazing was too light a word for it. He remained inside of Rin, lying on top of him, breathing heavily, and thinking that there was nothing to ask from life anymore. Just this was enough…

It passed a while until they both caught their breaths. Rin ran his fingers through Neuhaus' hair once more. Now he remembered everything, and Neuhaus didn't have to ask him if he did or not. _Stupid teacher… Why? I had told you that I loved you…_ He pondered sadly. Though he could understand… _Why did you have to love me so much? _

Neuhaus got up a bit pulled out of Rin. He was on his knees, looking at Rin under him. They didn't have to talk; they just knew what words were left unsaid. Neuhaus rolled at the side, and laid face down, his hand dropped over Rin's waist, holding him affectionately but still giving him his space to be comfortable. He drifted into deep sleep moments afterwards. He hadn't slept that peacefully for weeks…

Rin remained as he was, looking at his face. Neuhaus was a handsome man, even with being 38 years old, and though he usually seemed out of his reach and far away, at that time he looked so approachable… Rin placed the back of his hand on his cheek, under the eye-patch. He was glad that he was sleeping pleased… Rin also felt like he could stay like this forever.

But he couldn't. He stayed for another fifteen minutes, trying to get enough of seeing Neuhaus' face, and then he got up, gathering up his clothes and stepping in the bathroom. After he took a quick shower, dried himself up and got dressed, he peeked into the bedroom. Neuhaus was still sleeping as he had left him. It didn't seem like he would wake up soon. But because he knew him, he was sure that he'd have put some form of alarm at the front door. Rin knew that what he was about to do was risky, but it had to be done. He stepped in the bathroom again and spotted the window. It wasn't far from the ground. Rin turned back at the bedroom, put on his shoes, shot a final glance at Neuhaus' form, and then he walked in the bathroom again and he stepped on the baseboard of the window, jumping outside.

As his feet touched the ground, the fresh air filled his lungs. He missed the sense of freedom. He ran away, as quickly as he could. He knew that it was dangerous. But he doubted that their persecutors, even if they existed that was, could have followed them this far. He just needed to be away, outside. He needed to think by himself what he was doing, without anyone's influence clouding his mind. He needed to think… The weather was cold and blowing, but it was refreshing in its own way. Rin had seen a church when they had first come in town. He could still see it from where he was. He ran towards it.

_If I confess… I wonder of God can forgive this. _

Back in the pension, Neuhaus was still sleeping, clueless of Rin's whereabouts.

Or of the danger that surrounded them.


	17. Our Own Crimson Vow

**A/N: Wow, first time it takes me so long to update! And it's the final chapter too! I want to thank everyone who reviewed and stood by my side all through this! This is by far my absolutely favorite yaoi pairing in Blue Exorcist, and I hope I'll see soon other stories popping up, images or doujinshis! I hope you enjoy the end! I'm going to do my best! This is according to the anime's ending. For those who haven't seen the last episodes, and/or follow only the manga, it's necessary to know that Michelle was resurrected for a short amount of time by a spider demon and Rin with Yukio beat the Pope and closed the Gehenna Gate, preventing Satan from stepping into Assiah. Credits are in the end.**

Rin continued running with the wind blowing against his face. He had no idea where he was going, if he should turn left or right at the next crossroad, but such pointless things didn't matter anymore. He felt so absolutely free, shaking away all the small worries. The people around him didn't matter, the building and the roads around didn't matter either; there was nothing aside him and the wind. In the back of his mind, he always had the image of Zielonka's Cathedral, standing tall over every other building. Before he realized, he found himself inside the courtyard of that church. He stood there for some moments, looking the impressive, Roman Catholic Temple. It was all white and it seemed like a tower architectonically, only that it was of course much smaller. He thought that it would look even more beautiful when it was snowing. Rin didn't dare to step inside, he just chose to sit down and the stairs in front of the entrance. He always liked that spot…

As he was sitting down, he hissed a bit in pain. No demonic powers meant no regenerative powers, and at that time he realized fully how much his lower body was hurting. It hurt when he got up from the bed, it hurt when running, but sitting on the cold white marble hurt more. His cheeks burned from shame, as he reminisced what exactly had happened between him and his teacher. Rin closed his eyes and let himself get swept away from the music the leaves of the trees were creating combined with the wind, breathing hungrily the fresh air. He needed to calm down. He needed to think reasonably.

So he was sleeping with his teacher. A guy that loved him unconditionally and uncontrollably, ready to sacrifice everything for him, ready to undergo any kind of torture or trial for him. Rin loved to be with him, talk with him, tease him, hug him and much more. In this world, wasn't that what everybody is truly looking for? Rin should be happy that he found it, in whatever form it might have appeared to him. But still… Guilt was eating him up from the inside, not allowing him to rejoice over this. It wasn't guilt that originated from him; Rin was content, he had found what he desired. It was guilt that had to do with facing other people. How could he possibly tell Yukio about this? When he found out, he shot Neuhaus! How could he even look his friends in the eyes? What would they say? That it was to be expected from Satan's son? And above all… Above everything…

If his father was looking at him from heaven, what would he have to say? If Fujimoto Shirou knew about this… How would he react?

Rin wasn't the perfect son. He knew that very well. He used to give Shirou a lot of grief, back from when he was only a mere 5-year-old brat. From then till recently, he was always in trouble, always beating someone up or getting beaten, picking up fights, never caring about studies, never having any friends, always rejected and living in the edge. He even remembered that one time he punched his dad and sent him to the hospital. And still, during that time, Shirou was smiling at him. He never stopped smiling at him. Not even when Rin would bring awful grades, when the teachers would yell at both of them, when he would get home all beaten up, or when he got fired within a day from his first job… He felt like he was disappointing him so many times, and still, Shirou was putting him at ease. But now… this…

Rin had wondered many times, what lied beyond death. If there was a second life, if heaven and hell existed, where Shirou was, was he still somewhere out there, or where would he, himself go, after he died. Probably in hell? For he was Satan's son and that was enough by definition? Rin didn't need a God who would decide like this… But Shirou… What would he say if he was still alive? Yukio had said that too… Rin's wish to live by abiding Shirou's rules and moral code hadn't changed one bit and it was never going to. If Shirou didn't approve, would he break it off with Neuhaus? It was crystal clear that he wouldn't approve! So should he just… Neuhaus would get hurt, but he would understand. It was Rin who suggested that they should be together in the first place… Was he just trying to comfort Neuhaus back then? Prevent him from committing suicide? Rin just felt that he could give everything up, as long as Neuhaus wasn't hurting. That's why he took the Crimson Vow.

So what was there to think about? From the very start, Rin wanted to cure Neuhaus' pain. Surrender his entire being to him, to that tall, scary dark man. Yes, at first he had been hurt deeply, but even if Neuhaus owned him, in the end he chose to let him go and delete his memories for his own good, no matter the pain that meant for him. If you really love someone, you have to let them go… Didn't that simply prove how much Neuhaus loved him? Or how much Rin loved Neuhaus? So again, what was there to think about?

_Dad… I don't think I should let go. _Rin thought and looked up at the cloudy sky, hoping the words from his heart were reaching Shirou. _I feel that this is where I belong. _

Where he belonged… Rin looked around, realizing where he was. This was Poland, Zielonka. Neuhaus' homeland. Rin didn't fit in there. That was the first time he was seeing it. He didn't know how to talk to the people there, what were their beliefs, their attitudes, their morals. He didn't know the streets, he didn't know the parks, he didn't know anything at all. Even the air smelled different. Rin stood out like a fly swimming in a bottle of milk. How did he know that he belonged in Neuhaus' world? The cemetery where Michelle, Rafael and Isabella were buried couldn't be far. Rin would never dare to step in front of their graves. He was too ashamed. For no matter what he was thinking, some facts that couldn't change would always remain.

Neuhaus was 23 years older than him. And more importantly: he was a guy. And that would never be something Rin could be proud of to other people.

As he kept thinking and swinging back and forth, Neuhaus was still sleeping inside the pension's room. Inside his sleep, he reached his arm unconsciously to hug Rin from the waist, as he was used to doing recently. He found nothing, and that simultaneously woke him up. When he opened his eye, he didn't know what made him do so though. This time he groped around the sheets, searching for Rin, but again had no results. He opened his eye widely, as his heart started pumping more quickly. _Nah… No way._ He reminded himself that this had happened again, and Rin was just in the kitchen. "Rin?" He said, waiting for an answer. "Rin?" He repeated, louder this time, raising up from the mattress. He stayed there, hearing the silence. There was no sound, no tapping of footsteps, nothing that indicated that there was another person in the room. "Rin!" Neuhaus shot up, crashed the door of the kitchen open, then the one of the bathroom. Nothing. He looked around frantically, then realized that the window of the bathroom was open. "SHIT!" He yelled, swearing, put on his shoes, grabbed his trench coat and shot out in a flash. That fucking brat had left! He had left!

Neuhaus was too scared for Rin's safety to get really mad at him or hurt. Well, not that he wasn't thinking about it… Just when he thought everything was settled, Rin had escaped, he had run away. Maybe he had just slept with him so he could do exactly that. It didn't matter, it didn't matter, _just please be safe…_ He gulped. _Please be safe and deceive me, hurt me, lie to me all you want. Just be safe! _Neuhaus had noticed that there were people spying on them. It would soon end being just spying. And now, of all times! Rin had to drive him crazy again _now_! Stupid kid! Stupid kid!

He shot inside Anya's tavern. She was alone, as it was still noon and it was closed, but it would soon open, wiping the floor. "Did Rin come by here?" He shouted, making her jump, drop the mop and clutch her hands above her chest.

"Hello to you too, damn you! What the heck, Igor? You scared me!" She turned and scolded him, still breathing heavily. "And just this morning I passed by your place! What happened now?"

"Rin is gone…" Neuhaus made an effort to stay composed, but he failed. He was _this_ close to trembling. "I thought that maybe he came over…" Where else could he have gone?

"Oh." Anya's expression spelled 'pity' all over. "Did you two have a fight?"

"That's none of your business!" Neuhaus barked at her, without really paying attention. He ran a hand through his hair desperately. "Where could he be? Where can he possibly be? Oh my God…"

Anya observed carefully how distressed her cousin was. There was clearly something more between them than student and teacher relationship, she thought that Rin might be for Neuhaus the son he was missing. "Well, if I was a foreign kid in a country I had never been before, I guess I would unconsciously go to the place I can see more distinctively." She shook her head.

Neuhaus looked up. The church! "The Cathedral…" He whispered, and ran away the same way he came, without greetings or anything. Anya twisted her lips in disapproval, and continued mopping, murmuring something about insensitivity and lack of manners.

The man ran towards the tall building like crazy, as fast as his feet could carry him. When he stepped inside the courtyard, the first thing he saw was Rin, sitting quietly at the white stairs, musing, having his elbow on his thigh and supporting his head with his hand, holding his chin. If Neuhaus wasn't so distraught, he'd think that this was a picture straight off a fairytale. He approached Rin with long strides, expecting him to run away as soon as he'd see him. But Rin instead just titled his head and looked at him, not moving another inch, waiting for him to come. That threw Neuhaus off balance once again. Just what the…?

"What the hell are you _doing_?" He spat venomously, as he grabbed Rin from his left arm and made him stand up violently. His patience with the boy had just run out. "What are you scheming, giving me a heart attack with your constant disappearances? What exactly from the phrase 'killers are after you' don't you _fucking_ understand?"

"Don't swear sensei, you're inside a church, in a way." Rin responded, his black bangs covering his eyes, and he felt even more pressure on his arm at the same time. "And you're hurting me!" He let out.

"Damn right I am! You thought you could just let me fuck you and then use the chance to run away from me?" All the bitter feelings that had been accumulated started surfacing. Neuhaus had reasons to be insecure, there were no longer many things he could understand as far as Rin's actions and thoughts were concerned. They were both very confused, after all.

Rin shook his arm violently away, looking at his teacher fiercely in the eyes. "That's what you thought I did?" He asked in a low voice. "That's what you think that was on my mind when I was lying under you?" Neuhaus didn't answer and he averted his eyes, feeling a pang of guilt. "Well, screw you! I'm tired of always trying to get through you, and only result at hitting a wall!"

"Then why did you leave?" Neuhaus snapped back. "You know it's dangerous, you know there are people after you, you know that I would worry sick about you! I'm not the only one doing the hurting here, Rin!"

"I needed to fucking _think_!" Rin cried out, and Neuhaus shut up. "I'm begging you, give some time and space to _think_! I can't… I can't put things in order in my head properly when I'm with you! You're clouding my mind, and my judgment! I'm getting swept away, and I can't even decide if what I'm doing is right or wrong! I can't even recognize my own soul, my own feelings! What so wrong at trying to clear things up? I can't keep on doing this without being sure and certain about it!"

Rin was left breathless and Neuhaus only looked down, defeated. "I understand." He finally said, without meeting Rin's eyes. "I know where you're coming from with this…" He admitted. "I only want you to be safe." He looked at Rin kindly, and reached his arm to cup his cheek. Rin closed his eyes, waiting impatiently for the caress. He needed it. "And whatever you decide…"

_BANG!_

The hand never reached Rin. The boy's eyes shot open and he watched in horror, as his teacher fell behind, hit by the sudden bullet right on the chest. Rin's voice disappeared in his throat, he couldn't scream, the surprising awfulness of reality was just too much to bear. He couldn't move his limbs either. He just stared in shock as Neuhaus' back hit the ground, and on his chest a big, red stain had already started to appear. What… What happened?

"It's alright, nii-san." Rin never thought he would be so scared of hearing this voice. "Don't let it bother you."

Rin turned slowly around. He saw Yukio, several feet away, looking at him behind his glasses like his soul had disappeared. Next to him there was Angel, always in white, and behind them several dark-clothed lower class exorcists. One of them was still holding the gun by which he fired and shot down Neuhaus. They were probably hiding under some kind of invisibility spell. Rin looked at his twin brother, asking 'why' with his eyes. Had they heard them? Oh, did that matter…? On the ground, Neuhaus was coughing blood, in pain. How did they find them?

"We just arrived some seconds ago." Yukio informed him. "We have strings connecting us to every church. If you were with him, I knew you would eventually come here." Yukio stepped forwards. Rin didn't move in recognition. "I told them not to shoot… But that's irrelevant." He looked at Neuhaus' fallen form coldly.

"Irrelevant?" Rin repeated, unable to believe what he was experiencing. Since when did Yukio become so… out of his reach?

"It doesn't matter." Yukio said dismissingly. "I talked with the Pope, nii-san. I'm the Paladin now." Rin instinctively looked at Angel, who lowered his head, accepting the fact. Yes, it was true. "The Pope is our mother's father, nii-san. He'll make you human again and crush Gehenna."

"Yukio… what are you saying?" It was so clear to Rin that his brother had been deceived. Though he had absolutely no proof for it, he just knew it. Nobody wished any good for him, nobody, he knew, it, nobody except Yukio and Neuhaus. But what had happened to his brother? And Neuhaus was unable to move, heavily wounded. He'd live, right? Rin had the strange impulse for an awkward laugh. No way he would die…

"The truth." Yukio simply answered. "Mephisto Pheles is already captured." He turned to the other exorcists. "Take Okumura Rin away and finish off the leftovers." They nodded and started moving.

"NO!" Rin screamed and fell on Neuhaus, who was just barely conscious, trying to protect him. "NO! STAY AWAY! YUKIO!" _Help me, Yukio! _For the first time after a long, long time he was feeling again so helpless, so weak, so useless. He couldn't protect anything! He couldn't do a thing without his sword or his demonic powers! If that was what meant to be human, being unable to protect the people he loved, then Rin didn't want to be one! It didn't matter if he'd go straight to hell! He could feel Neuhaus' breath falling quieter by each second, his heartbeat growing weaker.

Yukio beckoned at them to stop. He approached Rin himself, with slow steps, taking a gun out of his waist. He stood over Rin. "Step aside, nii-san." He didn't feel nice when doing this either. He knew it was painful, but it had to be done. "That man is already dying. We'll set him free from his pain."

Rin turned and looked at him, his eyes full of tears he wouldn't let fall. "Why, Yukio?" He asked him with a trembling voice. "Even though you remember… Even though you know how much I…" He wouldn't let go of Neuhaus.

"Exactly because I know." Yukio cut him off. He raised his gun, pointing it at Rin, and not Neuhaus. "It's true. I can't approve of this. I'll never accept it, nii-san, so it stops here." Yukio just declared, totally unmoved by Rin's unbelievably pained and betrayed expression. "You told me… You told me I was always coming first, remember? Then you just deleted my memories and ran away with him… But I'll forgive you." He unlocked the safety. "So you move it." So that was it then. Yukio was also… hurt. "If I'm really coming first, let him go."

"Rin…" Neuhaus had just spoken, hoarsely. Rin turned to him without hesitating. He raised with difficulty a trembling, bloodied hand, and touched Rin's cheek. "Run… away…" He couldn't keep it up for long. He let it fall, leaving red lines over Rin's right side of face.

"I'm not leaving you." Rin grabbed his hand and clasped it tightly between his. He was looking at him in the eye. "I took that decision." He bent and whispered, so that only Neuhaus would hear him. Rin felt like he had to say now! "I love you."

Yukio pulled the trigger, but the gun held no bullets, just tranquilizers. The syringe hit Rin's back and made him numb all over. He felt someone dragging him away from Neuhaus, and he was no longer feeling his touch, plus the form of his teacher grew more distant and started disappearing slowly; he couldn't think straight, all he knew was that he was losing the man he loved. That someone, who wasn't Yukio but some stranger, dropped him over his shoulder and started walking away. Through the haze, Rin saw a white uniform and long, blond hair. He grabbed the sleeve of that uniform, desperately, and clutched on it. The man to whom it belonged turned and looked at him. It was Angel, right?

"Please…" Rin whispered, letting his tears finally fall. "Please…" He focused on Angel's face with difficulty. But the man averted his eyes, rejecting him. Rin lost consciousness soon afterwards.

Neuhaus was glaring at Yukio as fiercely as he could. "Cursed brat…" He coughed some more blood. "What will… you do… to Rin?"

"I told you, I'll make him human again." Yukio replied. Then he kneeled close to Neuhaus' face and whispered, so that nobody else could hear him: "You wouldn't want that, right? You'll have no excuse to rape him anymore. Not that you would be able to do anything from now on, either way."

"Fuck you!" Neuhaus barked and his condition worsened. He started coughing blood uncontrollably, and he clutched at his chest. The bullet must have pierced one of his lungs. Each breath was a struggle, like millions of needles were piercing him from the inside. This was bad…

Yukio got up and turned to Angel. "Take care of this. We're heading back." The blond man didn't answer. He just stood there, as everybody else disappeared, looking at the wounded man on the ground. He saw him struggling, trying to confront the torturing pain. He remembered Rin and his eyes, as he was pleading him to spare them. He could pretty much guess what kind of relationship there was between Neuhaus and Rin, and he didn't like it. Angel was always loyal to the Vatican. The Vatican was above everything for him. He still hated Satan's son, he still believed that he should be executed. It didn't matter that he had gotten demoted, just… this… something wasn't right. As he was watching Neuhaus trying to turn around and crawl on the ground, leaving bloody trails behind him, as he was trying to get after Rin, even in that state… He didn't like it. Something was amiss, it didn't add up. It… damn…

"I'll just tell you, I don't like this." He announced at Neuhaus and turned at his heels, leaving the other man down, as he was. _He'll die soon either way._ He persuaded himself, and disappeared. No reason to dirty his hands. Neuhaus tried to crawl further, but his body failed him. He fell and lied there, drifting into unconsciousness, away from pain. Right before he closed his eyes, he saw a vague figure of a blond, slender woman, coming towards him.

_Michelle… Is God taking me away? _He wondered bitterly. _How come… Even though I'm supposed to go in hell._ The last thing he saw was her hand reaching for him. On top of it there was a big, black spider.

One month later, the world had found again its normal rhythms. The news about how the Pope was consumed by the Gehenna Gate he opened, and how Satan failed to enter the human realm, had gone worldwide. Also known became the fact that Rin and Yukio had become the heroes who made the impossible to happen. Many students came to study in the exorcist's Academy, only because they admired them. Mephisto had conveniently reverted back into playing as he used to. He was the only one that had arranged things so that he had a win-win situation from whatever result of the battle, so he hadn't been so stressed out. Many people could say that it was annoying. Rin went back to his old life, training with Shura, sleeping in Yukio's class and hanging out with his friends. Shiemi was a bit happier than usual, Kamiki wasn't that stingy, Shima was less horny, Konekomaru was braver and Bon wasn't picking up a fight as frequently as he used to. It was like the experience of surviving through a crucial battle had toughened them up and made them more mature. Just one day after the battle ended, Yukio had presented himself in front of him, ashamed and afraid. Rin was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, with Kuro keeping him company, lying next to him.

"Nii-san…" Rin just turned his head and looked at him. They both knew what each of them was thinking. "I… I can't find him." Rin didn't answer, he just looked at the ceiling again. "I tried to find him! But it just doesn't seem to work! I can't tell if he's dead or alive… There are no records… Angel told me that he didn't deal the finishing blow…" Rin didn't respond then either. Yukio lowered his eyes. "Nii-san… You hate me now, right?" Yukio had made an enormous mistake, he knew. He trusted the Pope and hurt someone Rin cherished. Though he hadn't meant to, his purpose was just to pull them apart, someone just pulled the trigger though he hadn't ordered that…

Rin sat up. "Even if I wanted to, I could never hate you. And even if I wanted to hold a grudge against you, I know I couldn't help but just forgive you." He looked up at Yukio. "You're my brother and I'll always love you the most." Those words of his made Yukio start crying. Rin didn't say anything further. It just hurt too much to harp on the subject any more. He waited until his brother would calm down. It was true, he didn't hold bitterness or meanness against Yukio. He knew that he only wanted what was the best for him… But still… His chest hurt. After everything he had been through, he didn't know if he had accepted it or not. Neuhaus had just suddenly disappeared from his life, the same way he had appeared. Kuro came and rubbed himself against Rin's leg, meowing, sympathizing with him. That reminded him: "Yukio, when are you getting paid?"

"Eh?" Yukio let out, after trying to control himself and wiping his face with his sleeves. "In a month… Why?"

And the month passed. Before he knew it, Rin found himself boarding on a plane, in a direct flight to Paris. No matter the time, the circumstances, the tragedy… He wouldn't forget. Because forgetting that man was not an option. Not one he was willing to grasp, anyway.

"_WHAT, for fuck's sake!" Neuhaus turned and barked at Rin, earning a few disapproving glares from the other passengers. _

"_I just wanted to go to the Eiffel Tower." Rin murmured. "I was in Paris and I didn't visit the one place that's a total must to visit!"_

"_Okay, okay, you know what?" If he didn't say what he was about to say, he'd have to tolerate Rin's nagging through the rest of the trip, and that was not something he was willing to do. "When this is over, I'll take you to Paris once more, to see the Eiffel Tower. Happy now?" _

_Rin turned and looked at him. "You promise?" He eyed him suspiciously. "With your money?" _

"_I promise." _Just stop annoying me already! I'll take you to Bahamas if I have to! …And I'm not your wallet! But if it makes you shut up…

"_I'll remember that promise. You'd better not back down from it."_

"Bastard… Here I'm using my brother's money." Rin whispered to himself, and that brought tears in his eyes. Even if he was all alone now, that was something he had to do. He had to go there. As soon as he stepped foot into the airport after landing, he realized that he remembered every corner he had walked with Neuhaus. Here, they had talked to the clerk… Rin noticed that he was the same person in that position. He felt like greeting him, but decided against it. Like he would be remembered… He got out. There, in front of that shop, they had meet the girls. There, they had fought. There… There… there…

The night was falling. He grabbed a cab and ordered in English for the driver to take him to the Eifel Tower. As Rin stepped right under it, he felt that familiar sensation of his breath being taken away. The Eifel Tower was taller than anything he had ever seen so far. He remembered that the Big Ben was huge too. He also remembered the pictures they had taken in England. The camera was lost when they left all of their things in that hotel and flew to Warsaw, so Rin never got to see them. He shook his head. He knew that at some point, avoiding crying would be impossible, but he had to keep it up as long as he could. They were right, people that told that Paris was the city of Love and Romance. Rin didn't remember seeing anything more beautiful than how the lights were giving the towel a golden hue right now, when the sky was dark blue. Around him, people were walking in couples. They seemed so happy…

Suddenly, a tall, dark man passed by him. Rin stood there, petrified for a moment, but then he ran towards him. If there was a chance… If there was the smallest chance… "Excuse me!" He called at him in English, grabbing him by the arm. "I…"

The man who turned and looked at him had both of his eyes, in a green color. The face didn't resemble Neuhaus' at all. He must have been near 25 or 30 years old. He told Rin something in French, annoyed.

"Sorry, sorry!" Rin bowed to apologized. "I… mistook you for someone else…" The man left and Rin stayed there, looking at the ground. What was he thinking? Even if Neuhaus was still alive, he wouldn't be in Paris. He would still be in Zielonka, correct? Or in Warsaw… or anywhere else. Was he still alive? Even that was dubious. A realistic person would say that he'd probably be dead… Rin lifted his eyes to look at the Eifel Tower once more. _Sensei… I wanted to see this with you. _Rin lowered his head and tears roamed down his cheeks. _Igor… I'm hurting, I miss you, come back to me! I don't care what people will say! I don't care for anything else anymore… Please don't ask me to accept that you're gone!_ What was he thinking, standing there, wishing for the impossible… Had he come here to pray? He'd also pray in Notre Dame…

All of a sudden, he felt two strong arms wrapping around him from behind. He panicked for one moment, thinking that someone was trying to hurt him, but then… Familiar smell, familiar touch, familiar warmth. Rin's heart almost stopped pounding. "Who are you looking for, boy?" Familiar voice. The arms around him tightened and Rin could feel the heart of the other man beating quickly, from his back. "Who are you looking for, Rin?"

Rin turned around to face him, still inside the other man's arms. "How?" He swallowed hard, and he felt like crying more from the tension. The eye patch, the blue eye, the black hair. Everything was there, just as he remembered. "Igor…"

"I just had a hunch that you would come here. You had that too, didn't you?" He leaned in and kissed Rin on the forehead. "I was released from the hospital just some days ago." He told Rin, without leaving his lips from his skin. "They told me a woman who later disappeared saved me. Tell me an idiot, but I believe it was Michelle." Those artificial life experiments… Had they worked? Even so, that meant that Michelle had come to life barely to save him, and then she reduced to ashes once again. The irony… "I learned everything about your achievements. Well done."

"T-Thank you…" Rin stuttered, not knowing what else he could say. Neuhaus took his lips away from his forehead and pulled his head back, to look at him in the eyes. Rin blushed gloriously. He didn't know what he was getting all embarrassed for… He was just so happy… It was such a great gift, what he had just received, it couldn't fit in his mind. God's compensation for all the pain? Rin had doubts till the last moemnet, but when he thought he lost Neuhaus, everything cleared for him. Everything…

"Even if I'm not protecting you anymore… In a professionally matter of speaking…" If Neuhaus was to look at Rin's face some more like this, he was going to blush too. He was getting nervous as well. Neither had he believed that Rin would actually come in Paris after all this. Was it a miracle? No… They were both humans. Both of them. Humans. Neuhaus would anyways go to Japan to meet Rin the next week. Yet, he had decided to stop by Paris, and he was coming in front of the Eifel Tower every night, for a week, hoping he would see Rin somewhere. "Will you let me be by your side from now on?" He leaned in, his lips a mere inch away from Rin's. "Rin, will you let me love you?" _Even with that abusive, passionate, uncontrolled love of mine? _

Rim smiled. "Yes." He whispered. Neuhaus smiled back and leaned further, kissing Rin softly on the lips. Soon, the kiss deepened. The people passing by didn't matter; it was like they were alone under the magnificent tower. Well the truth was that nobody was paying attention to them either way! But for Rin and Neuhaus, this was the most important moment. There, tightly embraced, secure and safe inside each other's arms, their hearts content and bursting from amore and happiness.

_I know that someday, you'll find a nice girl of your age to love you. _

_I know that someday, you'll find a strong woman that will stand by you. _

_But until then… We'll be connected through this. _They broke the kiss and stared in each other's eyes. They smiled and closed them together, their foreheads touching one another's.

_And if we can keep it up, forever. _

They broke the embrace, and held hands, as Neuhaus suggested they should go to a patisserie. Rin's eyes formed little stars at the prospect and he agreed hurryingly. As he was rumbling about chocolate, Neuhaus presented him the camera that had their pictures from England. Rin couldn't believe that he had actually found that. They agreed to go and develop the film later, maybe taking some other pictures here, in Paris. Their footsteps gradually stopped being heard, as they progressed forward, leaving all the fears, hesitations and doubts behind. Though realistic thoughts still remain in the back of their minds, they knew better… They knew they weren't the most realistic persons.

_This is our own Crimson Vow. _

**A/N: Aaaaand… the end! I would like once again to thank everyone who reviewed, you guys kept my thoughts alive. I really hope you enjoyed that last chapter. I know that the most important part in a story is its end, I hope I satisfied you! I don't own anything but the plot. I would be really glad and content if you'd all leave me a final review with your overall opinion about this fic, all the people who have read this, are reading this, or will read it in the future. I really, really hope all of you enjoyed. I might later fix the sudden change of emotions, to ease the transition in chapter 4, haven't decided on that yet. Sayonara! I love you all! **


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